-Thursday-
-12.09 am
| What Vera Tay Jin Mei Means |
V is for Virile E is for Enlightened R is for Romantic A is for Articulate T is for Tender A is for Active Y is for Yummy J is for Joyous I is for Intelligent N is for Naive M is for Musical E is for Extraordinary I is for Insane |
Found this link while reading a friends blog...Interesting!! If everything stated above were true, I'll be the perfect gf any guy would go after. okok...except the naive and insane part of course. Haha...
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I'm a Kayak, Hear Me Roar
Anybody still remember Emily, Lorelai, and Rory of the Gilmore Girls?
Well, I do; and I just finished the latest episode of Season seven: I'm a Kayak, Hear Me Roar.
***************SPOILERS AHEAD***************
Lorelai has just split up with Christopher after seven episodes of wedlock bliss.
*crosses fingers & toes* Luke! Luke! Luke!
Her mother on the other hand, finds the household in a mess after Richard's open-heart surgery.
With these events unfolding, they both then find themselves in the study; Emily downing a bottle of scotch and Lorelai a bottle of vodka.
***************SPOILERS END***************
In a drunken tipsy, Emily tells Lorelai:
It's like a canoe... Life. You're just paddling along in a canoe. Your father and I have been paddling a canoe for years, only now, he's dropped the paddle - he just dropped it! Not only that, now the canoe is going in circles! Without your father there, I'm paddling on my side, and the canoe is spinning in circles - and the harder I paddle, the faster it spins! And it's hard work, and I'm getting tired.
You are in a kayak: kayaks have paddles with things on both ends - you steer it by yourself! You provide for yourself - you're not dependant on anyone! You're independant.
To which Lorelai replies:
I am kayak, hear me roar.
Just under six months ago, I left a relationship which saw me dependant on a man.
I seeked his approval for everything in my life: my actions, my words, my thoughts, the friends I hung around with, the way I dressed, the way I accepted the women that were waltzing in and out into his life.
The end of the relationship found me liberated, exhilarated; thrilled that I no longer had to be made to feel bad about myself, my behaviour, and the choices I make.
But it also made me into a wreck: for the first time in a year, I found myself independant, but I kept falling into his shadow.
I couldn't decide on who to mix with, on who to be friends with.
I couldn't decide if I had stopped talking to half my class because they were a bunch of jerks to begin with, or because he made them seem like assholes.
I didn't know which of my girlfriends to confide in: after all, according to him, they had all been throwing themselves at him and using any means of manipulation to have a chance with him.
I was afraid of speaking up, because for a year, everytime I tried to speak my mind, I was bullied until I turned into a crying jug with eyes so engorged that I couldn't see properly the next day.
I have issues with my self worth and confidence.
After all, for a year, I was made to feel that I just wasn't good enough because I was either not from the right race, religion, or because I wasn't nearly as good as his supposed-ex-girlfriend.
Oh ya, and don't forget the part about me being a psycho.
Physical intimacy is still a problem; I still flinch ever so slightly when my current boyfriend holds my hand.
And don't get me started on trust;
after all, I was stabbed in the back and straight through the heart by the one friend in College that I thought I could count on, my best friend in College.
When it came to college, it was a bigger disaster: I realised that I had built my entire reputation in College as his best friend and his Girl Friday, with no firm footing of my own.
And I was torn with the dilemma of passing with colours so bright that he wouldn't know what hit him, or failing so that I wouldn't have to see him everyday in class. That's kind of left me somewhere in the middle.
But a year ago, that wasn't the case.
Sure, I was no Gold Medallist, but I was a woman with her own mind, and a scathing tongue to defend it.
I was a force of nature, and I could move any mountain that got in between me and what I wanted.
I was one half of the Dynamic Duo, damnit!
But look at me now;
I'm ordinary.
Not only has he jumped out of my canoe into that of another, he's yanked my paddle away from me.
I'm not spinning around in circles - I'm stuck.
Well, not anymore.
Too much time has passed, and I'm sick and tired of being ordinary - I'm anything but ordinary.
I'm buying me a kayak. Right now.
I am a kayak, now hear me roar, damnit!
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