Mortar boards flew into the air

Congratulations to all Brickfields LLB graduates! I'm extremely happy for you guys :) I can't wait to graduate next year with Mun. I REALLY can't wait :) Mun, time will fly and by then it will be our turn to throw our mortar boards to the air.

Our turn shall come..............

Personally, graduation is a time for me to have a sense of achievement. To feel that all the hard work we put in all these years are well paid off. It will be the best part of my life for my parents to witness this proud moment of my life. To see me walk down the aisle and go up stage to receive my scroll*empty at time of receiving*. It will also mean alot to me if James could make it back for my graduation. I always teased him that besides my wedding and proposal, probably my graduation will be the ONLY few occassions that I would receive flowers from him. It's not only for the flowers, I just want my love ones to witness my proudest moment of my life and what more to ask then for my boyfriend to be present. *Fingers cross*

Now, I'm super excited about my Christmas present from James. :) It is meant to be a BIG suprise according to him but he has been enticing me and keeps hinting to me what is it. Ie: Can open and close, has nine parts, like this like that...For sure he is not that good at keeping secrets and surpises. Hehe! Anyway, I can't wait but for now I don't know what to buy for a guy who has basically everything and also that has REALLY expensive taste :(...

Any ideas?

Better than any other Christmas!!

I'm very blessed to have you in my life & I can't ask for anyone better than you. You're the very special someone that no one could replace because you make my world a very happy place. A BIG hug and kiss for being the most wonderful bf ever! XOXO

Ps:// I love you and miss you very much!

Under my Umbrella..ella...ella

Singing in the rain



This is like the best song and episode ever of Glee Season2. Blame it on my cousin...I'm officially a GLEEK!!! This song really brings the original Singing in the rain by Gene Kelly from the musical Singing in the Rain to a whole new level. Simply jaw dropping!!! Love the fact they brought in Gwyneth Paltrow into Glee to co-sing with Mr. Shoe. They shoud like totally hook up but unfortunately neh....no sparks flying in the air! The choreography for the whole dance was just awesome not to mention though the whole theme was in black and white and yet they even incorporated the yellow umbrella which makes both Mr. Shoe and Gwyneth look so sexy under it. Hmmmm...I'm loving it!!!

Miss Dior Cherie!!!!

Dad just told me that he bougt me a Miss Dior Green Cherie perfume from Langkawi Duty free aiport as my Christmas pressie :) Yeah!! Another one to add to my collection of my Dior Jadore Perfume, CK summer and DKNY apple (Broken) :( .

I heart Dior & Dad

I'm sure you guys know that Miss Dior Cherie Eau De Toilette 2010 (PINK) is a new fragrance from Christine Dior. The  fresh and elegant floral-chypre pink cherie aims at younger women who enjoy freedom and independence. Transparent notes of freesia and lily of the valley start this spring, feminine composition which lines up accords of jasmine, orange blossom and tuberose.

However, dad bought me last year's Spring Miss Dior Cherie L'Eau Eau De Toilette Spray 50ml/1.7oz

• Embraces you with floral, fruity & gourmand notes
• Joyful, delicious, refreshing & comfortable to wear
• Starts with Bigarade orange, fruity notes
• Continues with gardenia, floral notes
• Dry down to notes of white musk, patchouli, caramel, dry woods

FYI:
Miss Dior Cherie editions:
Miss Dior Cherie EDP 2005,
Miss Dior Cherie EDT 2007,
Miss Dior Cherie Eau de Printemps 2008,
Miss Dior Cherie Blooming Bouquet 2008,
Miss Dior Cherie L'Eau 2009.
Miss Dior Cherie Eau De Toilette 2010 

Reasoning from Dad fro buying MDC L'Eau was because it smells fresh and it is more "ME" rather than this year's MDC which leans towards the floral and fruity side. Haha..


Thanks DAD!!!



*Thanks darling for the Kathmandu bag too*



Big hugs and kisses to dad and darling.

Have you ever really loved a "Man"

My all time favourite love song is Have you ever really loved a woman by Bryan Adams!! I practically love all his song i.e: Summer of 69, please forgive me, straight from the heart and etc. Really good old songs from the 90's :)

Anyway, had a really good half an hour conversation with darling on the phone. Felt so good just chatting with him :) It feels like just yesterday when he left for NZ but to think about it how time flies as it is almost 3 months already. I'm surpised that I've lasted that long. :( I've got another 7 months plus before we meet but somehow I feel the days to meeting him is getting so close. I can just feel it :)

He promised that this year will be the last time we will ever be apart. He is tyring to make me happy coz I know for a fact it will not happen. I still gotta do my CLP and chamber once I finish my basic law degree. I probably will need another 2 years or more before I am considered a full fledge lawyer. It is unlikely that he will be base in Malaysia anymore except for short holidays so looks like we will need to stick it out for another 2 years being apart :(

How do you know if he/she is the one? Somehow I just know! Love was just made for you and me. Darling, the days are long and I can't stop thinking bout you every second. I know you feel the same way too. We just have to stick it through and have faith that everything will work out just fine.

****Family law is killing me softly ****

Thailand "Backpacking" Trip

Oh I can't wait for next year!!! I will be finally graduating and will be taking the opportunity to go on my well deserved holiday :)

July - August (1 month) - Will be flying to NZ to meet my darling and then traveling down to the South Island visiting Lisa and baby! *Hope Carol will be able to join me then we shall have a road trip all over NZ :)

 
September 6 - 13 - Me and my bunch of girlfriends from school days would be going on a backpacking trip to Thailand. Not literally backpacking but will be traveling to a few places in Thailand. Our plan for now is to take a train all the way to Hat Yai and stay for a few days then head on to Bangkok via train or bus. From there we would be using Bangkok as a hub and take day tours to Ayutthaya (Ancient City), Kanchanaburi (Border to Myanmar) and etc. I would love to go to the beaches as well :) The real reason why we wanted to take the train to Thailand is because it's an experience we would never do once we start working and why not? I think it would be so much fun. I seriously can't wait :) We knew we would be shopping loads so we decided to fly back via Air Asia. It was really timely for Air Asia to have their annual RM0 fare tickets...We managed to get Bangkok-KL (One way ticket) for only RM156. Oh happiness :) Thanks to Carol and Ita!


Next year seems like a long time more but before I can go on any holiday, will need to start mugging on my books and pass the exams first :(


I miss you so much that I can literally cry *sobz sobz*

Emotional Coma

I'm missing you badly :(





I'm incapable of structuring my thoughts as how to describe the feeling of missing you. I'm only capable of only using word but sometimes words just don't do justice to how a person is feeling!





Another 8 months to go....That seems pretty long at this moment. I guess that will just do for now...Counting down the day till we meet again :)




Por que? Tenho muito saudades de voce. Grande Beijos e abracos. XOxoxxoXO

5 years & 1 month

Well....I'm not kiasu in counting the days, months and years I've been with him. I know my previous post I said that what's the point in counting when you know that we will be together forever. Yeah , I know I said that but I can't help but to feel that Wow...we've been together for so long already.. 5 years!!! Looking back , time really flies! :)


So now it's the 5th year...8th year then 20th year and so on......





“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'”
-Robert Browning-

The little black dress

I bought a dress!!!! A black one to say. I'm never a black person...I've always bought clothes in other colours and not black! I was at little black book, Hartamas and came across a black dress and the design was superb. It is seldom that you come across an empire line little black dress nowadays. I loved it so much but I didn't have black in mind. I immediately asked the salesgirl if she had some other colour other than black..sadly I was so disappointed when she said NO! Nevertheless, I tried on the dress. Syazmeen was quite insistent that I buy the dress as it really fitted me nicely. Wow!!! I can't believe I could fit into an M size....*grinning*. Thanks to the diet :) However, I'm still not too happy bout my *Butt*. More exercise needed but I think it will be quite hard to have a smaller butt as I come from a family of big butt and big thighs genes. The price wasn't that bad. It was reasonable..only RM39.90.


The rest is history. I finally bought the dress. You know the saying that every girls closet has to have a black dress? I actually do own a black dress but it's a long one so I decided why not just get a knee lenght black dress this time...Yeah!!! I got a dress to wear for the PRCAM dinner at MO :)

Hollywood diet

I've been just sipping juice and drinking cabbage soup through out the whole week and I've lost 2kg so far :)


This is happiness yet crazy!!! I need to go back to an average of 55kg. 2 kg more then toning up!


Yes..I need to be able to fit into my dresses again ^_^


It's a torture to go on a diet but for the sake of beauty, we girls would do anything..

Baby can I hold you

Baby can I hold you
"i'm sorry,"
It's all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "sorry" (like "sorry"..like "sorry"..)
"forgive me,"
Is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "forgive me" ("forgive me"..."forgive me"..)
Forgive me..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

I love you
Is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily (words don't come easily..)
Like "i love you", I love you..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(baby can I hold you...)
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(baby, if I hold you..)
(baby, can I hold you..) you'll be mine..
(baby if I told you..)
(baby, can I hold you..)
You'll be mine..
(baby if I told you..)
Baby, can I hold you.

Ps:// Baby you can't just choose one, if you want both, then you have to learn how to balance out your time coz I miss you too much! I will not make you choose...Ultimately it's your choice but just so you know, I'm here!

Awessssooooomenessssss!

I think this guy really has alot of talent! I admire people like this. At first, I thought this will be the typical ABC who doesn't know Chinese but I was so impressed by his cover of Lee Hom's song. Can't have enough of his songs now...I'm so addicted to Jason Chen :). He is such a heart breaker!

Now...I too have to find what is my hidden talent!

Cheat my feelings

I've recently come to realize that you can never put your hopes and expectation on someone so much becasue there will come a time that you will feel disappointed if that expectation is not met. We can only trust in God because our heavenly father will never ever fail us..Just believe and pray!

It's been a week that I'm feeling down. I know I should never let my emotions be affected by others and yet this is happening to me becasue it really matters to me esp when it has got to do with someone you love and care very much for. You asked me to understand and think about your feelings. I'm proud to say that I've changed alot and been more understanding and considerate. Since you wished for me to see things from your point of view, have you ever thought about my feelings? I'm all alone here without you. I only asked for you to call me or the very least text me once in a day. I think it is only fair we make compromises. Don't you think it's fair? I've gone through alot lately and been thinking hard about our relationship. If you can't even give me 5 minutes of your time in a day, then do you even have the time to spend the rest of your life with me?

I'm a girl, I'm a beautiful one, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm loving and most of all I'm your gf. I'm nothing close to being irritating, disturbing or a bugging gf . If you see or feel this as who I am then you don't know how to appreciate me for who I am. No one loves you more than I do..*exclusion clause..your MUM, DAD & GOD*. All I'm asking is to treat me better, with respect and love. I just need reassurances from you. It makes a different because you are so far away. I only want you to have some form of communication with me. Don't forget, my only way of communication with you is by phone. I can't swim or fly to NZ anytime to see you. My way of "lepas rindu" is to only talk to YOU and when I say YOU means a proper reciprocal conversation. Not just you listening to me talk. At times, It's nice to have someone be concern and ask how was my day and just to see how I am...It would be nice:)

Men are from Mars.....

I hate it why men are so diffferent from women in the emotional and communication aspect. Honesty, men do not know how we, women think! They know nothing! They do not know how we feel, even if we are disappointed or sad. They just don't catch these emotions.


Guys as they are...Top 10 list
1) Guys don't realize a simple text message makes a different.
2) Guys think that by not telling us something to not make us worry but in fact it actually worry us more.
3) Guys can compartmentalise their feelings and not think of us.
4) Guys think by giving lip service on how much they love us will do, we need to see it too.
5) Guys are egoistic beings. Naturally are.
6) Guys think that buying flowers is a waste of money.
7) Guys always think that we are complaining but in fact we are just telling them how we feel.
8) Guys always use the lame excuse of being busy and can't or won't call us.
9) Guys always thinks we are DISTURBING them.
10) Guys will never appreciate a girl not until they loose her. 

I seriously cannot understand when you say you are busy. In terms of work, I do but busy the whole day? Don't you have lunch breaks? Toilet breaks? Dinner breaks? Ciggies breaks? You can't even give me 5min out of 24 hours? Is 5 minutes even too much to ask? Do you think I am unreasonable? I've waited 4 days for you to call me. I dare not call you in fear that I will disturb you. Every night I wait in excitement for your call because you always call me before you sleep. I texted you but to no avail...I will never get a reply. The most astounding text I ever got is "I'm very tired, going to sleep now. Will call you tomorrow!". You mean you have no more energy for your voice to come out to talk to me or is it that you are lazy to talk to me since you are very tired. You promise me every day that you will call me at night before you sleep and when I remind you, you answer me in a very irritated tone. Promises are just promises and it will always be broken. I don't know if I can trust you anymore when you say you will call me later. If tomorrow you don't call me, then I fear that you would have created a wall in our relationship. I know long distance relationships are never easy and alot of compromises have to be made to please both parties but it takes 2 to tango and I can't be the only one here holding on to the fort. You need to play your part too. I've never been so disappointed and upset before. I've never shed as many bucket of tears before and cry myself to sleep. I'm just speechless at your attitude towards our relationship. 


God I need your strenght to pull me through. Amen!

Saudades

Saudades in portuguese means Miss but its not an accurate translation because there isn't a correct word to really explain the meaning of the word saudade. It is something more than just missing someone. It's a passionate word with deep meaning.

Today's post is about great people that came into my life, be it friends since school days, or some that I've know along the way in college or even friends that i've only known for not too long. You all have touched me in various ways...be it by your act of kindness, your generosity, kindness and self-less ways....I love you guys very much. I'm touched and grateful that I have such wonderful friends in my life...few that will go all out to genuinely help you and just be there as a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. Thank you :)

M & M

Mellissa, though I've only known you for 2 years, I'm so grateful and touched for all that you've done for me and James. Be it your generosity in hosting us and buying clothes for me all the times :) or your kind and caring ways towards us. Though we chat almost every day...I miss you so much. Can't wait to see you next year in NZ. I've known you like forever. Always listening to stories from Caroline about her cousin, Mellissa since secondary school days. Never did I imagine that I would treat you like my sister and someone that I look up to. As a person, you showed me all the good attributes that a person should be and I wanna be like you. Mellissa and Melvyn, thank you for just being there.

Carol & Ita with a breathtaking view of Bali

Carol oh Carol...I've known you like since when? Hmmm....since Form 1. Can't believe it has been that long. Time does fly huh! Thanks for sticking by me through everything and being such an understanding person. I would have had such a terrible experience in school had it not been you being there for me. From helping me see the board when I couldn't see and also always putting up with my self-made lyrics that I used to sing in class. Haha...
Though I've hurt you before because of my blunt ways, you always forgave me. I'm sorry for being too straight forward at times...I guess you know me and accept me for who I am..I'm trying to better myself too. Thanks for all the lovely meal that you belanja-ed me. I promised that when I'm a successful lawyer, Abalone and sharksfin --- I belanja you! No problem ok.. :) Don't forget, the Maid of Honour's place will always be kept for you unless you reject it la..

Ita, our friendship wasn't a smooth path per say. I remembered when we first knew each other, we were always at each others head. I guess friendship is not something that you cultivate over night. It's a process of getting to sync and adapt to each person's idiosyncrasies and ways. I'm glad we became close around 3 years ago.

Thank you Carol and Ita for being such great friends! There are much more things I would love to say but at times words can never give justice to the things you both have done for me. What would I do without you guys?

We girls at 21 tables + terrace

Jo, you are one of a kind. You are considerate, you are patient, you are kind, you are hardworking, you are warm...you are everything I want to be. Thanks for lending your ears all the time. You speak words of wisdom all the time and you never fail to show me a different perspective of life. You never impose your ways on others and you always make a point to remind us that everyone are just different. Jo, by God's grace, you will go far! This is my prayer for you:)

Mun, my other half! Why my other half? It's because we are quite alike. We speak too loud, we speak too much, we speak too fast! We look young and never look our age. People always think we are still 18. Haha. We gossip like nobody's business and laught too much in class till we kena la scolding from the TAXI UNCLE ..Hehehehe

Amy, the sweet one. You are the organiser of the group. You are the leader. You know when I'm feeling down, you are the one that can always sense something is not right..I can't believe I'm having a writer's block just thinking of what to write about you. I can tell you though I'm stuck here with words, my heart about you feels right. I know you are a great friend. I can sense it too :)

Girls, a BIG thanks to 3 of you. With all the different attributes and characters, you girls make very good bridesmaids and organisers for my wedding...:)

During my visit to NZ in 2008 Summer

Lastly, to the one I love. Thanks for sticking by me through thick and thin. I need not elaborate further ya. You know what I mean la..:) I love you!

ps:// written in no particular order ya :)

We'll be a dream......

I particularly love this part

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

Basically I love the whole song!

I wanna dream....have BIG DREAMS...without dreams there would not be goals and achievement...so why not?

Overindulging in Mooncakes

Time to hit the gym this week...been having all sorts of flavoured mooncakes within the span of 2 weeks and not to mention great food since was squatting at aunts place for a couple of days. Last week, uncle bought some mooncakes from Resort World Genting Singapore. Tried some with Lotus and salted egg yolk. I'm not a big fan of mooncakes with egg yolk so it didn't really leave an impression. This week, boss brought some pure lotus mooncake from Mandarin Oriental Hotel..I must say it is so far the best I've ever tried.The paste was smooth and the pastry was very light. Not to mention that is was not very sweet. Yesterday, went to aunt's house for Mid Autumn Festival dinner and ate more mooncakes from Concorde Hotel. Let see she bought 1 big box that came with 6 small mooncakes with different flavours. There were mix nuts, lotus paste with egg yolk, charcoal yam, pandan, lemon and hmmm...gosh I forgot what's the other flovour. Anyway, we only opened the lotus paste with egg yolk, Pandan and Lemon ones. Personally I thought it was not that fantastic but since aunt bought it at 30% I guess it's worthwhile. I thought the mooncake craze and nightmare was over not until when I came in to the office this morning that Boss offered more mooncake. This time she brought Tiramisu and blackberry flavoured mooncakes...It's so tempting since it is just left outside. Guess just have to wait for someone to "officiated" the opening of the mooncakes then I'll just take a tini-wini bit..

Let see, for the pass week since I was staying at aunts place as Dad came down for a course. My other aunt from Melaka came along and *yum yum* had delicious & glorious home cook food. In a span of 3 days, I had sambal udang, fried gragau, ginseng soup, beggars chicken, sweet & sour fish, chicken chop, pumpkin soup, mash potato, salad and pasta.

Yes, it's time to go back to gym screaming *aarggggg*. Need to watch the expansion of my waist line, hips & buttocks  :(.Guess I have to go back to my diet and no carbo at nights.

I guess I have to tell you this, I'm really sorry If I will hurt you but I've decided to break our perfect relationship.








I don't wanna ever see you again!









Bye-bye FOOD!

The journey of faith

This is an ancient pic during the early days of our relationship

It has been exactly 5 years since we first met. The memories are crystal clear as to what you were wearing during our first date and also what our conversation were. I remembered you wearing the Seed shirt with jeans, Rolex watch and also your police boots. My heart was racing while waiting for you to pick me up. Well after all it was my first date, I'm entitled to feel nervous and yet excited at the same time.

Fast forward 5 years, here we are still together and I know I love you more and more as each day passes. I admit our journey is no fun fair. It's not smooth, it's not happy all the time, there are ups and downs occasionally but yet we managed to concur all of our differences, understanding each other better. Love is self-less! Sacrificing is part of the game..We don't complaint but go all out to pleased our partners.

Though we are apart all the time, I guess this is how our relationship gets better. As a saying goes.."If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart." It's true! Every time I hear your voice, I feel you close and near to me. I look forward to that very call everyday. Anyway, I can't deny the fact I miss you every day but I'm strong and I know I can survive through this ordeal. Just looking forward to get my LLB Degree and doing my CLP. :) 

Celebrating his 30th birthday this year :)

Darling, I just want to say I will hold your hand till the ends of our life. I will love, cherish and appreciate you in every possible way. I'm sorry If I previously hurt you so deeply. Every day is a learning process for us to strive to be a better person and I want to do it with you. You once said that we have a long road to go and that you would want to walk it with me.. Fate brought us together and I have faith that the Big Man above knows what is best and has great plans for us in the future. Right now, right here...I just want to wish you a very Happy 5th Anniversary. I don't know why am I even counting the years as if it really matters. What matters most is I know we have along way and more years to go so why count in the first place. I know we will always be together despite what may come our way.

Ps:// You said you loved me for these 5 years...I will say I've loved you for 5 years and will love you forever!

What if......

What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will.".

Love the letter that Sophie wrote to Claire in the movie " Letters to Juliet". Personally, It was really touching and emotional for me not to mention romantic.

It really reminds me of you.

Bad days, I feel you slipping through my fingers..
I feel I'm so far away from you that I don't matter anymore.
I feel lonely
I'm afraid I won't recognise you and your touch.
Your smile, touch and your face is constantly running in my brain.


Good days, I know you're there.
You are the reason I look forward to my final year.
Everyday I can't wait for your call
The excitement of hearing your voice makes me wanna....
Though it really hurts to be far away from you,

I know it's the best for our future so be Happy :)


It's another 5 days to our 5th Anniversary of which we only celebrated 2 years as you were away for the rest and this year is no different. Well, it's just a number and since we will be together for many more years to come so why count in the first place. :)

Oh, will be starting class tomorrow *excites*. Can't believe I will be a final year student. All my hard work for the pass few years will be paid off real soon...

DIGI Malaysia day advert

Absolutely loved this advert. It's genuine, cool, awesome and brilliant! Who doesn't like sambal? If you don't then you're not Malaysian. :)

Well done DIGI!!!

The untitled emotion......

Why do people procrastinate?

Everyone procrastinates to some degree so it's normal but when you've asked someone for something for like 3 -4 times and yet it's not done, it gets kinda irritating to have to keep asking for it. No one likes being nagged and vice versa.

Definition frm Wikipedia

Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.^[1] Schraw, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.^[2]
Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.


I really don't mind if a person procrastinates because I do it too. We are humans and we are definitely not perfect. Yes, it can be annoying, irritating and frustrating but definitely not anger. However, if the task is really time sensitive and of great importance, it really gets on my nerves but what can I say especially if that person is your love ones. Day by day I just have to remind him and of course he will say yes...yes...yes but the task is never done. Actually it's not even difficult to do it. I used to get really angry but it has now turned into disappointment because I feel what I'm asking can be done within 5 minutes and telling me you are busy is just an excuse. Moreover, what I'm asking will eventually be part of something for you. I wanted to keep it as a surprise but I had to tell you it's for you and I thought by doing so it will speed up the process...I was wrong. How difficult can it be?

I just have to be patient and wait....just wait and wait!


Damn it.......


All I need is just an address to send a card to you. *sobz*

Brasil, minha segunda casa!!!!

The title translated simply means Brazil, my second home in portuguese.

Amirul and I at the All American Reject's concert

Amirul and I, we've planned to go back to Brazil in 2014 for the football worldcup which would be held in Brazil. For obvious reasons, he loves football and would die to go back to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the worldcup live. As for me, football isn't my cup of tea but since he has plans to return to Brazil during that time, so why not just tag along as a companion and also to visit all my beloved friends and host families. Oh....for those who doesn't know, Amirul and I were previously exchange students to Brazil in 2004 - 2005 under the Rotary Youth Exchange Programme.

Belle and me in front of the then Eye of Malaysia

Memories of Brazil still lingers in my mind all the time. The memories are still fresh and I deeply miss my host families. Fortunately, I've met my host sister, Marina twice in Malaysia as she is a air stewardess with Emirates Airlines and will catch every opportunity for a flight to Malaysia to visit me. I've also met with Cibelle, my first English speaking friend in Brazil which became 1 of my closest friend ever. She was doing a backpacking trip in Asia few years back and managed to stop by Malaysia and as usual I played host to her.

Gemma brought me to One Tree Hill in Auckland

I hope to see my other youth exchange friend in Brazil in 2014. Perhaps I shall start contacting them to make sure everyone return to Brazil then and we shall have a mini gathering. The first exchange student that I got to know and eventually became 1 of my closest friend like forever...GEMMA! She was different from others. I immediatelly clicked with her and we did everything on our Northeast Trip for 1 month. I was so happy I managed to visit her in New Zealand last year and we managed to catch up and she brought me round Auckland. We were just so glad we actually got to meet up after 4 years since leaving Brazil.

Kofi, Kate and me posing in front of the famous Christ the Redeemer in Riode Janeiro

Hmmmm....Ok that was about Gemma. Next on the list should be about Kofi, from South Africa and Kate from Australia. I missed them alot. Both of them were my besties after the Northeast Trip. We sang in the bus, sat together, hung out together...did everything possible together. Both of them were great friends but sadly after returning to our home country, we hardly keep in contact though both are listed in Fb as my friends. Looks like it's about time to reunite the gang...2014-Brazil seems to be the perfect year, perfect time and perfect place to meet up.

Esti from Indonesia

Esti was my best friend in Brazil as she lived in Sao Paulo with me. Kofi and Kate were staying in different states really far away from me so it was quite hard for me to visit them constantly. Both of us did quite alot of activity together, from shopping to sleeping over and etc. Que Saudade (Missing her). Though Indonesia is so near to Malaysia, sadly we never met up too.

Exchange students from various contries

Finally, a group of exchange students from various countries during some event we took part. I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone in Brazil in 2014. I guess then will be a good time to meet up as everyone would have graduated and working. I remembered Kofi, Kate and me, the 3 of us had come out with some adventurous plan that we would visit each other in our respective countries and would take turns every year. Hmm....well it's always easy to talk and plan but execution is always the hardest part...

2014...I'm counting down :)

Coffee, tea or me?

Poems written by Mr. J


Friends and lover...

Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.

1.Love On The Internet

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.

When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.


2.Emotions...

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

Those were the days when J was going after me. Guess he didn't know how to express himself but to blog bout it and to let me stumble accross his blog. I would say this again and again that I'm so blessed to have him in my life as my pillar of strengh, my listening ear where I seek solace and also a place where I can find comfort. Thank you for just being there.

Espana....my dream honeymoon destination!!!

Funny how I thought of you as I was watching some travelling and cooking show on Spain! I can't help to think about you every single time I see something that is associated with ESPANA! Barcelona, Madrid.....

Every since you worked in Spain for 4 months, I've begun to fantasized of going to Spain to see the wonderful Sagrada da Familia and all the other breathe taking architecture that is of Antonio Gaudi's work. After listening to all the interesting stories of your adventures in Barcelona, Spain, I've begun to completely fall in love with that city, country. Every since going to Brazil and being able to converse in Portuguese, I've always wanted to learn Spanish as it is more widely spoken compared to Portuguese. Perhaps, ESPANA will be the best place... :)

I will never forget Spain as it was the first country you went for work and the longest away from me before New Zealand. You went for 4 months and I thought it was HELL but you never know what surprises may come next. Before I knew it you were going to NZ for 6 months. It was painful..haha..You know there is a saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", I don't know...I feel its more like 'Absence makes the heart more painful". Haha...Now, you have yet gone to another country far far away from me for God knows how long...Yeah yeah think long term as I said in my previous blog post!

Back to Espana, gosh I think I could live there forever...All the wonderful and glorious food! Hmmmmm....Paelas, Tortillas, Hamons and etc...Yum Yum!!

Before I've always wanted Maldives to be my Honeymoon destination but in recent years...Huh I've got myself a new place..*a hint to Mr. Tan* ..Ooops...

Ps:// I love you more and more as the days go by

Everyday I love you

I've been sick for almost 2 weeks...I don't know why the cough and sore throat just hasn't gone way! I think my life has gone from boring to dull...far beyond dull i think. My daily routine is just work, home, watching movies and sleep. Not much of a life huh...I guess not much for my final year.

I can't stop thinking bout you everyday. I know we've always been apart  such as Mlk and KL but this year we've always seen each other every fort night and so I feel kinda off the track knowing that you are so far away. I can't seem to put my emotions right. It's only almost 2 weeks but I feel like it has been 2 years what more another 10 months...gosh I can't wait.

Baby, the only thing I look forward to everyday is the time when we speak on the phone or chat on the MSN. *emo* sial.

I'm just glad that you are back to work and you said that you are doing this for our future...so yeah I got to sacrifice all this shitty emotions of mine and think long term.

Ps:// I love you!!!!!



 

Nevereverland

Don't really have the mood to blog about anything. Being sick is no joke! Having a really bad throat and cough as well. I didn't have much sleep yesterday. Sigh! I miss you dear! Yes, even though it is just a phone call away but it's not the same not having you around so easily ie: to fix my comp, to sycn my ipod, to check my phone and just messing round with all the electronic gadgets. I'm not saying I don't know how to do it myself. It's just that you've always enjoyed doing it and I rely so much on you that now you are not here, things just seems different.

I hope that you settle down soon and your work will go smoothly. Don't stress too much k. I will here anytime you need someone to talk to. I can't wait for next year when I get to meet you. Though it's almost a week since you left and I'm already thinking about next year. Haha..Can't wait to graduate then we can do so many things together such as my long awaited road trip :)

I Love you!

IT IS YOU!!!

IT IS YOU!!!

YES.....IT IS YOU~~~~~

IT IS YOU!!!! 

ps:// Stop speculating and being in denial of the truth.

The betrayer of my feelings

I've been too nice! Yes, I have. I defended you when everyone shunned and spoke ill of you. I told them that perhaps if they got to know you better, they would have had a different perspective of you. I was there for you when you had relationship problems, when you just needed a listening ear and just someone to talk to. I was there when you were at your worst, when you were stressed and when you just needed to come over to see me. I supported you all the way by encouraging you even though I disagreed with certain things you were doing.

I treated you as a friend! I genuinely thought that I could equally share my darkest and deepest secrets with you and not be judged by you behind my back. You think you could hold me in your fist and control me by confirming gossips about me and perhaps even spreading them? To Ms. X, if you wanted to be two-faced, at least make one pretty but unfortunately with that bubbly nose of yours, stop thinking you are that hot and way smarter than others. You even despise others who do better than you in exams. We are all friends! You should be happy for them. Common...wake up la!!! I wonder if your bf even knows of your behaviour and character. It's a disgusting habit of yours to gossip.

During my birthday party some years back, you made my organiser think that everyone won't be attending as you couldn't attend. What were you thinking? Am I really a threat that you had to make sure everyone wouldn't be able to attend? Subsequently, you had the nerves to go round gossiping about me. Do you think I would care how people would think about me? I've come to accept myself for who I am. So tell me, im so curious, what do you gain from spreading gossips about me? Self satisfaction or just to boost your self-esteem? I find that only people with low self-esteem will go to that extend to speak ill about a person just to make themself feel better. To gain power over a person...

I felt betrayed!!! I thought you were my friend. A sincere friend per say. It hurts that you were capable of doing such a thing to me just because you could. I made a wrong decision by trusting you when everyone warned me. I disregarded others for you. You know what? I'm numb now as I don't feel anything for you. Loosing you as a friend donesn't mean anything to me as I can assume that you never sincerely cared and treated me as a friend. You were always there so you could digged more of my secrets and use them against me. From now on, you have no power over me..I feel liberated! Yes..pls don't even dare to come into my life and try to be nice and all as now I know your true colours.

I'm not going to harp and dwell about you in my blog as you don't worth that much glory to be even in my blog post. What I can say for now is that you seriously lack self-esteem. Please do something about it if not you shall be loosing people close to you. Take time to realise all your wrong doings before it is too late!!

Cherries....cherries & cherries

I will try to blog every single day so you won't miss out on my everyday life back here in Malaysia. Though you might be far far away but when we both look up into the sky, out hearts are actually beating as one. *aiyo so cheesy*.

The distance and the fact I won't be seeing you for 10 months hasn't kicked in yet. I still feel fine. Haha. To be honest, I was more esthetic bout my results which I knew on Tuesday morning the day u left. I guess I got caught up with the results rather than feeling sad that you were leaving.

The very day you left, I fell sick. I was coughing non stop and found it very difficult to breathe. Today, I'm having a very bad throat and feeling feverish. My whole body is aching. I guess I'm coming down with a fever. Friends say this is call love sick...Haha.

I was worried sick bout you today! I prayed so hard whilst driving to work with shaky hands. I'm just relieved that you are fine and that everything will be ok.
I can't wait to visit you. Hence the title of this post...Cherries came to mind!

Love you and I can't wait for classes to start and join the rest of my fellow warriors to battle. This year we will strive in our studies and get even better results :)

Cupcakes.bananas.chocolates & you

I realized I've not blogged for almost 1 and a half years and didn't even give much thought to the existence of my blog. Somehow instead of studying today, I spend the whole day reading minishorts . I find much joy in just reading each of her post. I prefer her blog to other blogs such as Ringo (Cheesy) and smashpop. I do not seem to understand the need of cam whoring with all those lala outfit and make up and also the use of broken English. I agree that my English is not 100% perfect either but at least I don't brag and boast about myself. I like minishorts as her entries are original, meaningful, intellectual and partly because I feel I can really connect to what she writes.

This year we will make the big 5 years together. Of course, ours is actually a very normal relationship. Slowly the ferocious flames of 'just-in-love' slows down, and the huge bonfire is now a calm flame giving just enough light to warm up our lives. Corny I know, but I'll also say this. It's not easy to keep the flame going. In recent months, it's getting harder to tolerate his idiosyncrasies, and I quite believe he feels the same way too. However, I know the fact is that we still love each other to bits.

Some people wonder why I put up with James, and likewise I wonder why he puts up with me. I know in our heads, we are Mr. right and Ms. right. I know, he wants an independent and confident girl who does not cry all the time or calls every few hours in a day and one who will often agree with every thing he says with no questions ask. Unfortunately, I'm strong-headed, very self opinionated, inquisitive, egoistic on the outside( which Chinese doesn't want face) but on the inside very emotional and crumbles easily. Apparently, I'm argumentative as well...

Truth to be told, relationships are just like roads. The new roads are smooth, squeaky clean and definitely an easy way to drive on but once it comes 5 years like ours, it will have potholes, gravels & sand and it will be such a bitch to just drive on it. The only way is to repave the road and go from there. The analogy of the road gives me great meaning. Our repaving of the road took place this year with deeper meaning and more promises and commitment to make it work.

I know this man, right now, he's just right for me. I'm not sure if he's going to be just right for me forever, but I do hope so. I have bigger plans for the future with him and through God we shall be there to the end of this road.

Darling, as our relationship matures, it is just like wine as it gets better and better through time. I pray that we will always remember our "2005 vintage" as it will be better and stronger as time passes.

Driveless

-5th February 2009
-Thursday
-11.53pm

Another day has come to an end. Back in KL currently but I'm still having the new year mood. This year or rather for the past 6 months, I just attended class like a robot, went for tutorials as usual but how much I actually absorbed into my brain is a different issue. I didn't do any assignments and sometimes skipped a few classes. I am lazy this whole term and driveless as well. I have no push and drive to do anything.

Exams are in May and honestly I don't really have much time left but still I feel darn lazy to open the books to study. Sometimes thinking bout the exam fees does scare me...paid RM 4 K plus for it and tuition fees for 1 year is RM 5.5 K. With that in mind, I guess I should really study and not waste that money.
I was happy and contented beginning of last year till my exams as J was always or most of the time by my side. His trips to China and HK usually were 2 to 3 weeks max and he will be with me another 2 to 3 weeks or more before he flies to his next destination. I was happy with that arrangement. My mind was free from missing him and I was happily doing my revision while waiting for his return.

I know I sound pathetic because everything about me revolves around only J...J...and J. It's not really true but I would say my life would just crumble without J. Ever since J started working in NZ, I knew my life and our relationship was going to take a terrible turn. J has never ever stayed in any country for such a long period of time and being girls..like they say girls intuition, I knew that somehow J was going to be there for a very long time and no doubt J mentioned the other day he might need to be in NZ for at least 1 to 2 years. My whole life crashed as soon I heard that. I kept quiet but I was crying. I was in grieve. I am too now as I blog. I don't know how I am going to pull through my exams but I just got to.

Depression

-2nd February 2009
-Monday
-5.03pm

I'm so bored back home in Melaka but hey, I get to save lots by eating at home and not paying for anything when we go out to eat. It just dawned on me today why lately I've been putting on back my weight again is perhaps I'm just sad. For the last six month after J left for NZ, I put on the kilos slowly by slowly.First it was 1 kg then 2 kilos fluctuating between there and now after the NZ trip I lost 2 kilos then now New Year and I weigh myself today and got a shock. I'm 58 kilos. OMG! I used to weigh 51 kilos during my secondary school days and after graduation, I started to put on weight till around 57 kilos. Later, I went on a Youth Exchange Programme to Brazil for 1 year and before I knew it, I came home weighing around 63 kilos. I thought I could loose weight again but somehow the good food in Malaysia made me even fatter till 65 kilos. Occasionally, my weight would fluctuate all the way till 67 kilos. Then, I decided I am not going to live like this forever. I wanted to look good, I wanted to be able to get clothes easier, I wanted to make my bf proud to have a beautiful gf so I got myself into a slimming programme as soon as I got to KL to study.
It was then I slowly shed the kilos and after around 8 months I was weighing 52 kilos and I thought I was the happiest person on earth. I gained self confidence and I could just walk into a shop and getting clothes was much easier. My weight fluctuated to around 54 to 55 kilos and I was still quite happy with it. Then it all started when I had exam stress and J left for NZ my weight would fluctuate up and down. I went for treatment regularly but I know I did not have any more discipline. I was depressed, stressed, sad and just down all the time. Food was my only way of comfort and happiness. After my NZ trip I was like 58.7. I was shocked to the maximum. I went for treatment and came out at the weight of 57.6 kilos. I finally dropped to 57 kilos but who can imagine Chinese New Year was just round the corner. Aiyo, now I dare not even try to weigh myself. I drank the slimming coffee everyday without fail till I got my nose bleed as it is quite heaty. I didn't eat carbo at night and I ate so much fruits and vegetables but still I have no idea how I was able to put on weight. Pathetic !!!!
As soon as I go back to KL , I need to be really on crash diet. I don't want to go back being the old me though J likes me that way better (he said better to hug) but I don't care. I'm doing it for myself.

Hot & Cold

-30th January 2008
-Friday
-3.12 am

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

by James Tan


J doesn't do this kinda lovey dovey romantic stuff for me anymore :( No more loving smses or messages. After 6 months of the relationship guys usually change. Time flies, it's been 3 years and 4 months and we are still standing strong in this relationship. As J said, all we need is faith..yes faith! However, sometimes the distance is really killing me inside. So, whatever...one thing I would dearly wish for is for time to go back to 3 years and 4 months ago :)





Thanks baby for getting the DKNY perfume and the Ipod touch as my Christmas Pressie. Not forgetting the NZD 500 gift voucher from Max to spend. Love you lots.

You & I both

-28th January 2009
-Wednesday
-2.51pm

I'm bored...seriously bored. 3rd day of new year and I'm bored! Imagine! Fortunately I predicted I would be bored back in Melaka and hence I brought my Lappie home with my maxis 3G broadband. New Year was slightly more excited than usual.

Denise Keller was here with us. Haha. Yes, DENISE KELLER! Please don't be envious. She is my cousin....Her Granny and my granny are sisters. She was filming a documentary on Melaka and also CNY and finding her roots back in Mlk. Her programme will be aired on Discovery Travel roughly end of March on channel 707 on Astro. Pls do watch it. As usual, filming is not easy. Whole family had to pretend sitting around talking, laughing and do the usual tea ceremony. I pity the most is the lion dance troop. The had to literally perform the dance for 3 times. The main guy that was leading the dance and holding the head was sweating profusely. Hey but to compensate we did give them a VERY BIG ANG PAU - RM 280.00. So now I'm a star..glamour konon. Haha.

As usual did the normal family visitation in the afternoon on the first day and night I went out with friends. Did some catching up and stuff & second time konon glamour was I got to shake Melaka Chief Minister's hand - Dato Ali Rustam ( The most corrupted minister in Malaysia)....pls don't sue me for defamation. lol. It's a fact!!!!!

Second day, visited my future MIL. Haha. She cooked lunch for me. 4 dishes somore for just the 2 of us. According to her, James called her and told her when I visit please cook more in order for me to be FATTER. ( Hate that concept). Guys are weird..rather my bf is weird. He seems to like my older self when i was so much fatter. Anyway, back to MIL story. It was so much fun to be there. MIL told me James was such a rascal and mischievous boy while growing up. He used to be so hard headed and naughty. One very interesting conversation between mother and son during James last trip back which MIL told me.

J: Mummy, you don't know my gf very cheong hei ( Long winded) oh..
M: Very good oh! You don't want to listen to mummy so God gave you a cheong hei gf.
J: Oh mummy, so like that la...not siding me also..lol.

When I heard that I burst into laughter. Well, seems MIL likes me very much. Me happy :)Another crucial information found out...James can COOK!! What? He always asked me to cook this cook that for him when he is back and now...haha. I am going to make sure he COOKS for me. *Evil laughter*

Chinese New Year this year just seems different without J around. J is in NZ and V is in Malaysia. To me there are 3 occasions that are not to be missed. 1) Birthday, 2) Christmas & 3) Chinese New Year. Every single occasion represents a different meaning in my heart. Firstly, birthdays are important because is the day you grow 1 year older and I love celebrating it with my close ones. Yes, some ppl do say that it's just another day in a year and age is only a number. Another reason is coz my birthday and J's birthday is only 3 days apart and we have been celebrating every year together for the past 3 years and this year will be our 4th together but I know J won't be able to celebrate with me this year coz he needs to work in NZ. Secondly, Christmas is also the time to celebrate it with close and love ones. We go to church, sing christmas carols and pray together. Thirdly, Chinese New Year is a time where you get to have a gathering with our family and have a wonderful meal together. We talk, laugh, joke and just crap anything. We not only eat , eat and eat, we also show our respect towards elders by going on visitations and of course collecting ANG PAU. *smiles*. I love all these 3 occasions coz it's all surrounded by love and care for one another with love ones. J is not here and it makes a big difference to me. It's a quiet new year without J with me.

Anyway, I've not even blog bout my NZ trip last month. Guess I won't but I will upload a couple of pics here...












This is a very random pic but I simply loved it. It's just like a poster pic or introduction scene from series like The Practice..."Previously on The BAC Entourage".
Our very own version of The Practice...lol

Lousy moments......

-19 November 2008
-Wednesday
-12.40 am

I'm still feeling lousy but of course much better compared to few days back.
Arggggg....how does one get rid of those kinda feelings inside? For sure I know I will never be able to get rid of it 100%. I just feel like chilling at home not doing anything. Lie in the whole day and laze at home. Unfortunately, I can't. Morning need to work then head off for dinner with Virata and gang at Cheras. It's gonna be another long and tiring day....:)
December isn't far off...finally my flight tickets are settled. The thing is I'm flying with Qantas and need to board the plane from Singapore and transit at Melbourne for freaking 10 hours then head off to Auckland. I'm still contemplating if I should actually get out of Melbourne Airport for some sight-seeing...hmmmmm? James-Auckland-Christchurch dieing to see you...Xoxox...
My name...Vera Tay if you say it fast it does sound like Virata actually.
Went clubbing last Sat at this superb club call twenty.one and Virata's friends were like ohh so finally we get to meet the girl who shares the same name as Virata.. *watever*

Shit happenssss....

-17 November 2008
-Monday
- 11.58 pm

When shit happens, no matter how and what we try to untangle the mess, it can never work so easily. As for me, I will take days, weeks, months before I eventually figure what I should do to clear this off my mind. I feel lousy, I feel happy, I feel excited, I feel down, I feel confused......
When I think about it, I feel happy, there is this glow in my face but deep down I doubt myself now. I'm unsure about everything I've plan. I never thought such a thing could happen to me. However, part me of never regretted it.
I can't stop thinking bout it till today. I wake up I ponder about it. I start to think maybe I shouldn't had done it or maybe I should have....I can only say that since stuff happened, we can only make the best out of it now. :)
Conclusion, at least for a moment, I felt different and had that tinge of happiness.
A burden is off my shoulder now....sigh of relieve!!!
LIFE still has to go on. It's difficult but I will pass it with flying colours

Ps: For those who loves watching Gossip Girl, FYI I love Dan Humphrey and Serena...
Certainly can't stand Chuck Bass..:)

Crappy bus service

-16th October 2008
-Thursday
-11.22pm

Exhausted from such a tiring day. Today got really cheated by this stupid bus company named METRO bus. It all started when I decided to take the metro bus to college instead of my usual Rapid KL bus as I was catching the bus from Curve instead of 1U.
First event that shocked me was when I told the bus conductor my destination was KL central , immediately he said RM2.50. I was really shocked. The usual Rapid KL bus only charges RM2.00 for a whole day pass where else Metro's ticket is only Valid for a single trip. Nonetheless, I paid for the ticket without even trying to argue with him. No wonder Metro does not have as many passengers as compared to Rapid KL. Secondly,
on the way towards KL central, I over heard the bus conductor telling another passenger something like that they would bypass KL central's stop all together as it is very jammed during that hour. Next I knew, they took a short cut and stopped at Pasar Seni. I was so mad. Now, they charged me RM2.50 for going to Kl central and instead I had to go down at Pasar Seni and take a LRT to Kl central that cost me RM 1.00. All the hassle and instead of spending the usual RM 2.00 for transportation a day, I ended up spending RM 3.50 to go to college and another RM 2.10 to go home to Kelana Jaya as I was meeting my dad there.
Regarding Metro bus, I was furious. The promised destination was KL central and they dropped me off at Pasar Seni and I paid RM 2.50. That is really a breached of contract. How can they just tell the passengers that just because its jam so they would bypass that stop. They can't just act according to their wimps and fancy. I almost told the conductor off but because I was already running late I gave that a miss. So unreliable. Actually, before I even boarded the bus, I gave a thought whether I wanted to that the risk of taking Metro since they are so not reliable but like I because I was running late and afraid that the Rapid Bus would take some time thats why I took the risk...Never again....
For those who always takes METRO, I suggest you take Rapid KL in future as Metro is not only unreliable but they CHEATED me!!!! I feel so cheated!! Cheh.....

Sluggish & Lazy days

-14th October 2008
-Tuesday
-11.56 am

It's Tuesday & I feel so Saturdayish. Perhaps after taken a rest on Sunday and Monday, this is what happens. Feeling all lazy and dread the thought of going to college for Land and Trust tutorial and then Trust lectures. I have totally full schedule on Tuesdays which starts from 2.15pm to 3.45pm for Land tutorial, 4.00pm to 5.30pm for Trust tutorial, break 1 hour and finally 6.30pm to 9.30pm Trust lectures. What a tiring day ahead! Sigh.....
Just something happy to share. Just confirmed that instead of only going to Auckland,NZ to visit James, we've also planned to celebrate new years at Christchurch.
Well, since my best friends cousin lives over there, they actually invited us to visit the newly wed couple. I just can't wait. At first, I thought I would only be stuck in Auckland, North Island but now my dreams have come true and we will be able to fly in to the South Island as well. Eager for shopping, sigh-seeing, touring and of course spending Christmas and new years with my dear.
Of course before all this, lots of lectures and tutorials to overcome. I'm sure I can do it. Sometimes, just wish I had Hiro Nakamura's powers then I can bring myself to the future, make time go faster and even fly myself to NZ for free...haha.
I wouldn't need an air ticket of course...perhaps I need Mana too!!

Meanigless, lifeless, clueless

-12th October 2008
-Sunday
-12.36pm

It's been 2 months and 10 days since James left for New Zealand. It has not been easy for me either. Times are bad I would say it. I would be emo, I cry, I think, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Why did I get a bf whose work forces him to travel around the world? Why can't he find a job here? We have gotten into many many arguments regarding this sensitive issue. Well, we all know that its for the better of our future but there will always be a "BUT"...
Let me see, since we dated in 2005 till today, he has traveled to Hong Kong, China & Macau various times for 3 to 4 weeks each trip; Spend 2 months in Germany, France, Turkey, Kuwait, Iran & Togo(not sure if was same trip); 3 months in Spain & now finally in New Zealand for 6 months. He will only be back in End of January 2009 for Chinese New Year. Looks like he has traveled all the continents except for North & South America. Just so you know, he graduated from University of Queesland, Australia so count that continent in too.
Every single time he is away, everyday is like a thousand years. He has only been in NZ for over 2 months but it already felt like half a year. One very thing I have not been asking him everyday when we speak on the phone is "Dear, when will you be coming back?" or "faster come back can or not?" is because I will be flying over to NZ in December with compliments from my baby:). I just can't wait!!!
One thing I would like to highlight is he never seemed to fail me in coming back for special occasions. Last year, he managed to come back in time from HK for CNY 2007 in February and this year CNY 2008 from Spain. What's more romantic is he gave me a surprise by coming back exactly on my birthday this April from China though he was very busy with a project there. There were many times I fell for the surprise when he said he was coming back in a week when actual truth he was at the airport flying back home. In many ways, he has flaws as we are just human beings but most of all since I chose to be with him, I will love him for who he is and not what he is. I was watching A walk to Remember ( I know its super old movie but I only got to watch it now as I managed to download it) just the other day and I came across a line in the movie which caught my attention..." Love is like the wind, we can't see it but we can very well feel it"---something to that effect lah. Awwwww....so romantic. Just love it!!!
Well, as a friend just commented...long distance relationships keeps the heart stronger..just like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Haha...I hope its true.

I need a holie....

-30th August 2008-
-Saturday
12.12 am

So...finally after making all those frantic calls to the college, I eventually got my results via online. 28th August---After watching The Happening on my lappie, I decided that i should sleep early since I have to wake up at 7am for work at 8am. By then, it was around 12.30am almost 1 am. Suddenly...
*Maria...oh beng Maria....*
Me: looks at phone, unfamiliar number, however picks up call.
EM: Vera..our results are out. Can check online ad.
Me: Stunned and shocked...*Speechless*..Where? Where?
EM: Go to email and from there click on the london external link and key in registration number, examination number and birth date. Besides, A & J also passed.
ME: Frantically switching on lappie, connectin to internet is another issue *Curi line neighbour*..Lord Forgive me!!
ME: Ok...will check and let you know later. Bye and thanks
Me: Calls A and congratulated her.
A: "Faster check your results....I wanna know.
Me: Yeah, wait awhile..internet connecting sux..besides, I donno where is my examination docket..
After searching high and low *5 minutes later*..
A: okok....quickly check and key in.
A & ME : *Impatiently waiting for details to upload* swt
As the page loaded, I only managed to see the word PASSED before I even saw the individual results for all 4 subjects.
ME:*Screaming & shouting*....1.15am *sorry Esther(House mate)
A: Congratulations ya..*Both excited*
Talked for awhile then said our good nights.

Overall results I was shocked. I didn't expect to pass my public law paper. Nevertheless, my unexpected results really kicked in after I called my dad. I thought could have done better in CLR instead I only got 43 for it and also my Public. I was disappointed with my CLR results as I really studied what Mr. Rajasingham predicted and as true as it was..the questions really came out and I felt I did well for that paper..Sigh..As for public, I already predicted I would fail but praise the Lord I managed to scrapped through.
Contract has always been my strongest subject yet during the exam I felt otherwise. I wasn't sure and did not have confidence in how I answered the paper. Even so I got 50 marks...ok la. Lastly, Super shocker was criminal. I did answer all 4 questions but it was simply vague. Well, second highest of all papers..I got 48 for it. Crap lah...I know I can never be a Karpal Singh!!
Well, at least be thankful I passed and now looking forward to 1st year. I know its not gonna be easy so I have to really work my ass off as 1st and 2nd year results will be taken into account for my whole degree.
Having a great weekend ahead in peace and relieved...Might be getting my NZ trip end of the year as promise by my baby if I passed my exams as currently he is there on work. Can't simply wait till then...

Turn the left cheek.......

-10th May 2008
-Saturday
-6.28pm

Exams exams exams....Argg just round the corner! Its actually in another 11 days! Been studying a lot but lately I've gone into a "Slumber" mood! I feel exhausted all the time and my migraine keeps coming back. I guess its just pre - examinations syndrome(PES). Haha. I just pray and hope that exams will turn out ok and that I do not have to repeat my papers next year. Gosh, I'm 22 already and if I have to repeat my papers again all the years, I think by the time I'm 26 I won't even be done with my law degree.
Lately, for no particular reason I've this dream of becoming a MP. I guess RPK ( Raja Petra Kamaruddin) has made me realised that one can make a difference in our country.
I really admire and look highly upon him coz this guy doesn't even have a University degree. Nevertheless, his writing skills and sarcastic remarks on his blog are just beyond words to describe. Oh yeah, lately, James has been visiting me quite often as he flies a lots lately to China. He is always on the go. As per James" I live on a suitcase". As for me, I feel like a widow..haha. A lonely Gf as my bf is always not around. Well, I guess if I want to be his gf then I have to accept the fact that this is the nature of his job.
Criminal law keeps ringing in my head...all the cases, Cox V Riley, DPP V Kay, DPP V Newbury & Jones....arggggg! Gosh, I'm going mad! Even in my sleep I can recite them
God, give me strength! Amen

Valentine's Day...D-Day

-18th February 2008
-Monday
-12.11 am

Sorry again to my friends who actually takes interest in my blog for taking so long to come out with another post. I've been struggling to get a stabble internet connection to the extend of actually trying to curi internet connection from my neighbours(shhhhhh). So that's why I'm always slow in posting a new post. Do forgive me ya peeps.

Last week was first week of classes after the CNY holidays. I was really looking forward to it as I thought my Panda will be coming up to celebrate Valentine's Day with me.(BTW, my panda is back from Spain and is now back in our hometown, Melaka) Well, before I came up to KL last Monday, he promised me that he will be up sometime that week. I was so full of excitement as I really relied on his promise. To cut a long story short, he never turned up. I was sad indeed but actually I was disappointed more than anything else. I wouldn't be so disappointed if he just told me straight to the face that he couldn't make it due to reasons blah blah blah but in fact, I had to ask and feel more disappointed myself.

1) I'm a girl who loves to receive flowers on any type of occassion be it Valentine's Day itself:). Unfortunately, I have a bf who thinks that flowers are a waste of money and doesn't see a point in getting them (Minimize cost) for me unless like he says.."if we have extra money" . Well, a stalk of rose on normal days whould just cost around RM3.00 and for that price you get to make your gf happy. Isn't that well worth your money? I didn't ask for like 999 stalks of roses. A stalk will totally make my day.

2)Come to think about it, I've never celebrated Valentine's day with my Panda before. Not even once. For the 3 years we've been together, I can't quite recall what reasons we had but we've always failed to celebrate it. This year of course you can clearly see why he couldn't make it to celebrate with me(work). Last year, was of course work again(Hong Kong)but fortunately what saved his ass was the swaroszki crystal cross pendant he bought for me which cost HKD 600 which means RM 300. The year before last, I seriously can't quite remember.

3)I've tried to convince myself that Valentine's Day is just a date and that we can celebrate it any day as to us couples who are competely in love, Valentine's Day is everyday .."Love is in the air"! But, I just can't come to terms that it is still a a special day where couples go out to celebrate where they have a nice meal, receive flowers and nice presents. Maybe I'm being very idealistic. Perhaps, I've been brainwashed by all those Valentine's Day adverts and propagandas where people think of Valentine's Day as a day to earn money. As a girl, I think any girl would agree with me that it is still a nice feeling to receive something from the one you love. Unfortunately again, I have a very pragmatic bf who says that presents are only given when we have extra money to buy it and if we buy a present when we don't have the extra money, what are we gonna live on for the rest of the month. I see his point but STILL.....can save what right?

So, that was my perfect V-Day. Fortunately, my best friend being single of course made up to my super sad day by treating me to Chilis at 1 Utama. We had a great time. We had a fajita combo and a caesar salad. To end the "Perfect" day, our dessert was strawberry and mash mallows dipped in a chocolate fountain. We were walking around the concourse area and the chocolate exhabition just caught our eye. We just couldn't resist not having them in our mouth. Hehe.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week again as my Panda PROMISED to make it up to me by coming up. Coincidently, I have no Criminal class this Wed and Thursday so just as well, I can spend more time with him. I'm just so excited. I just hope he doesn't fail me again.