Driveless

-5th February 2009
-Thursday
-11.53pm

Another day has come to an end. Back in KL currently but I'm still having the new year mood. This year or rather for the past 6 months, I just attended class like a robot, went for tutorials as usual but how much I actually absorbed into my brain is a different issue. I didn't do any assignments and sometimes skipped a few classes. I am lazy this whole term and driveless as well. I have no push and drive to do anything.

Exams are in May and honestly I don't really have much time left but still I feel darn lazy to open the books to study. Sometimes thinking bout the exam fees does scare me...paid RM 4 K plus for it and tuition fees for 1 year is RM 5.5 K. With that in mind, I guess I should really study and not waste that money.
I was happy and contented beginning of last year till my exams as J was always or most of the time by my side. His trips to China and HK usually were 2 to 3 weeks max and he will be with me another 2 to 3 weeks or more before he flies to his next destination. I was happy with that arrangement. My mind was free from missing him and I was happily doing my revision while waiting for his return.

I know I sound pathetic because everything about me revolves around only J...J...and J. It's not really true but I would say my life would just crumble without J. Ever since J started working in NZ, I knew my life and our relationship was going to take a terrible turn. J has never ever stayed in any country for such a long period of time and being girls..like they say girls intuition, I knew that somehow J was going to be there for a very long time and no doubt J mentioned the other day he might need to be in NZ for at least 1 to 2 years. My whole life crashed as soon I heard that. I kept quiet but I was crying. I was in grieve. I am too now as I blog. I don't know how I am going to pull through my exams but I just got to.