Why do people procrastinate?
Everyone procrastinates to some degree so it's normal but when you've asked someone for something for like 3 -4 times and yet it's not done, it gets kinda irritating to have to keep asking for it. No one likes being nagged and vice versa.
Definition frm Wikipedia
Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.[1] Schraw, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.[2]
Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.
I really don't mind if a person procrastinates because I do it too. We are humans and we are definitely not perfect. Yes, it can be annoying, irritating and frustrating but definitely not anger. However, if the task is really time sensitive and of great importance, it really gets on my nerves but what can I say especially if that person is your love ones. Day by day I just have to remind him and of course he will say yes...yes...yes but the task is never done. Actually it's not even difficult to do it. I used to get really angry but it has now turned into disappointment because I feel what I'm asking can be done within 5 minutes and telling me you are busy is just an excuse. Moreover, what I'm asking will eventually be part of something for you. I wanted to keep it as a surprise but I had to tell you it's for you and I thought by doing so it will speed up the process...I was wrong. How difficult can it be?
I just have to be patient and wait....just wait and wait!
Damn it.......
All I need is just an address to send a card to you. *sobz*
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Brasil, minha segunda casa!!!!
The title translated simply means Brazil, my second home in portuguese.
Amirul and I, we've planned to go back to Brazil in 2014 for the football worldcup which would be held in Brazil. For obvious reasons, he loves football and would die to go back to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the worldcup live. As for me, football isn't my cup of tea but since he has plans to return to Brazil during that time, so why not just tag along as a companion and also to visit all my beloved friends and host families. Oh....for those who doesn't know, Amirul and I were previously exchange students to Brazil in 2004 - 2005 under the Rotary Youth Exchange Programme.
Memories of Brazil still lingers in my mind all the time. The memories are still fresh and I deeply miss my host families. Fortunately, I've met my host sister, Marina twice in Malaysia as she is a air stewardess with Emirates Airlines and will catch every opportunity for a flight to Malaysia to visit me. I've also met with Cibelle, my first English speaking friend in Brazil which became 1 of my closest friend ever. She was doing a backpacking trip in Asia few years back and managed to stop by Malaysia and as usual I played host to her.
I hope to see my other youth exchange friend in Brazil in 2014. Perhaps I shall start contacting them to make sure everyone return to Brazil then and we shall have a mini gathering. The first exchange student that I got to know and eventually became 1 of my closest friend like forever...GEMMA! She was different from others. I immediatelly clicked with her and we did everything on our Northeast Trip for 1 month. I was so happy I managed to visit her in New Zealand last year and we managed to catch up and she brought me round Auckland. We were just so glad we actually got to meet up after 4 years since leaving Brazil.
Hmmmm....Ok that was about Gemma. Next on the list should be about Kofi, from South Africa and Kate from Australia. I missed them alot. Both of them were my besties after the Northeast Trip. We sang in the bus, sat together, hung out together...did everything possible together. Both of them were great friends but sadly after returning to our home country, we hardly keep in contact though both are listed in Fb as my friends. Looks like it's about time to reunite the gang...2014-Brazil seems to be the perfect year, perfect time and perfect place to meet up.
Esti was my best friend in Brazil as she lived in Sao Paulo with me. Kofi and Kate were staying in different states really far away from me so it was quite hard for me to visit them constantly. Both of us did quite alot of activity together, from shopping to sleeping over and etc. Que Saudade (Missing her). Though Indonesia is so near to Malaysia, sadly we never met up too.
Finally, a group of exchange students from various countries during some event we took part. I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone in Brazil in 2014. I guess then will be a good time to meet up as everyone would have graduated and working. I remembered Kofi, Kate and me, the 3 of us had come out with some adventurous plan that we would visit each other in our respective countries and would take turns every year. Hmm....well it's always easy to talk and plan but execution is always the hardest part...
2014...I'm counting down :)
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| Amirul and I at the All American Reject's concert |
 | |||
| Belle and me in front of the then Eye of Malaysia |
 |
| Gemma brought me to One Tree Hill in Auckland |
 |
| Kofi, Kate and me posing in front of the famous Christ the Redeemer in Riode Janeiro |
 |
| Esti from Indonesia |
Esti was my best friend in Brazil as she lived in Sao Paulo with me. Kofi and Kate were staying in different states really far away from me so it was quite hard for me to visit them constantly. Both of us did quite alot of activity together, from shopping to sleeping over and etc. Que Saudade (Missing her). Though Indonesia is so near to Malaysia, sadly we never met up too.
 |
| Exchange students from various contries |
Finally, a group of exchange students from various countries during some event we took part. I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone in Brazil in 2014. I guess then will be a good time to meet up as everyone would have graduated and working. I remembered Kofi, Kate and me, the 3 of us had come out with some adventurous plan that we would visit each other in our respective countries and would take turns every year. Hmm....well it's always easy to talk and plan but execution is always the hardest part...
2014...I'm counting down :)
Monday, September 06, 2010
Coffee, tea or me?
Poems written by Mr. J
Friends and lover...
Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.
1.Love On The Internet
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.
When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.
2.Emotions...
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
Those were the days when J was going after me. Guess he didn't know how to express himself but to blog bout it and to let me stumble accross his blog. I would say this again and again that I'm so blessed to have him in my life as my pillar of strengh, my listening ear where I seek solace and also a place where I can find comfort. Thank you for just being there.
Friends and lover...
Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.
1.Love On The Internet
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.
When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.
2.Emotions...
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
Those were the days when J was going after me. Guess he didn't know how to express himself but to blog bout it and to let me stumble accross his blog. I would say this again and again that I'm so blessed to have him in my life as my pillar of strengh, my listening ear where I seek solace and also a place where I can find comfort. Thank you for just being there.
Espana....my dream honeymoon destination!!!
Funny how I thought of you as I was watching some travelling and cooking show on Spain! I can't help to think about you every single time I see something that is associated with ESPANA! Barcelona, Madrid.....
Every since you worked in Spain for 4 months, I've begun to fantasized of going to Spain to see the wonderful Sagrada da Familia and all the other breathe taking architecture that is of Antonio Gaudi's work. After listening to all the interesting stories of your adventures in Barcelona, Spain, I've begun to completely fall in love with that city, country. Every since going to Brazil and being able to converse in Portuguese, I've always wanted to learn Spanish as it is more widely spoken compared to Portuguese. Perhaps, ESPANA will be the best place... :)
I will never forget Spain as it was the first country you went for work and the longest away from me before New Zealand. You went for 4 months and I thought it was HELL but you never know what surprises may come next. Before I knew it you were going to NZ for 6 months. It was painful..haha..You know there is a saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", I don't know...I feel its more like 'Absence makes the heart more painful". Haha...Now, you have yet gone to another country far far away from me for God knows how long...Yeah yeah think long term as I said in my previous blog post!
Back to Espana, gosh I think I could live there forever...All the wonderful and glorious food! Hmmmmm....Paelas, Tortillas, Hamons and etc...Yum Yum!!
Before I've always wanted Maldives to be my Honeymoon destination but in recent years...Huh I've got myself a new place..*a hint to Mr. Tan* ..Ooops...
Ps:// I love you more and more as the days go by
Every since you worked in Spain for 4 months, I've begun to fantasized of going to Spain to see the wonderful Sagrada da Familia and all the other breathe taking architecture that is of Antonio Gaudi's work. After listening to all the interesting stories of your adventures in Barcelona, Spain, I've begun to completely fall in love with that city, country. Every since going to Brazil and being able to converse in Portuguese, I've always wanted to learn Spanish as it is more widely spoken compared to Portuguese. Perhaps, ESPANA will be the best place... :)
I will never forget Spain as it was the first country you went for work and the longest away from me before New Zealand. You went for 4 months and I thought it was HELL but you never know what surprises may come next. Before I knew it you were going to NZ for 6 months. It was painful..haha..You know there is a saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", I don't know...I feel its more like 'Absence makes the heart more painful". Haha...Now, you have yet gone to another country far far away from me for God knows how long...Yeah yeah think long term as I said in my previous blog post!
Back to Espana, gosh I think I could live there forever...All the wonderful and glorious food! Hmmmmm....Paelas, Tortillas, Hamons and etc...Yum Yum!!
Before I've always wanted Maldives to be my Honeymoon destination but in recent years...Huh I've got myself a new place..
Ps:// I love you more and more as the days go by
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Everyday I love you
I've been sick for almost 2 weeks...I don't know why the cough and sore throat just hasn't gone way! I think my life has gone from boring to dull...far beyond dull i think. My daily routine is just work, home, watching movies and sleep. Not much of a life huh...I guess not much for my final year.
I can't stop thinking bout you everyday. I know we've always been apart such as Mlk and KL but this year we've always seen each other every fort night and so I feel kinda off the track knowing that you are so far away. I can't seem to put my emotions right. It's only almost 2 weeks but I feel like it has been 2 years what more another 10 months...gosh I can't wait.
Baby, the only thing I look forward to everyday is the time when we speak on the phone or chat on the MSN. *emo* sial.
I'm just glad that you are back to work and you said that you are doing this for our future...so yeah I got to sacrifice all this shitty emotions of mine and think long term.
Ps:// I love you!!!!!
I can't stop thinking bout you everyday. I know we've always been apart such as Mlk and KL but this year we've always seen each other every fort night and so I feel kinda off the track knowing that you are so far away. I can't seem to put my emotions right. It's only almost 2 weeks but I feel like it has been 2 years what more another 10 months...gosh I can't wait.
Baby, the only thing I look forward to everyday is the time when we speak on the phone or chat on the MSN. *emo* sial.
I'm just glad that you are back to work and you said that you are doing this for our future...so yeah I got to sacrifice all this shitty emotions of mine and think long term.
Ps:// I love you!!!!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Nevereverland
Don't really have the mood to blog about anything. Being sick is no joke! Having a really bad throat and cough as well. I didn't have much sleep yesterday. Sigh! I miss you dear! Yes, even though it is just a phone call away but it's not the same not having you around so easily ie: to fix my comp, to sycn my ipod, to check my phone and just messing round with all the electronic gadgets. I'm not saying I don't know how to do it myself. It's just that you've always enjoyed doing it and I rely so much on you that now you are not here, things just seems different.
I hope that you settle down soon and your work will go smoothly. Don't stress too much k. I will here anytime you need someone to talk to. I can't wait for next year when I get to meet you. Though it's almost a week since you left and I'm already thinking about next year. Haha..Can't wait to graduate then we can do so many things together such as my long awaited road trip :)
I Love you!
I hope that you settle down soon and your work will go smoothly. Don't stress too much k. I will here anytime you need someone to talk to. I can't wait for next year when I get to meet you. Though it's almost a week since you left and I'm already thinking about next year. Haha..Can't wait to graduate then we can do so many things together such as my long awaited road trip :)
I Love you!
Monday, August 30, 2010
IT IS YOU!!!
IT IS YOU!!!
YES.....IT IS YOU~~~~~
IT IS YOU!!!!
YES.....IT IS YOU~~~~~
IT IS YOU!!!!
ps:// Stop speculating and being in denial of the truth.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The betrayer of my feelings
I've been too nice! Yes, I have. I defended you when everyone shunned and spoke ill of you. I told them that perhaps if they got to know you better, they would have had a different perspective of you. I was there for you when you had relationship problems, when you just needed a listening ear and just someone to talk to. I was there when you were at your worst, when you were stressed and when you just needed to come over to see me. I supported you all the way by encouraging you even though I disagreed with certain things you were doing.
I treated you as a friend! I genuinely thought that I could equally share my darkest and deepest secrets with you and not be judged by you behind my back. You think you could hold me in your fist and control me by confirming gossips about me and perhaps even spreading them? To Ms. X, if you wanted to be two-faced, at least make one pretty but unfortunately with that bubbly nose of yours, stop thinking you are that hot and way smarter than others. You even despise others who do better than you in exams. We are all friends! You should be happy for them. Common...wake up la!!! I wonder if your bf even knows of your behaviour and character. It's a disgusting habit of yours to gossip.
During my birthday party some years back, you made my organiser think that everyone won't be attending as you couldn't attend. What were you thinking? Am I really a threat that you had to make sure everyone wouldn't be able to attend? Subsequently, you had the nerves to go round gossiping about me. Do you think I would care how people would think about me? I've come to accept myself for who I am. So tell me, im so curious, what do you gain from spreading gossips about me? Self satisfaction or just to boost your self-esteem? I find that only people with low self-esteem will go to that extend to speak ill about a person just to make themself feel better. To gain power over a person...
I felt betrayed!!! I thought you were my friend. A sincere friend per say. It hurts that you were capable of doing such a thing to me just because you could. I made a wrong decision by trusting you when everyone warned me. I disregarded others for you. You know what? I'm numb now as I don't feel anything for you. Loosing you as a friend donesn't mean anything to me as I can assume that you never sincerely cared and treated me as a friend. You were always there so you could digged more of my secrets and use them against me. From now on, you have no power over me..I feel liberated! Yes..pls don't even dare to come into my life and try to be nice and all as now I know your true colours.
I'm not going to harp and dwell about you in my blog as you don't worth that much glory to be even in my blog post. What I can say for now is that you seriously lack self-esteem. Please do something about it if not you shall be loosing people close to you. Take time to realise all your wrong doings before it is too late!!
I treated you as a friend! I genuinely thought that I could equally share my darkest and deepest secrets with you and not be judged by you behind my back. You think you could hold me in your fist and control me by confirming gossips about me and perhaps even spreading them? To Ms. X, if you wanted to be two-faced, at least make one pretty but unfortunately with that bubbly nose of yours, stop thinking you are that hot and way smarter than others. You even despise others who do better than you in exams. We are all friends! You should be happy for them. Common...wake up la!!! I wonder if your bf even knows of your behaviour and character. It's a disgusting habit of yours to gossip.
During my birthday party some years back, you made my organiser think that everyone won't be attending as you couldn't attend. What were you thinking? Am I really a threat that you had to make sure everyone wouldn't be able to attend? Subsequently, you had the nerves to go round gossiping about me. Do you think I would care how people would think about me? I've come to accept myself for who I am. So tell me, im so curious, what do you gain from spreading gossips about me? Self satisfaction or just to boost your self-esteem? I find that only people with low self-esteem will go to that extend to speak ill about a person just to make themself feel better. To gain power over a person...
I felt betrayed!!! I thought you were my friend. A sincere friend per say. It hurts that you were capable of doing such a thing to me just because you could. I made a wrong decision by trusting you when everyone warned me. I disregarded others for you. You know what? I'm numb now as I don't feel anything for you. Loosing you as a friend donesn't mean anything to me as I can assume that you never sincerely cared and treated me as a friend. You were always there so you could digged more of my secrets and use them against me. From now on, you have no power over me..I feel liberated! Yes..pls don't even dare to come into my life and try to be nice and all as now I know your true colours.
I'm not going to harp and dwell about you in my blog as you don't worth that much glory to be even in my blog post. What I can say for now is that you seriously lack self-esteem. Please do something about it if not you shall be loosing people close to you. Take time to realise all your wrong doings before it is too late!!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Cherries....cherries & cherries
I will try to blog every single day so you won't miss out on my everyday life back here in Malaysia. Though you might be far far away but when we both look up into the sky, out hearts are actually beating as one. *aiyo so cheesy*.
The distance and the fact I won't be seeing you for 10 months hasn't kicked in yet. I still feel fine. Haha. To be honest, I was more esthetic bout my results which I knew on Tuesday morning the day u left. I guess I got caught up with the results rather than feeling sad that you were leaving.
The very day you left, I fell sick. I was coughing non stop and found it very difficult to breathe. Today, I'm having a very bad throat and feeling feverish. My whole body is aching. I guess I'm coming down with a fever. Friends say this is call love sick...Haha.
I was worried sick bout you today! I prayed so hard whilst driving to work with shaky hands. I'm just relieved that you are fine and that everything will be ok.
I can't wait to visit you. Hence the title of this post...Cherries came to mind!
Love you and I can't wait for classes to start and join the rest of my fellow warriors to battle. This year we will strive in our studies and get even better results :)
The distance and the fact I won't be seeing you for 10 months hasn't kicked in yet. I still feel fine. Haha. To be honest, I was more esthetic bout my results which I knew on Tuesday morning the day u left. I guess I got caught up with the results rather than feeling sad that you were leaving.
The very day you left, I fell sick. I was coughing non stop and found it very difficult to breathe. Today, I'm having a very bad throat and feeling feverish. My whole body is aching. I guess I'm coming down with a fever. Friends say this is call love sick...Haha.
I was worried sick bout you today! I prayed so hard whilst driving to work with shaky hands. I'm just relieved that you are fine and that everything will be ok.
I can't wait to visit you. Hence the title of this post...Cherries came to mind!
Love you and I can't wait for classes to start and join the rest of my fellow warriors to battle. This year we will strive in our studies and get even better results :)
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Cupcakes.bananas.chocolates & you
I realized I've not blogged for almost 1 and a half years and didn't even give much thought to the existence of my blog. Somehow instead of studying today, I spend the whole day reading minishorts . I find much joy in just reading each of her post. I prefer her blog to other blogs such as Ringo (Cheesy) and smashpop. I do not seem to understand the need of cam whoring with all those lala outfit and make up and also the use of broken English. I agree that my English is not 100% perfect either but at least I don't brag and boast about myself. I like minishorts as her entries are original, meaningful, intellectual and partly because I feel I can really connect to what she writes.
This year we will make the big 5 years together. Of course, ours is actually a very normal relationship. Slowly the ferocious flames of 'just-in-love' slows down, and the huge bonfire is now a calm flame giving just enough light to warm up our lives. Corny I know, but I'll also say this. It's not easy to keep the flame going. In recent months, it's getting harder to tolerate his idiosyncrasies, and I quite believe he feels the same way too. However, I know the fact is that we still love each other to bits.
Some people wonder why I put up with James, and likewise I wonder why he puts up with me. I know in our heads, we are Mr. right and Ms. right. I know, he wants an independent and confident girl who does not cry all the time or calls every few hours in a day and one who will often agree with every thing he says with no questions ask. Unfortunately, I'm strong-headed, very self opinionated, inquisitive, egoistic on the outside( which Chinese doesn't want face) but on the inside very emotional and crumbles easily. Apparently, I'm argumentative as well...
Truth to be told, relationships are just like roads. The new roads are smooth, squeaky clean and definitely an easy way to drive on but once it comes 5 years like ours, it will have potholes, gravels & sand and it will be such a bitch to just drive on it. The only way is to repave the road and go from there. The analogy of the road gives me great meaning. Our repaving of the road took place this year with deeper meaning and more promises and commitment to make it work.
I know this man, right now, he's just right for me. I'm not sure if he's going to be just right for me forever, but I do hope so. I have bigger plans for the future with him and through God we shall be there to the end of this road.
Darling, as our relationship matures, it is just like wine as it gets better and better through time. I pray that we will always remember our "2005 vintage" as it will be better and stronger as time passes.
This year we will make the big 5 years together. Of course, ours is actually a very normal relationship. Slowly the ferocious flames of 'just-in-love' slows down, and the huge bonfire is now a calm flame giving just enough light to warm up our lives. Corny I know, but I'll also say this. It's not easy to keep the flame going. In recent months, it's getting harder to tolerate his idiosyncrasies, and I quite believe he feels the same way too. However, I know the fact is that we still love each other to bits.
Some people wonder why I put up with James, and likewise I wonder why he puts up with me. I know in our heads, we are Mr. right and Ms. right. I know, he wants an independent and confident girl who does not cry all the time or calls every few hours in a day and one who will often agree with every thing he says with no questions ask. Unfortunately, I'm strong-headed, very self opinionated, inquisitive, egoistic on the outside( which Chinese doesn't want face) but on the inside very emotional and crumbles easily. Apparently, I'm argumentative as well...
Truth to be told, relationships are just like roads. The new roads are smooth, squeaky clean and definitely an easy way to drive on but once it comes 5 years like ours, it will have potholes, gravels & sand and it will be such a bitch to just drive on it. The only way is to repave the road and go from there. The analogy of the road gives me great meaning. Our repaving of the road took place this year with deeper meaning and more promises and commitment to make it work.
I know this man, right now, he's just right for me. I'm not sure if he's going to be just right for me forever, but I do hope so. I have bigger plans for the future with him and through God we shall be there to the end of this road.
Darling, as our relationship matures, it is just like wine as it gets better and better through time. I pray that we will always remember our "2005 vintage" as it will be better and stronger as time passes.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Driveless
-5th February 2009
-Thursday
-11.53pm
Another day has come to an end. Back in KL currently but I'm still having the new year mood. This year or rather for the past 6 months, I just attended class like a robot, went for tutorials as usual but how much I actually absorbed into my brain is a different issue. I didn't do any assignments and sometimes skipped a few classes. I am lazy this whole term and driveless as well. I have no push and drive to do anything.
Exams are in May and honestly I don't really have much time left but still I feel darn lazy to open the books to study. Sometimes thinking bout the exam fees does scare me...paid RM 4 K plus for it and tuition fees for 1 year is RM 5.5 K. With that in mind, I guess I should really study and not waste that money.
I was happy and contented beginning of last year till my exams as J was always or most of the time by my side. His trips to China and HK usually were 2 to 3 weeks max and he will be with me another 2 to 3 weeks or more before he flies to his next destination. I was happy with that arrangement. My mind was free from missing him and I was happily doing my revision while waiting for his return.
I know I sound pathetic because everything about me revolves around only J...J...and J. It's not really true but I would say my life would just crumble without J. Ever since J started working in NZ, I knew my life and our relationship was going to take a terrible turn. J has never ever stayed in any country for such a long period of time and being girls..like they say girls intuition, I knew that somehow J was going to be there for a very long time and no doubt J mentioned the other day he might need to be in NZ for at least 1 to 2 years. My whole life crashed as soon I heard that. I kept quiet but I was crying. I was in grieve. I am too now as I blog. I don't know how I am going to pull through my exams but I just got to.
-Thursday
-11.53pm
Another day has come to an end. Back in KL currently but I'm still having the new year mood. This year or rather for the past 6 months, I just attended class like a robot, went for tutorials as usual but how much I actually absorbed into my brain is a different issue. I didn't do any assignments and sometimes skipped a few classes. I am lazy this whole term and driveless as well. I have no push and drive to do anything.
Exams are in May and honestly I don't really have much time left but still I feel darn lazy to open the books to study. Sometimes thinking bout the exam fees does scare me...paid RM 4 K plus for it and tuition fees for 1 year is RM 5.5 K. With that in mind, I guess I should really study and not waste that money.
I was happy and contented beginning of last year till my exams as J was always or most of the time by my side. His trips to China and HK usually were 2 to 3 weeks max and he will be with me another 2 to 3 weeks or more before he flies to his next destination. I was happy with that arrangement. My mind was free from missing him and I was happily doing my revision while waiting for his return.
I know I sound pathetic because everything about me revolves around only J...J...and J. It's not really true but I would say my life would just crumble without J. Ever since J started working in NZ, I knew my life and our relationship was going to take a terrible turn. J has never ever stayed in any country for such a long period of time and being girls..like they say girls intuition, I knew that somehow J was going to be there for a very long time and no doubt J mentioned the other day he might need to be in NZ for at least 1 to 2 years. My whole life crashed as soon I heard that. I kept quiet but I was crying. I was in grieve. I am too now as I blog. I don't know how I am going to pull through my exams but I just got to.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Depression
-2nd February 2009
-Monday
-5.03pm
I'm so bored back home in Melaka but hey, I get to save lots by eating at home and not paying for anything when we go out to eat. It just dawned on me today why lately I've been putting on back my weight again is perhaps I'm just sad. For the last six month after J left for NZ, I put on the kilos slowly by slowly.First it was 1 kg then 2 kilos fluctuating between there and now after the NZ trip I lost 2 kilos then now New Year and I weigh myself today and got a shock. I'm 58 kilos. OMG! I used to weigh 51 kilos during my secondary school days and after graduation, I started to put on weight till around 57 kilos. Later, I went on a Youth Exchange Programme to Brazil for 1 year and before I knew it, I came home weighing around 63 kilos. I thought I could loose weight again but somehow the good food in Malaysia made me even fatter till 65 kilos. Occasionally, my weight would fluctuate all the way till 67 kilos. Then, I decided I am not going to live like this forever. I wanted to look good, I wanted to be able to get clothes easier, I wanted to make my bf proud to have a beautiful gf so I got myself into a slimming programme as soon as I got to KL to study.
It was then I slowly shed the kilos and after around 8 months I was weighing 52 kilos and I thought I was the happiest person on earth. I gained self confidence and I could just walk into a shop and getting clothes was much easier. My weight fluctuated to around 54 to 55 kilos and I was still quite happy with it. Then it all started when I had exam stress and J left for NZ my weight would fluctuate up and down. I went for treatment regularly but I know I did not have any more discipline. I was depressed, stressed, sad and just down all the time. Food was my only way of comfort and happiness. After my NZ trip I was like 58.7. I was shocked to the maximum. I went for treatment and came out at the weight of 57.6 kilos. I finally dropped to 57 kilos but who can imagine Chinese New Year was just round the corner. Aiyo, now I dare not even try to weigh myself. I drank the slimming coffee everyday without fail till I got my nose bleed as it is quite heaty. I didn't eat carbo at night and I ate so much fruits and vegetables but still I have no idea how I was able to put on weight. Pathetic !!!!
As soon as I go back to KL , I need to be really on crash diet. I don't want to go back being the old me though J likes me that way better (he said better to hug) but I don't care. I'm doing it for myself.
-Monday
-5.03pm
I'm so bored back home in Melaka but hey, I get to save lots by eating at home and not paying for anything when we go out to eat. It just dawned on me today why lately I've been putting on back my weight again is perhaps I'm just sad. For the last six month after J left for NZ, I put on the kilos slowly by slowly.First it was 1 kg then 2 kilos fluctuating between there and now after the NZ trip I lost 2 kilos then now New Year and I weigh myself today and got a shock. I'm 58 kilos. OMG! I used to weigh 51 kilos during my secondary school days and after graduation, I started to put on weight till around 57 kilos. Later, I went on a Youth Exchange Programme to Brazil for 1 year and before I knew it, I came home weighing around 63 kilos. I thought I could loose weight again but somehow the good food in Malaysia made me even fatter till 65 kilos. Occasionally, my weight would fluctuate all the way till 67 kilos. Then, I decided I am not going to live like this forever. I wanted to look good, I wanted to be able to get clothes easier, I wanted to make my bf proud to have a beautiful gf so I got myself into a slimming programme as soon as I got to KL to study.
It was then I slowly shed the kilos and after around 8 months I was weighing 52 kilos and I thought I was the happiest person on earth. I gained self confidence and I could just walk into a shop and getting clothes was much easier. My weight fluctuated to around 54 to 55 kilos and I was still quite happy with it. Then it all started when I had exam stress and J left for NZ my weight would fluctuate up and down. I went for treatment regularly but I know I did not have any more discipline. I was depressed, stressed, sad and just down all the time. Food was my only way of comfort and happiness. After my NZ trip I was like 58.7. I was shocked to the maximum. I went for treatment and came out at the weight of 57.6 kilos. I finally dropped to 57 kilos but who can imagine Chinese New Year was just round the corner. Aiyo, now I dare not even try to weigh myself. I drank the slimming coffee everyday without fail till I got my nose bleed as it is quite heaty. I didn't eat carbo at night and I ate so much fruits and vegetables but still I have no idea how I was able to put on weight. Pathetic !!!!
As soon as I go back to KL , I need to be really on crash diet. I don't want to go back being the old me though J likes me that way better (he said better to hug) but I don't care. I'm doing it for myself.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Hot & Cold
-30th January 2008
-Friday
-3.12 am
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
by James Tan
J doesn't do this kinda lovey dovey romantic stuff for me anymore :( No more loving smses or messages. After 6 months of the relationship guys usually change. Time flies, it's been 3 years and 4 months and we are still standing strong in this relationship. As J said, all we need is faith..yes faith! However, sometimes the distance is really killing me inside. So, whatever...one thing I would dearly wish for is for time to go back to 3 years and 4 months ago :)
Thanks baby for getting the DKNY perfume and the Ipod touch as my Christmas Pressie. Not forgetting the NZD 500 gift voucher from Max to spend. Love you lots.
-Friday
-3.12 am
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
by James Tan
J doesn't do this kinda lovey dovey romantic stuff for me anymore :( No more loving smses or messages. After 6 months of the relationship guys usually change. Time flies, it's been 3 years and 4 months and we are still standing strong in this relationship. As J said, all we need is faith..yes faith! However, sometimes the distance is really killing me inside. So, whatever...one thing I would dearly wish for is for time to go back to 3 years and 4 months ago :)
Thanks baby for getting the DKNY perfume and the Ipod touch as my Christmas Pressie. Not forgetting the NZD 500 gift voucher from Max to spend. Love you lots.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
You & I both
-28th January 2009
-Wednesday
-2.51pm
I'm bored...seriously bored. 3rd day of new year and I'm bored! Imagine! Fortunately I predicted I would be bored back in Melaka and hence I brought my Lappie home with my maxis 3G broadband. New Year was slightly more excited than usual.
Denise Keller was here with us. Haha. Yes, DENISE KELLER! Please don't be envious. She is my cousin....Her Granny and my granny are sisters. She was filming a documentary on Melaka and also CNY and finding her roots back in Mlk. Her programme will be aired on Discovery Travel roughly end of March on channel 707 on Astro. Pls do watch it. As usual, filming is not easy. Whole family had to pretend sitting around talking, laughing and do the usual tea ceremony. I pity the most is the lion dance troop. The had to literally perform the dance for 3 times. The main guy that was leading the dance and holding the head was sweating profusely. Hey but to compensate we did give them a VERY BIG ANG PAU - RM 280.00. So now I'm a star..glamour konon. Haha.
As usual did the normal family visitation in the afternoon on the first day and night I went out with friends. Did some catching up and stuff & second time konon glamour was I got to shake Melaka Chief Minister's hand - Dato Ali Rustam ( The most corrupted minister in Malaysia)....pls don't sue me for defamation. lol. It's a fact!!!!!
Second day, visited my future MIL. Haha. She cooked lunch for me. 4 dishes somore for just the 2 of us. According to her, James called her and told her when I visit please cook more in order for me to be FATTER. ( Hate that concept). Guys are weird..rather my bf is weird. He seems to like my older self when i was so much fatter. Anyway, back to MIL story. It was so much fun to be there. MIL told me James was such a rascal and mischievous boy while growing up. He used to be so hard headed and naughty. One very interesting conversation between mother and son during James last trip back which MIL told me.
J: Mummy, you don't know my gf very cheong hei ( Long winded) oh..
M: Very good oh! You don't want to listen to mummy so God gave you a cheong hei gf.
J: Oh mummy, so like that la...not siding me also..lol.
When I heard that I burst into laughter. Well, seems MIL likes me very much. Me happy :)Another crucial information found out...James can COOK!! What? He always asked me to cook this cook that for him when he is back and now...haha. I am going to make sure he COOKS for me. *Evil laughter*
Chinese New Year this year just seems different without J around. J is in NZ and V is in Malaysia. To me there are 3 occasions that are not to be missed. 1) Birthday, 2) Christmas & 3) Chinese New Year. Every single occasion represents a different meaning in my heart. Firstly, birthdays are important because is the day you grow 1 year older and I love celebrating it with my close ones. Yes, some ppl do say that it's just another day in a year and age is only a number. Another reason is coz my birthday and J's birthday is only 3 days apart and we have been celebrating every year together for the past 3 years and this year will be our 4th together but I know J won't be able to celebrate with me this year coz he needs to work in NZ. Secondly, Christmas is also the time to celebrate it with close and love ones. We go to church, sing christmas carols and pray together. Thirdly, Chinese New Year is a time where you get to have a gathering with our family and have a wonderful meal together. We talk, laugh, joke and just crap anything. We not only eat , eat and eat, we also show our respect towards elders by going on visitations and of course collecting ANG PAU. *smiles*. I love all these 3 occasions coz it's all surrounded by love and care for one another with love ones. J is not here and it makes a big difference to me. It's a quiet new year without J with me.
Anyway, I've not even blog bout my NZ trip last month. Guess I won't but I will upload a couple of pics here...
This is a very random pic but I simply loved it. It's just like a poster pic or introduction scene from series like The Practice..."Previously on The BAC Entourage".
Our very own version of The Practice...lol
-Wednesday
-2.51pm
I'm bored...seriously bored. 3rd day of new year and I'm bored! Imagine! Fortunately I predicted I would be bored back in Melaka and hence I brought my Lappie home with my maxis 3G broadband. New Year was slightly more excited than usual.
Denise Keller was here with us. Haha. Yes, DENISE KELLER! Please don't be envious. She is my cousin....Her Granny and my granny are sisters. She was filming a documentary on Melaka and also CNY and finding her roots back in Mlk. Her programme will be aired on Discovery Travel roughly end of March on channel 707 on Astro. Pls do watch it. As usual, filming is not easy. Whole family had to pretend sitting around talking, laughing and do the usual tea ceremony. I pity the most is the lion dance troop. The had to literally perform the dance for 3 times. The main guy that was leading the dance and holding the head was sweating profusely. Hey but to compensate we did give them a VERY BIG ANG PAU - RM 280.00. So now I'm a star..glamour konon. Haha.
As usual did the normal family visitation in the afternoon on the first day and night I went out with friends. Did some catching up and stuff & second time konon glamour was I got to shake Melaka Chief Minister's hand - Dato Ali Rustam ( The most corrupted minister in Malaysia)....pls don't sue me for defamation. lol. It's a fact!!!!!
Second day, visited my future MIL. Haha. She cooked lunch for me. 4 dishes somore for just the 2 of us. According to her, James called her and told her when I visit please cook more in order for me to be FATTER. ( Hate that concept). Guys are weird..rather my bf is weird. He seems to like my older self when i was so much fatter. Anyway, back to MIL story. It was so much fun to be there. MIL told me James was such a rascal and mischievous boy while growing up. He used to be so hard headed and naughty. One very interesting conversation between mother and son during James last trip back which MIL told me.
J: Mummy, you don't know my gf very cheong hei ( Long winded) oh..
M: Very good oh! You don't want to listen to mummy so God gave you a cheong hei gf.
J: Oh mummy, so like that la...not siding me also..lol.
When I heard that I burst into laughter. Well, seems MIL likes me very much. Me happy :)Another crucial information found out...James can COOK!! What? He always asked me to cook this cook that for him when he is back and now...haha. I am going to make sure he COOKS for me. *Evil laughter*
Chinese New Year this year just seems different without J around. J is in NZ and V is in Malaysia. To me there are 3 occasions that are not to be missed. 1) Birthday, 2) Christmas & 3) Chinese New Year. Every single occasion represents a different meaning in my heart. Firstly, birthdays are important because is the day you grow 1 year older and I love celebrating it with my close ones. Yes, some ppl do say that it's just another day in a year and age is only a number. Another reason is coz my birthday and J's birthday is only 3 days apart and we have been celebrating every year together for the past 3 years and this year will be our 4th together but I know J won't be able to celebrate with me this year coz he needs to work in NZ. Secondly, Christmas is also the time to celebrate it with close and love ones. We go to church, sing christmas carols and pray together. Thirdly, Chinese New Year is a time where you get to have a gathering with our family and have a wonderful meal together. We talk, laugh, joke and just crap anything. We not only eat , eat and eat, we also show our respect towards elders by going on visitations and of course collecting ANG PAU. *smiles*. I love all these 3 occasions coz it's all surrounded by love and care for one another with love ones. J is not here and it makes a big difference to me. It's a quiet new year without J with me.
Anyway, I've not even blog bout my NZ trip last month. Guess I won't but I will upload a couple of pics here...
This is a very random pic but I simply loved it. It's just like a poster pic or introduction scene from series like The Practice..."Previously on The BAC Entourage".
Our very own version of The Practice...lol
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Lousy moments......
-19 November 2008
-Wednesday
-12.40 am
I'm still feeling lousy but of course much better compared to few days back.
Arggggg....how does one get rid of those kinda feelings inside? For sure I know I will never be able to get rid of it 100%. I just feel like chilling at home not doing anything. Lie in the whole day and laze at home. Unfortunately, I can't. Morning need to work then head off for dinner with Virata and gang at Cheras. It's gonna be another long and tiring day....:)
December isn't far off...finally my flight tickets are settled. The thing is I'm flying with Qantas and need to board the plane from Singapore and transit at Melbourne for freaking 10 hours then head off to Auckland. I'm still contemplating if I should actually get out of Melbourne Airport for some sight-seeing...hmmmmm? James-Auckland-Christchurch dieing to see you...Xoxox...
My name...Vera Tay if you say it fast it does sound like Virata actually.
Went clubbing last Sat at this superb club call twenty.one and Virata's friends were like ohh so finally we get to meet the girl who shares the same name as Virata.. *watever*
-Wednesday
-12.40 am
I'm still feeling lousy but of course much better compared to few days back.
Arggggg....how does one get rid of those kinda feelings inside? For sure I know I will never be able to get rid of it 100%. I just feel like chilling at home not doing anything. Lie in the whole day and laze at home. Unfortunately, I can't. Morning need to work then head off for dinner with Virata and gang at Cheras. It's gonna be another long and tiring day....:)
December isn't far off...finally my flight tickets are settled. The thing is I'm flying with Qantas and need to board the plane from Singapore and transit at Melbourne for freaking 10 hours then head off to Auckland. I'm still contemplating if I should actually get out of Melbourne Airport for some sight-seeing...hmmmmm? James-Auckland-Christchurch dieing to see you...Xoxox...
My name...Vera Tay if you say it fast it does sound like Virata actually.
Went clubbing last Sat at this superb club call twenty.one and Virata's friends were like ohh so finally we get to meet the girl who shares the same name as Virata.. *watever*
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Shit happenssss....
-17 November 2008
-Monday
- 11.58 pm
When shit happens, no matter how and what we try to untangle the mess, it can never work so easily. As for me, I will take days, weeks, months before I eventually figure what I should do to clear this off my mind. I feel lousy, I feel happy, I feel excited, I feel down, I feel confused......
When I think about it, I feel happy, there is this glow in my face but deep down I doubt myself now. I'm unsure about everything I've plan. I never thought such a thing could happen to me. However, part me of never regretted it.
I can't stop thinking bout it till today. I wake up I ponder about it. I start to think maybe I shouldn't had done it or maybe I should have....I can only say that since stuff happened, we can only make the best out of it now. :)
Conclusion, at least for a moment, I felt different and had that tinge of happiness.
A burden is off my shoulder now....sigh of relieve!!!
LIFE still has to go on. It's difficult but I will pass it with flying colours
Ps: For those who loves watching Gossip Girl, FYI I love Dan Humphrey and Serena...
Certainly can't stand Chuck Bass..:)
-Monday
- 11.58 pm
When shit happens, no matter how and what we try to untangle the mess, it can never work so easily. As for me, I will take days, weeks, months before I eventually figure what I should do to clear this off my mind. I feel lousy, I feel happy, I feel excited, I feel down, I feel confused......
When I think about it, I feel happy, there is this glow in my face but deep down I doubt myself now. I'm unsure about everything I've plan. I never thought such a thing could happen to me. However, part me of never regretted it.
I can't stop thinking bout it till today. I wake up I ponder about it. I start to think maybe I shouldn't had done it or maybe I should have....I can only say that since stuff happened, we can only make the best out of it now. :)
Conclusion, at least for a moment, I felt different and had that tinge of happiness.
A burden is off my shoulder now....sigh of relieve!!!
LIFE still has to go on. It's difficult but I will pass it with flying colours
Ps: For those who loves watching Gossip Girl, FYI I love Dan Humphrey and Serena...
Certainly can't stand Chuck Bass..:)
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Crappy bus service
-16th October 2008
-Thursday
-11.22pm
Exhausted from such a tiring day. Today got really cheated by this stupid bus company named METRO bus. It all started when I decided to take the metro bus to college instead of my usual Rapid KL bus as I was catching the bus from Curve instead of 1U.
First event that shocked me was when I told the bus conductor my destination was KL central , immediately he said RM2.50. I was really shocked. The usual Rapid KL bus only charges RM2.00 for a whole day pass where else Metro's ticket is only Valid for a single trip. Nonetheless, I paid for the ticket without even trying to argue with him. No wonder Metro does not have as many passengers as compared to Rapid KL. Secondly,
on the way towards KL central, I over heard the bus conductor telling another passenger something like that they would bypass KL central's stop all together as it is very jammed during that hour. Next I knew, they took a short cut and stopped at Pasar Seni. I was so mad. Now, they charged me RM2.50 for going to Kl central and instead I had to go down at Pasar Seni and take a LRT to Kl central that cost me RM 1.00. All the hassle and instead of spending the usual RM 2.00 for transportation a day, I ended up spending RM 3.50 to go to college and another RM 2.10 to go home to Kelana Jaya as I was meeting my dad there.
Regarding Metro bus, I was furious. The promised destination was KL central and they dropped me off at Pasar Seni and I paid RM 2.50. That is really a breached of contract. How can they just tell the passengers that just because its jam so they would bypass that stop. They can't just act according to their wimps and fancy. I almost told the conductor off but because I was already running late I gave that a miss. So unreliable. Actually, before I even boarded the bus, I gave a thought whether I wanted to that the risk of taking Metro since they are so not reliable but like I because I was running late and afraid that the Rapid Bus would take some time thats why I took the risk...Never again....
For those who always takes METRO, I suggest you take Rapid KL in future as Metro is not only unreliable but they CHEATED me!!!! I feel so cheated!! Cheh.....
-Thursday
-11.22pm
Exhausted from such a tiring day. Today got really cheated by this stupid bus company named METRO bus. It all started when I decided to take the metro bus to college instead of my usual Rapid KL bus as I was catching the bus from Curve instead of 1U.
First event that shocked me was when I told the bus conductor my destination was KL central , immediately he said RM2.50. I was really shocked. The usual Rapid KL bus only charges RM2.00 for a whole day pass where else Metro's ticket is only Valid for a single trip. Nonetheless, I paid for the ticket without even trying to argue with him. No wonder Metro does not have as many passengers as compared to Rapid KL. Secondly,
on the way towards KL central, I over heard the bus conductor telling another passenger something like that they would bypass KL central's stop all together as it is very jammed during that hour. Next I knew, they took a short cut and stopped at Pasar Seni. I was so mad. Now, they charged me RM2.50 for going to Kl central and instead I had to go down at Pasar Seni and take a LRT to Kl central that cost me RM 1.00. All the hassle and instead of spending the usual RM 2.00 for transportation a day, I ended up spending RM 3.50 to go to college and another RM 2.10 to go home to Kelana Jaya as I was meeting my dad there.
Regarding Metro bus, I was furious. The promised destination was KL central and they dropped me off at Pasar Seni and I paid RM 2.50. That is really a breached of contract. How can they just tell the passengers that just because its jam so they would bypass that stop. They can't just act according to their wimps and fancy. I almost told the conductor off but because I was already running late I gave that a miss. So unreliable. Actually, before I even boarded the bus, I gave a thought whether I wanted to that the risk of taking Metro since they are so not reliable but like I because I was running late and afraid that the Rapid Bus would take some time thats why I took the risk...Never again....
For those who always takes METRO, I suggest you take Rapid KL in future as Metro is not only unreliable but they CHEATED me!!!! I feel so cheated!! Cheh.....
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sluggish & Lazy days
-14th October 2008
-Tuesday
-11.56 am
It's Tuesday & I feel so Saturdayish. Perhaps after taken a rest on Sunday and Monday, this is what happens. Feeling all lazy and dread the thought of going to college for Land and Trust tutorial and then Trust lectures. I have totally full schedule on Tuesdays which starts from 2.15pm to 3.45pm for Land tutorial, 4.00pm to 5.30pm for Trust tutorial, break 1 hour and finally 6.30pm to 9.30pm Trust lectures. What a tiring day ahead! Sigh.....
Just something happy to share. Just confirmed that instead of only going to Auckland,NZ to visit James, we've also planned to celebrate new years at Christchurch.
Well, since my best friends cousin lives over there, they actually invited us to visit the newly wed couple. I just can't wait. At first, I thought I would only be stuck in Auckland, North Island but now my dreams have come true and we will be able to fly in to the South Island as well. Eager for shopping, sigh-seeing, touring and of course spending Christmas and new years with my dear.
Of course before all this, lots of lectures and tutorials to overcome. I'm sure I can do it. Sometimes, just wish I had Hiro Nakamura's powers then I can bring myself to the future, make time go faster and even fly myself to NZ for free...haha.
I wouldn't need an air ticket of course...perhaps I need Mana too!!
-Tuesday
-11.56 am
It's Tuesday & I feel so Saturdayish. Perhaps after taken a rest on Sunday and Monday, this is what happens. Feeling all lazy and dread the thought of going to college for Land and Trust tutorial and then Trust lectures. I have totally full schedule on Tuesdays which starts from 2.15pm to 3.45pm for Land tutorial, 4.00pm to 5.30pm for Trust tutorial, break 1 hour and finally 6.30pm to 9.30pm Trust lectures. What a tiring day ahead! Sigh.....
Just something happy to share. Just confirmed that instead of only going to Auckland,NZ to visit James, we've also planned to celebrate new years at Christchurch.
Well, since my best friends cousin lives over there, they actually invited us to visit the newly wed couple. I just can't wait. At first, I thought I would only be stuck in Auckland, North Island but now my dreams have come true and we will be able to fly in to the South Island as well. Eager for shopping, sigh-seeing, touring and of course spending Christmas and new years with my dear.
Of course before all this, lots of lectures and tutorials to overcome. I'm sure I can do it. Sometimes, just wish I had Hiro Nakamura's powers then I can bring myself to the future, make time go faster and even fly myself to NZ for free...haha.
I wouldn't need an air ticket of course...perhaps I need Mana too!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Meanigless, lifeless, clueless
-12th October 2008
-Sunday
-12.36pm
It's been 2 months and 10 days since James left for New Zealand. It has not been easy for me either. Times are bad I would say it. I would be emo, I cry, I think, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Why did I get a bf whose work forces him to travel around the world? Why can't he find a job here? We have gotten into many many arguments regarding this sensitive issue. Well, we all know that its for the better of our future but there will always be a "BUT"...
Let me see, since we dated in 2005 till today, he has traveled to Hong Kong, China & Macau various times for 3 to 4 weeks each trip; Spend 2 months in Germany, France, Turkey, Kuwait, Iran & Togo(not sure if was same trip); 3 months in Spain & now finally in New Zealand for 6 months. He will only be back in End of January 2009 for Chinese New Year. Looks like he has traveled all the continents except for North & South America. Just so you know, he graduated from University of Queesland, Australia so count that continent in too.
Every single time he is away, everyday is like a thousand years. He has only been in NZ for over 2 months but it already felt like half a year. One very thing I have not been asking him everyday when we speak on the phone is "Dear, when will you be coming back?" or "faster come back can or not?" is because I will be flying over to NZ in December with compliments from my baby:). I just can't wait!!!
One thing I would like to highlight is he never seemed to fail me in coming back for special occasions. Last year, he managed to come back in time from HK for CNY 2007 in February and this year CNY 2008 from Spain. What's more romantic is he gave me a surprise by coming back exactly on my birthday this April from China though he was very busy with a project there. There were many times I fell for the surprise when he said he was coming back in a week when actual truth he was at the airport flying back home. In many ways, he has flaws as we are just human beings but most of all since I chose to be with him, I will love him for who he is and not what he is. I was watching A walk to Remember ( I know its super old movie but I only got to watch it now as I managed to download it) just the other day and I came across a line in the movie which caught my attention..." Love is like the wind, we can't see it but we can very well feel it"---something to that effect lah. Awwwww....so romantic. Just love it!!!
Well, as a friend just commented...long distance relationships keeps the heart stronger..just like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Haha...I hope its true.
-Sunday
-12.36pm
It's been 2 months and 10 days since James left for New Zealand. It has not been easy for me either. Times are bad I would say it. I would be emo, I cry, I think, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Why did I get a bf whose work forces him to travel around the world? Why can't he find a job here? We have gotten into many many arguments regarding this sensitive issue. Well, we all know that its for the better of our future but there will always be a "BUT"...
Let me see, since we dated in 2005 till today, he has traveled to Hong Kong, China & Macau various times for 3 to 4 weeks each trip; Spend 2 months in Germany, France, Turkey, Kuwait, Iran & Togo(not sure if was same trip); 3 months in Spain & now finally in New Zealand for 6 months. He will only be back in End of January 2009 for Chinese New Year. Looks like he has traveled all the continents except for North & South America. Just so you know, he graduated from University of Queesland, Australia so count that continent in too.
Every single time he is away, everyday is like a thousand years. He has only been in NZ for over 2 months but it already felt like half a year. One very thing I have not been asking him everyday when we speak on the phone is "Dear, when will you be coming back?" or "faster come back can or not?" is because I will be flying over to NZ in December with compliments from my baby:). I just can't wait!!!
One thing I would like to highlight is he never seemed to fail me in coming back for special occasions. Last year, he managed to come back in time from HK for CNY 2007 in February and this year CNY 2008 from Spain. What's more romantic is he gave me a surprise by coming back exactly on my birthday this April from China though he was very busy with a project there. There were many times I fell for the surprise when he said he was coming back in a week when actual truth he was at the airport flying back home. In many ways, he has flaws as we are just human beings but most of all since I chose to be with him, I will love him for who he is and not what he is. I was watching A walk to Remember ( I know its super old movie but I only got to watch it now as I managed to download it) just the other day and I came across a line in the movie which caught my attention..." Love is like the wind, we can't see it but we can very well feel it"---something to that effect lah. Awwwww....so romantic. Just love it!!!
Well, as a friend just commented...long distance relationships keeps the heart stronger..just like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Haha...I hope its true.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I need a holie....
-30th August 2008-
-Saturday
12.12 am
So...finally after making all those frantic calls to the college, I eventually got my results via online. 28th August---After watching The Happening on my lappie, I decided that i should sleep early since I have to wake up at 7am for work at 8am. By then, it was around 12.30am almost 1 am. Suddenly...
*Maria...oh beng Maria....*
Me: looks at phone, unfamiliar number, however picks up call.
EM: Vera..our results are out. Can check online ad.
Me: Stunned and shocked...*Speechless*..Where? Where?
EM: Go to email and from there click on the london external link and key in registration number, examination number and birth date. Besides, A & J also passed.
ME: Frantically switching on lappie, connectin to internet is another issue *Curi line neighbour*..Lord Forgive me!!
ME: Ok...will check and let you know later. Bye and thanks
Me: Calls A and congratulated her.
A: "Faster check your results....I wanna know.
Me: Yeah, wait awhile..internet connecting sux..besides, I donno where is my examination docket..
After searching high and low *5 minutes later*..
A: okok....quickly check and key in.
A & ME : *Impatiently waiting for details to upload* swt
As the page loaded, I only managed to see the word PASSED before I even saw the individual results for all 4 subjects.
ME:*Screaming & shouting*....1.15am *sorry Esther(House mate)
A: Congratulations ya..*Both excited*
Talked for awhile then said our good nights.
Overall results I was shocked. I didn't expect to pass my public law paper. Nevertheless, my unexpected results really kicked in after I called my dad. I thought could have done better in CLR instead I only got 43 for it and also my Public. I was disappointed with my CLR results as I really studied what Mr. Rajasingham predicted and as true as it was..the questions really came out and I felt I did well for that paper..Sigh..As for public, I already predicted I would fail but praise the Lord I managed to scrapped through.
Contract has always been my strongest subject yet during the exam I felt otherwise. I wasn't sure and did not have confidence in how I answered the paper. Even so I got 50 marks...ok la. Lastly, Super shocker was criminal. I did answer all 4 questions but it was simply vague. Well, second highest of all papers..I got 48 for it. Crap lah...I know I can never be a Karpal Singh!!
Well, at least be thankful I passed and now looking forward to 1st year. I know its not gonna be easy so I have to really work my ass off as 1st and 2nd year results will be taken into account for my whole degree.
Having a great weekend ahead in peace and relieved...Might be getting my NZ trip end of the year as promise by my baby if I passed my exams as currently he is there on work. Can't simply wait till then...
-Saturday
12.12 am
So...finally after making all those frantic calls to the college, I eventually got my results via online. 28th August---After watching The Happening on my lappie, I decided that i should sleep early since I have to wake up at 7am for work at 8am. By then, it was around 12.30am almost 1 am. Suddenly...
*Maria...oh beng Maria....*
Me: looks at phone, unfamiliar number, however picks up call.
EM: Vera..our results are out. Can check online ad.
Me: Stunned and shocked...*Speechless*..Where? Where?
EM: Go to email and from there click on the london external link and key in registration number, examination number and birth date. Besides, A & J also passed.
ME: Frantically switching on lappie, connectin to internet is another issue *Curi line neighbour*..Lord Forgive me!!
ME: Ok...will check and let you know later. Bye and thanks
Me: Calls A and congratulated her.
A: "Faster check your results....I wanna know.
Me: Yeah, wait awhile..internet connecting sux..besides, I donno where is my examination docket..
After searching high and low *5 minutes later*..
A: okok....quickly check and key in.
A & ME : *Impatiently waiting for details to upload* swt
As the page loaded, I only managed to see the word PASSED before I even saw the individual results for all 4 subjects.
ME:*Screaming & shouting*....1.15am *sorry Esther(House mate)
A: Congratulations ya..*Both excited*
Talked for awhile then said our good nights.
Overall results I was shocked. I didn't expect to pass my public law paper. Nevertheless, my unexpected results really kicked in after I called my dad. I thought could have done better in CLR instead I only got 43 for it and also my Public. I was disappointed with my CLR results as I really studied what Mr. Rajasingham predicted and as true as it was..the questions really came out and I felt I did well for that paper..Sigh..As for public, I already predicted I would fail but praise the Lord I managed to scrapped through.
Contract has always been my strongest subject yet during the exam I felt otherwise. I wasn't sure and did not have confidence in how I answered the paper. Even so I got 50 marks...ok la. Lastly, Super shocker was criminal. I did answer all 4 questions but it was simply vague. Well, second highest of all papers..I got 48 for it. Crap lah...I know I can never be a Karpal Singh!!
Well, at least be thankful I passed and now looking forward to 1st year. I know its not gonna be easy so I have to really work my ass off as 1st and 2nd year results will be taken into account for my whole degree.
Having a great weekend ahead in peace and relieved...Might be getting my NZ trip end of the year as promise by my baby if I passed my exams as currently he is there on work. Can't simply wait till then...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Turn the left cheek.......
-10th May 2008
-Saturday
-6.28pm
Exams exams exams....Argg just round the corner! Its actually in another 11 days! Been studying a lot but lately I've gone into a "Slumber" mood! I feel exhausted all the time and my migraine keeps coming back. I guess its just pre - examinations syndrome(PES). Haha. I just pray and hope that exams will turn out ok and that I do not have to repeat my papers next year. Gosh, I'm 22 already and if I have to repeat my papers again all the years, I think by the time I'm 26 I won't even be done with my law degree.
Lately, for no particular reason I've this dream of becoming a MP. I guess RPK ( Raja Petra Kamaruddin) has made me realised that one can make a difference in our country.
I really admire and look highly upon him coz this guy doesn't even have a University degree. Nevertheless, his writing skills and sarcastic remarks on his blog are just beyond words to describe. Oh yeah, lately, James has been visiting me quite often as he flies a lots lately to China. He is always on the go. As per James" I live on a suitcase". As for me, I feel like a widow..haha. A lonely Gf as my bf is always not around. Well, I guess if I want to be his gf then I have to accept the fact that this is the nature of his job.
Criminal law keeps ringing in my head...all the cases, Cox V Riley, DPP V Kay, DPP V Newbury & Jones....arggggg! Gosh, I'm going mad! Even in my sleep I can recite them
God, give me strength! Amen
-Saturday
-6.28pm
Exams exams exams....Argg just round the corner! Its actually in another 11 days! Been studying a lot but lately I've gone into a "Slumber" mood! I feel exhausted all the time and my migraine keeps coming back. I guess its just pre - examinations syndrome(PES). Haha. I just pray and hope that exams will turn out ok and that I do not have to repeat my papers next year. Gosh, I'm 22 already and if I have to repeat my papers again all the years, I think by the time I'm 26 I won't even be done with my law degree.
Lately, for no particular reason I've this dream of becoming a MP. I guess RPK ( Raja Petra Kamaruddin) has made me realised that one can make a difference in our country.
I really admire and look highly upon him coz this guy doesn't even have a University degree. Nevertheless, his writing skills and sarcastic remarks on his blog are just beyond words to describe. Oh yeah, lately, James has been visiting me quite often as he flies a lots lately to China. He is always on the go. As per James" I live on a suitcase". As for me, I feel like a widow..haha. A lonely Gf as my bf is always not around. Well, I guess if I want to be his gf then I have to accept the fact that this is the nature of his job.
Criminal law keeps ringing in my head...all the cases, Cox V Riley, DPP V Kay, DPP V Newbury & Jones....arggggg! Gosh, I'm going mad! Even in my sleep I can recite them
God, give me strength! Amen
Monday, February 18, 2008
Valentine's Day...D-Day
-18th February 2008
-Monday
-12.11 am
Sorry again to my friends who actually takes interest in my blog for taking so long to come out with another post. I've been struggling to get a stabble internet connection to the extend of actually trying to curi internet connection from my neighbours(shhhhhh). So that's why I'm always slow in posting a new post. Do forgive me ya peeps.
Last week was first week of classes after the CNY holidays. I was really looking forward to it as I thought my Panda will be coming up to celebrate Valentine's Day with me.(BTW, my panda is back from Spain and is now back in our hometown, Melaka) Well, before I came up to KL last Monday, he promised me that he will be up sometime that week. I was so full of excitement as I really relied on his promise. To cut a long story short, he never turned up. I was sad indeed but actually I was disappointed more than anything else. I wouldn't be so disappointed if he just told me straight to the face that he couldn't make it due to reasons blah blah blah but in fact, I had to ask and feel more disappointed myself.
1) I'm a girl who loves to receive flowers on any type of occassion be it Valentine's Day itself:). Unfortunately, I have a bf who thinks that flowers are a waste of money and doesn't see a point in getting them (Minimize cost) for me unless like he says.."if we have extra money" . Well, a stalk of rose on normal days whould just cost around RM3.00 and for that price you get to make your gf happy. Isn't that well worth your money? I didn't ask for like 999 stalks of roses. A stalk will totally make my day.
2)Come to think about it, I've never celebrated Valentine's day with my Panda before. Not even once. For the 3 years we've been together, I can't quite recall what reasons we had but we've always failed to celebrate it. This year of course you can clearly see why he couldn't make it to celebrate with me(work). Last year, was of course work again(Hong Kong)but fortunately what saved his ass was the swaroszki crystal cross pendant he bought for me which cost HKD 600 which means RM 300. The year before last, I seriously can't quite remember.
3)I've tried to convince myself that Valentine's Day is just a date and that we can celebrate it any day as to us couples who are competely in love, Valentine's Day is everyday .."Love is in the air"! But, I just can't come to terms that it is still a a special day where couples go out to celebrate where they have a nice meal, receive flowers and nice presents. Maybe I'm being very idealistic. Perhaps, I've been brainwashed by all those Valentine's Day adverts and propagandas where people think of Valentine's Day as a day to earn money. As a girl, I think any girl would agree with me that it is still a nice feeling to receive something from the one you love. Unfortunately again, I have a very pragmatic bf who says that presents are only given when we have extra money to buy it and if we buy a present when we don't have the extra money, what are we gonna live on for the rest of the month. I see his point but STILL.....can save what right?
So, that was my perfect V-Day. Fortunately, my best friend being single of course made up to my super sad day by treating me to Chilis at 1 Utama. We had a great time. We had a fajita combo and a caesar salad. To end the "Perfect" day, our dessert was strawberry and mash mallows dipped in a chocolate fountain. We were walking around the concourse area and the chocolate exhabition just caught our eye. We just couldn't resist not having them in our mouth. Hehe.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week again as my Panda PROMISED to make it up to me by coming up. Coincidently, I have no Criminal class this Wed and Thursday so just as well, I can spend more time with him. I'm just so excited. I just hope he doesn't fail me again.
-Monday
-12.11 am
Sorry again to my friends who actually takes interest in my blog for taking so long to come out with another post. I've been struggling to get a stabble internet connection to the extend of actually trying to curi internet connection from my neighbours(shhhhhh). So that's why I'm always slow in posting a new post. Do forgive me ya peeps.
Last week was first week of classes after the CNY holidays. I was really looking forward to it as I thought my Panda will be coming up to celebrate Valentine's Day with me.(BTW, my panda is back from Spain and is now back in our hometown, Melaka) Well, before I came up to KL last Monday, he promised me that he will be up sometime that week. I was so full of excitement as I really relied on his promise. To cut a long story short, he never turned up. I was sad indeed but actually I was disappointed more than anything else. I wouldn't be so disappointed if he just told me straight to the face that he couldn't make it due to reasons blah blah blah but in fact, I had to ask and feel more disappointed myself.
1) I'm a girl who loves to receive flowers on any type of occassion be it Valentine's Day itself:). Unfortunately, I have a bf who thinks that flowers are a waste of money and doesn't see a point in getting them (Minimize cost) for me unless like he says.."if we have extra money" . Well, a stalk of rose on normal days whould just cost around RM3.00 and for that price you get to make your gf happy. Isn't that well worth your money? I didn't ask for like 999 stalks of roses. A stalk will totally make my day.
2)Come to think about it, I've never celebrated Valentine's day with my Panda before. Not even once. For the 3 years we've been together, I can't quite recall what reasons we had but we've always failed to celebrate it. This year of course you can clearly see why he couldn't make it to celebrate with me(work). Last year, was of course work again(Hong Kong)but fortunately what saved his ass was the swaroszki crystal cross pendant he bought for me which cost HKD 600 which means RM 300. The year before last, I seriously can't quite remember.
3)I've tried to convince myself that Valentine's Day is just a date and that we can celebrate it any day as to us couples who are competely in love, Valentine's Day is everyday .."Love is in the air"! But, I just can't come to terms that it is still a a special day where couples go out to celebrate where they have a nice meal, receive flowers and nice presents. Maybe I'm being very idealistic. Perhaps, I've been brainwashed by all those Valentine's Day adverts and propagandas where people think of Valentine's Day as a day to earn money. As a girl, I think any girl would agree with me that it is still a nice feeling to receive something from the one you love. Unfortunately again, I have a very pragmatic bf who says that presents are only given when we have extra money to buy it and if we buy a present when we don't have the extra money, what are we gonna live on for the rest of the month. I see his point but STILL.....can save what right?
So, that was my perfect V-Day. Fortunately, my best friend being single of course made up to my super sad day by treating me to Chilis at 1 Utama. We had a great time. We had a fajita combo and a caesar salad. To end the "Perfect" day, our dessert was strawberry and mash mallows dipped in a chocolate fountain. We were walking around the concourse area and the chocolate exhabition just caught our eye. We just couldn't resist not having them in our mouth. Hehe.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week again as my Panda PROMISED to make it up to me by coming up. Coincidently, I have no Criminal class this Wed and Thursday so just as well, I can spend more time with him. I'm just so excited. I just hope he doesn't fail me again.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Insecurities of a girl full of idiosyncrasies
-25th January 2008-
-Saturday
-6.10 pm
Yeah....baby, it's been ages since I last updated. It's been depressing lately without you around. I could be envious of you just because you are in Spain having a good time( Working). The truth is I just miss you alot. Your smile, your laughter, your stupid yet entertaining jokes*Sowie*, your stories about your IT gadgets, your smell, your hugs, your kisses, your touch...everything about you I just miss! Enough said! My rambling, my ranting about you coming back quickly sometimes just gets the better of me. I'm sorry if I kept complaining about you being far away from me and I know without fail you will just calmly tell me that You still love me and try all ways to comfort me during my emo times. Thanks baby!
As I read EJ's blog post, I was terribly reminded of my own funny characteristics and idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, when we gossip about others, there is always this chilling thought that perhaps one day somebody might be doing the same thing to me. Eg: "Oh, I just can't stand the way she speaks with that funny accent"..thank god I have no accent when I speak, or " My God, she looks so fat wearing that lil dress of hers plus I think she just doesn't have any sense of dressing" or worst case scenario, " I can't believe she is so bitchy and ignorant in class". I always believe the saying," Where they is human, there ought to be gossip".
I'm not sure how my friends think about me. I've heard enough of what SOMEBODY in my college tried to do by gossiping and back stabbing me to her bunch of friends who eventually became my good friends. She can say what she wants as they are just a bunch of bull s**t. I don't know what inspired her to do so but who cares as long my friends know that I'm not that sort of person and that I'm sincere in my friendships.
I know I'm not perfect...(seriously, I have so many bad habits and characteristics that you can't even imagine.
My dad's favourite quote goes like this....
" I wonder how James can tolerate you?" or
" If you don't change, James and your friends will eventually leave you"
I've began to change slowly in many ways...thank god for James who patiently thought me and guided me. Baby, I know currently your patient is at low peak but please be patient with me ok. You know I'm not good at controlling and couping with my feelings. I'm like this emotional bug who is so needy all the time. At times, I just question myself how can I be not so clingy and needy. Gosh, I'm a pest in the eyes of my bf!
So, I just can't wait to see my uncle(bf)..sowie nicknamed by my college mates. I've been waiting these four months for your return from Spain and finally my wait has arrived.
Home sweet home baby!!!!*winkz*
-Saturday
-6.10 pm
Yeah....baby, it's been ages since I last updated. It's been depressing lately without you around. I could be envious of you just because you are in Spain having a good time( Working). The truth is I just miss you alot. Your smile, your laughter, your stupid yet entertaining jokes*Sowie*, your stories about your IT gadgets, your smell, your hugs, your kisses, your touch...everything about you I just miss! Enough said! My rambling, my ranting about you coming back quickly sometimes just gets the better of me. I'm sorry if I kept complaining about you being far away from me and I know without fail you will just calmly tell me that You still love me and try all ways to comfort me during my emo times. Thanks baby!
As I read EJ's blog post, I was terribly reminded of my own funny characteristics and idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, when we gossip about others, there is always this chilling thought that perhaps one day somebody might be doing the same thing to me. Eg: "Oh, I just can't stand the way she speaks with that funny accent"..thank god I have no accent when I speak, or " My God, she looks so fat wearing that lil dress of hers plus I think she just doesn't have any sense of dressing" or worst case scenario, " I can't believe she is so bitchy and ignorant in class". I always believe the saying," Where they is human, there ought to be gossip".
I'm not sure how my friends think about me. I've heard enough of what SOMEBODY in my college tried to do by gossiping and back stabbing me to her bunch of friends who eventually became my good friends. She can say what she wants as they are just a bunch of bull s**t. I don't know what inspired her to do so but who cares as long my friends know that I'm not that sort of person and that I'm sincere in my friendships.
I know I'm not perfect...(seriously, I have so many bad habits and characteristics that you can't even imagine.
My dad's favourite quote goes like this....
" I wonder how James can tolerate you?" or
" If you don't change, James and your friends will eventually leave you"
I've began to change slowly in many ways...thank god for James who patiently thought me and guided me. Baby, I know currently your patient is at low peak but please be patient with me ok. You know I'm not good at controlling and couping with my feelings. I'm like this emotional bug who is so needy all the time. At times, I just question myself how can I be not so clingy and needy. Gosh, I'm a pest in the eyes of my bf!
So, I just can't wait to see my uncle(bf)..sowie nicknamed by my college mates. I've been waiting these four months for your return from Spain and finally my wait has arrived.
Home sweet home baby!!!!*winkz*
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
*A new beginning*
-21-08-2007
-Tuesday
-3.18pm
Life is such an unpredictable event in the chapter of our daily lives. Things come and go and sometimes we don't even know what might happen next. Our ignorance tends to lead us to our fall and unpredictable things naturally turns to become predictable events. 2 weeks back, I suffered a terrible breakup but yet he patched things back and asked me to give him another chance. Actually we both agreed to work and talk things out in future. Deep down during our talk, I was willing to let everything go and let him make the decision. Suddenly I was having all sorts of feelings eg: fear, disappointment, hurt, angry, sad....generally I was having mix feelings. On one hand, I wasn't willing to let him go but on the other hand, I was afraid of getting hurt again. Promises aren't promises that I used to know anymore. Promises can be broken and all we have to say is a SORRY!
Anyway, for us it's a new beginning, a new love life and a new hair cut for me :)
When I had long hair, I always wanted to perm and dye my hair but in the end, I got bored waiting and decided to just cut it off. I got a Rihanna look alike bob hairstyle...the most in hairstyle at the moment. Dyed my hair but didn't come out the way I wanted it to be so I guess the coming month I'll dye once again and this time highlight it also.*grinz* Some people say I look like a young school girl:( but some say I look fresh and nice. I just wanted a changed. That's all!
-Tuesday
-3.18pm
Life is such an unpredictable event in the chapter of our daily lives. Things come and go and sometimes we don't even know what might happen next. Our ignorance tends to lead us to our fall and unpredictable things naturally turns to become predictable events. 2 weeks back, I suffered a terrible breakup but yet he patched things back and asked me to give him another chance. Actually we both agreed to work and talk things out in future. Deep down during our talk, I was willing to let everything go and let him make the decision. Suddenly I was having all sorts of feelings eg: fear, disappointment, hurt, angry, sad....generally I was having mix feelings. On one hand, I wasn't willing to let him go but on the other hand, I was afraid of getting hurt again. Promises aren't promises that I used to know anymore. Promises can be broken and all we have to say is a SORRY!
Anyway, for us it's a new beginning, a new love life and a new hair cut for me :)
When I had long hair, I always wanted to perm and dye my hair but in the end, I got bored waiting and decided to just cut it off. I got a Rihanna look alike bob hairstyle...the most in hairstyle at the moment. Dyed my hair but didn't come out the way I wanted it to be so I guess the coming month I'll dye once again and this time highlight it also.*grinz* Some people say I look like a young school girl:( but some say I look fresh and nice. I just wanted a changed. That's all!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Vera in Latin means "THE TRUTH"
-02-08-2007-
-Thursday-
-12.09 am
Found this link while reading a friends blog...Interesting!! If everything stated above were true, I'll be the perfect gf any guy would go after. okok...except the naive and insane part of course. Haha...
-Thursday-
-12.09 am
| What Vera Tay Jin Mei Means |
V is for Virile E is for Enlightened R is for Romantic A is for Articulate T is for Tender A is for Active Y is for Yummy J is for Joyous I is for Intelligent N is for Naive M is for Musical E is for Extraordinary I is for Insane |
Found this link while reading a friends blog...Interesting!! If everything stated above were true, I'll be the perfect gf any guy would go after. okok...except the naive and insane part of course. Haha...
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
From a guys perspective.....
-01-08-2007
-Wednesday-
-11.42pm
My Own Worst Enemy
I was annoyed when she kept calling me everyday, wanting to chat for hours. Yeah, she was persistent alright, she wanted me to spend some time on the phone with her as frequent as possible. I was irritated when she wanted me to keep on SMSing her every now and then, most of all, before I sleep and when I get up in the morning. Those were the times when I was far away from her. It happens every time I'm away from her.
Geez, it seemed so much like a routine to me already. It felt like I was in an office, with the boss wanting to monitor my every move that I have to report on my daily activities, or perhaps clock in and out. It was okay initially, but then it soon became a burden, a bother to me. I didn't like the idea of how she wants me to make it a point to inform her of my wellbeing everyday.
At one point, my patience ran out, and I snapped at her. I began SMSing her lesser and lesser everyday. I didn't even bother calling her, and when she called me, I turned her down. She would complain on why I wasn't SMSing her anymore, and questioned how important she was to me. And at that time, sadly, all I heard was bla bla bla, the end. I was busy with my friends, I hung out every day and night, with my busy schedule of activities.
Somehow I didn't see the need of contacting her that frequent, and I felt that she should think the same way too. I could go on for 3 to 4 days without any conversation with her at all, as I was too busy to even spare a thought about her. I was having so much fun, that she didn't even came across my mind, not even for a second.
I remember how she'd call me when I'm out with my friends, busy chatting and eating with them. She was trying to have a short but lovely conversation with me. But I felt irritated instead.... I chatted with her for a bit and then insisted that we hung up cos I wanted to get back to my friends. Then she begged me to talk just for a litle bit more, just that little bit more, so she can hear my voice and make herself happy. And you know what? I said no.... I said things to her, sentences, words that at that point, I didn't realize how hurtful they were. Yes, I said those...
"Nah, lets just talk tomorrow okay? U call me everyday anyway. Lets just continue tomorrow"
"I'm with my friends now, and I'm in the middle of a conversation with them, so I'd better get back to them okay."
"We can always talk tomorrow okay? Why are u so irritating? Moreover, this is only temporary, and when I get back there, you'll be so sick of me eventually!"
"Look, u're really getting on my nerves now. Dont you have friends as well? Go hang out with them or something okay? I've got my friends here, and it's rude to leave them for too long."
"Would you just hang up and stop bothering me? I need my space here okay, and u're definitely not giving me that. This is the only time I can really spend time with my friends, and when I get back, it'll be only you for the next 6 months!"
"Hey, why dont you do yourself a favor and go get a life man!"
"You want me to SMS you every damn minute or so, and when I don't reply, you'll call me and ask why. I find you very annoying you know that? Dont you have anything better to do?"
And all she could say was
"Dear.... just a little longer please...? I just wanna hear your voice for a while more. It makes me so happy, cos I miss you so much. Let me talk to you for a little longer okay? So that I can sleep tonight. Please dear? Please......"
She'd say those words again and again, begging me to prolong our conversation, even to the point where she broke down and wept pitifully. She cried begging me just to talk to her for a bit more, and yet I kept saying no to her, kept insisting that we hung up. At some point, I began to cut her off just like that. Then she'd call back, countless times..... just for me to reject her calls over and over again. I didn't realize what I've done, all the way, even after we ended.
Then when I got back, I got to know that she had spent a few hundred dollars on her phone bills itself. She paid it all through her meagrely small salary, which she saved up every month from working so hard on weekends. I could not believe what I saw... I could not believe the fact that she was willing to give so much for me, so much just to hear my voice. And what did I do in return???? I fuckin hurt her with my ignorance, with my mean words that I always seem to cleverly compose just to put her down. And what's worse, was that I didn't even realize what I've done!! Fuck !!!!
Over these past few days, things happened, and I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I finally realized..... what an asshole I was. What a jerk I was to her. I couldn't believe I said those things. I finally put myself in her shoes, and realized how hurtful it was to hear those words from someone you love so much. I realized a lot of things. I felt what she felt, that's all I can say.
I can now say, that it really stabs you when you miss someone so much, but yet that person don't seem to give a toss about you. Then you end up feeling lost and confused, on whether or not that thing called LOVE and SIGNIFICANCE still exists between you both. You start to question where you stand in their life. You feel like a fresh piece of shit. You feel so damn small, waiting by their feet, but yet they avoid you, cos u're a just a piece of shit anyway.
I know for sure now.... that it cuts so deep that it bleeds when you try so hard to call someone, blowing your phone bills just for the satisfaction of hearing their voice, only to find yourself being shoved away, brushed away. And worse.... being put down, by words that you wished you'd never wanted to hear, especially from them whom you loved so much.
I finally know how it feels.... to be treated like a huge fuckin pile of trash....
I was the biggest jerk ever, I admit, and nothing that I do now could change what I've done. That part of my life is called: Being an Asshole. A complete Asshole. Nothing more.
God, today I've realized a very significant mistake of my past. I've realized that what I did has brought so much pain to someone. I've realized that I kept blaming her for being 'inconvenient' to me, where all along, it was me who needed some correction.
I know I can't change the past..... but now that I'm with another person, I want to change. I wanna make sure she wont ever hear me say those words. I wanna make sure she gets all that I've failed to give in the past relationships.
Dear God... starting today, I promise I'll love her so much more that I can ever love someone, and believe me, that I'm constantly striving to treat her right, trying to be the best for her. And if I'm gonna have to end up falling hard over and over again, then so be it. I expect nothing in return from her.
So could You ever forgive me, for all the wrong things I've done before.....?
Could You?
I am my own worst enemy.
Enough said.....
Enough now.
This was written by a guy friend of mine and I can say that I cried after reading it. I can totally connect to it as I am totally the same as the girl in it and the guy is just like my guy. Well, most guys always feel that we girls are very irritating and blah blah blah. This just shows how much we sacrifice out of love. We sacrifice our time, money and it drains us mentally, physically and emotionally. It will be unfair to say the guys are not doing their part but well, to be honest, most of the time we girls put more effort into a relationship. One thing I'm very proud to say that at least my guy friend actually reflected on what he said and did to his girl. I wish my guy actually gave a thought to everything I did for him. I wished he appreciated and loved me as much as how I showed my love to him. I just hope this will give him a nudge!!! LOL! Truthfully, on the other hand I've began to realized that I actually gave him too much pressure and maybe I treated him like as if he was in a army boot camp and that he must report to me his entire schedule for the day. If my guy friend didn't give the illustration of the part where he felt like if he was being monitored by his boss in the office, It wouldn't have hit me so much on the head that I was exactly like that. I'm so sorry that I actually treated you like this. It never really struck me that I was capable of doing things that were just slowly pushing you away from me. Please forgive me!
My sadness, my madness, I'm my own saviour!!!!
-Wednesday-
-11.42pm
My Own Worst Enemy
I was annoyed when she kept calling me everyday, wanting to chat for hours. Yeah, she was persistent alright, she wanted me to spend some time on the phone with her as frequent as possible. I was irritated when she wanted me to keep on SMSing her every now and then, most of all, before I sleep and when I get up in the morning. Those were the times when I was far away from her. It happens every time I'm away from her.
Geez, it seemed so much like a routine to me already. It felt like I was in an office, with the boss wanting to monitor my every move that I have to report on my daily activities, or perhaps clock in and out. It was okay initially, but then it soon became a burden, a bother to me. I didn't like the idea of how she wants me to make it a point to inform her of my wellbeing everyday.
At one point, my patience ran out, and I snapped at her. I began SMSing her lesser and lesser everyday. I didn't even bother calling her, and when she called me, I turned her down. She would complain on why I wasn't SMSing her anymore, and questioned how important she was to me. And at that time, sadly, all I heard was bla bla bla, the end. I was busy with my friends, I hung out every day and night, with my busy schedule of activities.
Somehow I didn't see the need of contacting her that frequent, and I felt that she should think the same way too. I could go on for 3 to 4 days without any conversation with her at all, as I was too busy to even spare a thought about her. I was having so much fun, that she didn't even came across my mind, not even for a second.
I remember how she'd call me when I'm out with my friends, busy chatting and eating with them. She was trying to have a short but lovely conversation with me. But I felt irritated instead.... I chatted with her for a bit and then insisted that we hung up cos I wanted to get back to my friends. Then she begged me to talk just for a litle bit more, just that little bit more, so she can hear my voice and make herself happy. And you know what? I said no.... I said things to her, sentences, words that at that point, I didn't realize how hurtful they were. Yes, I said those...
"Nah, lets just talk tomorrow okay? U call me everyday anyway. Lets just continue tomorrow"
"I'm with my friends now, and I'm in the middle of a conversation with them, so I'd better get back to them okay."
"We can always talk tomorrow okay? Why are u so irritating? Moreover, this is only temporary, and when I get back there, you'll be so sick of me eventually!"
"Look, u're really getting on my nerves now. Dont you have friends as well? Go hang out with them or something okay? I've got my friends here, and it's rude to leave them for too long."
"Would you just hang up and stop bothering me? I need my space here okay, and u're definitely not giving me that. This is the only time I can really spend time with my friends, and when I get back, it'll be only you for the next 6 months!"
"Hey, why dont you do yourself a favor and go get a life man!"
"You want me to SMS you every damn minute or so, and when I don't reply, you'll call me and ask why. I find you very annoying you know that? Dont you have anything better to do?"
And all she could say was
"Dear.... just a little longer please...? I just wanna hear your voice for a while more. It makes me so happy, cos I miss you so much. Let me talk to you for a little longer okay? So that I can sleep tonight. Please dear? Please......"
She'd say those words again and again, begging me to prolong our conversation, even to the point where she broke down and wept pitifully. She cried begging me just to talk to her for a bit more, and yet I kept saying no to her, kept insisting that we hung up. At some point, I began to cut her off just like that. Then she'd call back, countless times..... just for me to reject her calls over and over again. I didn't realize what I've done, all the way, even after we ended.
Then when I got back, I got to know that she had spent a few hundred dollars on her phone bills itself. She paid it all through her meagrely small salary, which she saved up every month from working so hard on weekends. I could not believe what I saw... I could not believe the fact that she was willing to give so much for me, so much just to hear my voice. And what did I do in return???? I fuckin hurt her with my ignorance, with my mean words that I always seem to cleverly compose just to put her down. And what's worse, was that I didn't even realize what I've done!! Fuck !!!!
Over these past few days, things happened, and I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I finally realized..... what an asshole I was. What a jerk I was to her. I couldn't believe I said those things. I finally put myself in her shoes, and realized how hurtful it was to hear those words from someone you love so much. I realized a lot of things. I felt what she felt, that's all I can say.
I can now say, that it really stabs you when you miss someone so much, but yet that person don't seem to give a toss about you. Then you end up feeling lost and confused, on whether or not that thing called LOVE and SIGNIFICANCE still exists between you both. You start to question where you stand in their life. You feel like a fresh piece of shit. You feel so damn small, waiting by their feet, but yet they avoid you, cos u're a just a piece of shit anyway.
I know for sure now.... that it cuts so deep that it bleeds when you try so hard to call someone, blowing your phone bills just for the satisfaction of hearing their voice, only to find yourself being shoved away, brushed away. And worse.... being put down, by words that you wished you'd never wanted to hear, especially from them whom you loved so much.
I finally know how it feels.... to be treated like a huge fuckin pile of trash....
I was the biggest jerk ever, I admit, and nothing that I do now could change what I've done. That part of my life is called: Being an Asshole. A complete Asshole. Nothing more.
God, today I've realized a very significant mistake of my past. I've realized that what I did has brought so much pain to someone. I've realized that I kept blaming her for being 'inconvenient' to me, where all along, it was me who needed some correction.
I know I can't change the past..... but now that I'm with another person, I want to change. I wanna make sure she wont ever hear me say those words. I wanna make sure she gets all that I've failed to give in the past relationships.
Dear God... starting today, I promise I'll love her so much more that I can ever love someone, and believe me, that I'm constantly striving to treat her right, trying to be the best for her. And if I'm gonna have to end up falling hard over and over again, then so be it. I expect nothing in return from her.
So could You ever forgive me, for all the wrong things I've done before.....?
Could You?
I am my own worst enemy.
Enough said.....
Enough now.
This was written by a guy friend of mine and I can say that I cried after reading it. I can totally connect to it as I am totally the same as the girl in it and the guy is just like my guy. Well, most guys always feel that we girls are very irritating and blah blah blah. This just shows how much we sacrifice out of love. We sacrifice our time, money and it drains us mentally, physically and emotionally. It will be unfair to say the guys are not doing their part but well, to be honest, most of the time we girls put more effort into a relationship. One thing I'm very proud to say that at least my guy friend actually reflected on what he said and did to his girl. I wish my guy actually gave a thought to everything I did for him. I wished he appreciated and loved me as much as how I showed my love to him. I just hope this will give him a nudge!!! LOL! Truthfully, on the other hand I've began to realized that I actually gave him too much pressure and maybe I treated him like as if he was in a army boot camp and that he must report to me his entire schedule for the day. If my guy friend didn't give the illustration of the part where he felt like if he was being monitored by his boss in the office, It wouldn't have hit me so much on the head that I was exactly like that. I'm so sorry that I actually treated you like this. It never really struck me that I was capable of doing things that were just slowly pushing you away from me. Please forgive me!
My sadness, my madness, I'm my own saviour!!!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
200 pounds beauty....a natural beauty
-31-07-2007-
-Tuesday-
8.45pm
Synopsis
Han-Na is a very big girl with a warm heart. She is also gifted with an unbelievable voice from God. Han-Na has always wanted to be a pop-singer, but due to her appearance, could only work as a faceless singer. She provides the vocals for a popular singer named Ami, a beautiful young lady that can’t carry a note to save her life.
Also, Han-Na is in love with Ami’s music producer, Sang-June, but it is a one-sided love. One day, Han-Na is invited to Sang-June’s birthday party and receives a red dress from him to wear to his party. Han-Na is excited, yet scared. The dress is revealing and quite extravagant. With her very large figure, she is not sure if she could wear such an outfit. She does eventually go to the birthday party in the red dress, but is mortified when petite Ami appears in the same red dress. During the course of the birthday party, Han-Na absorbs more emotional trauma and she simply disappears……..
One year later, after Han-Na’s extreme makeover (major plastic surgery), Han-Na takes on a new identity and becomes Jenny. Jenny has a near perfect body and face. Nobody recognizes her, even her best friend. Meanwhile, the producer Sang-Jung is searching for a replacement singer for Ami, but can’t find anyone close to the talents of Han-na. Han-na as Jenny, now comes back into the picture and auditions for the job. Sang-Jung is immediately floored by her. She has the absolute beauty and that stunning voice. Soon afterwards, her dream that Sung-June will fall in love with her, is about to come true. Unfortunately, Ami is now jealous of her and feels threatened by her sudden success. She researches into Jenny’s background and comes up with the truth about her true identity.
Will this ruin Jenny’s career?
I love the soundtracks from this movie...eg: All songs that I like are sang by Kim Ah Joong eg: Star(Byul), Maria and I'm a beautiful girl. I can really connect with this movie as Han-na is just like me desperately wanting to loose weight who eventually succeeded in doing so. I have managed to loose quite a bit of weight recently and I feel totally happy and delighted by it. I too wish I had the body of Han-na after her surgery...Super Sexy!
I have uploaded the Music Video of the song star(Byul) by Kim Ah Joong here and I hope you guys will enjoy. It's so touching it made me cry. Attached here is also the Lyrics....
Kim Ah Joong-Star(Byul)
param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi
English Translation
the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me
don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever
-Tuesday-
8.45pm
Synopsis
Han-Na is a very big girl with a warm heart. She is also gifted with an unbelievable voice from God. Han-Na has always wanted to be a pop-singer, but due to her appearance, could only work as a faceless singer. She provides the vocals for a popular singer named Ami, a beautiful young lady that can’t carry a note to save her life.
Also, Han-Na is in love with Ami’s music producer, Sang-June, but it is a one-sided love. One day, Han-Na is invited to Sang-June’s birthday party and receives a red dress from him to wear to his party. Han-Na is excited, yet scared. The dress is revealing and quite extravagant. With her very large figure, she is not sure if she could wear such an outfit. She does eventually go to the birthday party in the red dress, but is mortified when petite Ami appears in the same red dress. During the course of the birthday party, Han-Na absorbs more emotional trauma and she simply disappears……..
One year later, after Han-Na’s extreme makeover (major plastic surgery), Han-Na takes on a new identity and becomes Jenny. Jenny has a near perfect body and face. Nobody recognizes her, even her best friend. Meanwhile, the producer Sang-Jung is searching for a replacement singer for Ami, but can’t find anyone close to the talents of Han-na. Han-na as Jenny, now comes back into the picture and auditions for the job. Sang-Jung is immediately floored by her. She has the absolute beauty and that stunning voice. Soon afterwards, her dream that Sung-June will fall in love with her, is about to come true. Unfortunately, Ami is now jealous of her and feels threatened by her sudden success. She researches into Jenny’s background and comes up with the truth about her true identity.Will this ruin Jenny’s career?
I love the soundtracks from this movie...eg: All songs that I like are sang by Kim Ah Joong eg: Star(Byul), Maria and I'm a beautiful girl. I can really connect with this movie as Han-na is just like me desperately wanting to loose weight who eventually succeeded in doing so. I have managed to loose quite a bit of weight recently and I feel totally happy and delighted by it. I too wish I had the body of Han-na after her surgery...Super Sexy!
I have uploaded the Music Video of the song star(Byul) by Kim Ah Joong here and I hope you guys will enjoy. It's so touching it made me cry. Attached here is also the Lyrics....
Kim Ah Joong-Star(Byul)
param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi
English Translation
the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me
don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug
though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get
Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever
Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever
Saturday, July 28, 2007
My love poem
-28-07-2007-
-Saturday-
-3.06am
I found this Malay poem that I wrote ages ago when I was in Brazil like 3 years ago. I couldn't believe that my Malay then was so good. Haha...I must have been so bored in school that I wrote something like that. So I'm reposting it here again!
Cinta
Cinta yang aku melalui ni,
bukan mudah tapi amat sukar,
selama ni aku menyimpan dalam hati,
perasaan yang amat menyentuh jiwa ni.
Saya ingin melafazkan cintaku,
tapi sering dihantui perasaan ketakutan.
Apa ketakutannya?
mungkin cintaku tidak dibalas,
perasaan malu bila cinta ditolak.
Oh..............Apakah cinta?
Mengapakah kita harus melalui semua ni?
Kesengsaraan jiwa sering menghantuiku,
Kesakitan di hati bukannya orang tahu.
Tapi di akhir duniaku,
Walaupun apa terjadi padaku,
ia adalah berbaloi,
kerana kamu adalah cahaya hidupku dan,
saya tetap akan mencintai mu untuk selama-lamanya.
Today I went clubbing at some Indian club, Moksha in Bangsar with the Rotaractors from RAC Bangsar and RAC Kuala Lumpur. It was really a cultural shock...For the first time I'm entering an Indian club with just Indian people dancing to Indian techno music. Impressive!!! Had a drink of beer and that was it as I had to drive home...
I'm fine and doing just great...thanks for everyones concern. I'll recover in no time. I promise...Don't worry! Thanks Carol for being there.
-Saturday-
-3.06am
I found this Malay poem that I wrote ages ago when I was in Brazil like 3 years ago. I couldn't believe that my Malay then was so good. Haha...I must have been so bored in school that I wrote something like that. So I'm reposting it here again!
Cinta
Cinta yang aku melalui ni,
bukan mudah tapi amat sukar,
selama ni aku menyimpan dalam hati,
perasaan yang amat menyentuh jiwa ni.
Saya ingin melafazkan cintaku,
tapi sering dihantui perasaan ketakutan.
Apa ketakutannya?
mungkin cintaku tidak dibalas,
perasaan malu bila cinta ditolak.
Oh..............Apakah cinta?
Mengapakah kita harus melalui semua ni?
Kesengsaraan jiwa sering menghantuiku,
Kesakitan di hati bukannya orang tahu.
Tapi di akhir duniaku,
Walaupun apa terjadi padaku,
ia adalah berbaloi,
kerana kamu adalah cahaya hidupku dan,
saya tetap akan mencintai mu untuk selama-lamanya.
Today I went clubbing at some Indian club, Moksha in Bangsar with the Rotaractors from RAC Bangsar and RAC Kuala Lumpur. It was really a cultural shock...For the first time I'm entering an Indian club with just Indian people dancing to Indian techno music. Impressive!!! Had a drink of beer and that was it as I had to drive home...
I'm fine and doing just great...thanks for everyones concern. I'll recover in no time. I promise...Don't worry! Thanks Carol for being there.
Friday, July 27, 2007
When you're gone
-27-07-1007
-Friday
-1.10pm
I was listening to this song over and over again for the pass few days. I really liked it without even taking notice of the lyrics. Finally, yesterday the lyrics dawned on me that this is what I'm really going through. The lyrics just keeps repeating inside my head that I'm going off my mind soon. Nevertheless, I'm taking time off and thinking through everything that I've been through. I need a break!
When You're Gone
lyrics by Avril Lavigne.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were made for each other
out here forever
I know we were
yeah, yeahhh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
-Friday
-1.10pm
I was listening to this song over and over again for the pass few days. I really liked it without even taking notice of the lyrics. Finally, yesterday the lyrics dawned on me that this is what I'm really going through. The lyrics just keeps repeating inside my head that I'm going off my mind soon. Nevertheless, I'm taking time off and thinking through everything that I've been through. I need a break!
When You're Gone
lyrics by Avril Lavigne.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were made for each other
out here forever
I know we were
yeah, yeahhh
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Love confessions
-26-07-2007
-Thursday-
-1.41am-
Well, James saw the previous blog entry and was so touched that this was our conversation in MSN.
Vera: Do you know how much I love you?
James: Yes, I know my baby sayang lovessss me soooooo much n I love you much much more you lil baby
James: I wish whn the time is there, I would wanna make you happy all the time and laughing away
James: My baby so cute
James: I always think of you when I do. Thinking of you makes me so alive
Vera: :)
He is always known to be that romantic guy that will write poems and blog entries when going after a girl. Well, at least that was how he managed to go after me. Hahaha! I recalled when he was chasing after me, he used to always expressed all his feelings through his blog entries or even writing sweet testimonials in friendster! Therefore, I will put up something like his best poems n testimonials...enjoy, have fun and be filled with emotions ya and lastly be touched by it!
First testi after first meet up
=.=" Lame stuff ? The words are kinda deep tho... It can mean one or another kie... We can yada yada yada from sunrise till sunset but we'll never realise it flies so fast. Meetin u for the first time is like knowing u for years back. Yeah u don't look like i would imagine u to be haha. I'll always have the first step towards bullying u. And yeah i remembered how ur aunt 'perli-ed' u for not introducing me hah... And yeah ur grandma... Told u SO !!! Haha... Well ur personality is so 'click' till i dunno where to begin or end. Words can't describe what we've indulged into and will never. I'm so touched with ur passion into Christ and ur 'International Action' thingy... Bout me and my inner stuff ? That's new :D Without u to spark up something, i won't think i'll even shine kie. It takes two to start up something :D Well space is kinda running out so i'll add up when i see fit it kie... Missing u too... HuGgIeS... =^.^=
Last testimonial so far....
Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.
Well, there are supposed to me more testimonials written to me inside friendster but I can't locate it so never mind about it.
Poems written by my lovely James
Friends and lover...
Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.
1.Love On The Internet
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.
When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.
2.Emotions...
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
I don't know why but from time to time I will always look back at these touching and passionate poems. I just love reading it and indulging myself with these love notes. James, I love you always. Without you coming to my life, I won't be as complete like now. You just feel my days with laughter, joy and happiness. I'm just so thankful to God for sending you to me. I'm just so happy........
-Thursday-
-1.41am-
Well, James saw the previous blog entry and was so touched that this was our conversation in MSN.
Vera: Do you know how much I love you?
James: Yes, I know my baby sayang lovessss me soooooo much n I love you much much more you lil baby
James: I wish whn the time is there, I would wanna make you happy all the time and laughing away
James: My baby so cute
James: I always think of you when I do. Thinking of you makes me so alive
Vera: :)
He is always known to be that romantic guy that will write poems and blog entries when going after a girl. Well, at least that was how he managed to go after me. Hahaha! I recalled when he was chasing after me, he used to always expressed all his feelings through his blog entries or even writing sweet testimonials in friendster! Therefore, I will put up something like his best poems n testimonials...enjoy, have fun and be filled with emotions ya and lastly be touched by it!
First testi after first meet up
=.=" Lame stuff ? The words are kinda deep tho... It can mean one or another kie... We can yada yada yada from sunrise till sunset but we'll never realise it flies so fast. Meetin u for the first time is like knowing u for years back. Yeah u don't look like i would imagine u to be haha. I'll always have the first step towards bullying u. And yeah i remembered how ur aunt 'perli-ed' u for not introducing me hah... And yeah ur grandma... Told u SO !!! Haha... Well ur personality is so 'click' till i dunno where to begin or end. Words can't describe what we've indulged into and will never. I'm so touched with ur passion into Christ and ur 'International Action' thingy... Bout me and my inner stuff ? That's new :D Without u to spark up something, i won't think i'll even shine kie. It takes two to start up something :D Well space is kinda running out so i'll add up when i see fit it kie... Missing u too... HuGgIeS... =^.^=
Last testimonial so far....
Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.
Well, there are supposed to me more testimonials written to me inside friendster but I can't locate it so never mind about it.
Poems written by my lovely James
Friends and lover...
Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.
1.Love On The Internet
Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.
But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.
But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.
It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.
My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."
It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.
When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.
2.Emotions...
I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...
Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak
Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe
Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for
To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul
Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side
These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave
Please don't leave...
A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave
So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel
You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for
You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel
The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel
To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...
I don't know why but from time to time I will always look back at these touching and passionate poems. I just love reading it and indulging myself with these love notes. James, I love you always. Without you coming to my life, I won't be as complete like now. You just feel my days with laughter, joy and happiness. I'm just so thankful to God for sending you to me. I'm just so happy........
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Princess and her knight in shinning armour
-24-07-2007-
-Monday-
-11.21am-
3 years and 3 months ago, girl met boy online while chatting on IRC overseas...boy always made girl laughed. Girl felt that boy was so funny and a very nice and friendly guy.
Girl was lonely so girl always chatted in IRC with all her friends back home. Girl added boy in her MSN contacts and from then they kept in touch off and on. Both of them never met before but only through pictures they knew of each other. Time passed and after 1 year girl came back to her own country and from time to time boy would message her and see how girl was. They still never met up due to boy working in another state while girl was in their hometown. All this while, girl only treated boy as a friend. After 1 and a half years of communicating through MSN or sms, they decided to meet up as boy was back in their hometown.
Boy came to girl's house to pick her up that very night...it was a Saturday night, girl was feeling anxious as well as excited while dressing up but was happy that they finally had a chance to meet up. Boy arrived and girl got on the car, girl was surprisingly chatty and immediately clicked on well with boy. They spend every minute of the night chatting and getting to know each other better. Sparks flew and girl started to have a crush on boy without knowing and realizing it. Boy also had the same feeling but repressed it.
Boy came to girl's school every single day after that Saturday and they would have lunch together and would just sit down and yarn and yarn so much till sun set and still wouldn't want to go home. Girl was afraid to have any commitments with boy even though it seemed that boy made the first move to pursue girl. Occasionally, boy would send some lovey dovey messages but girl hesitated at first but one day when girl woke up from sleep, she realized too how much she was in love with boy. She messaged boy to declare her love for him and boy responded in the same manner too.
So, on the 22nd September, boy asked girl to be his girlfriend. Girl in a shy manner asked boy if he was very sure and if he was willing to wait for her because she was till in school. Guy with a very sure and positive manner gazed into girl's eyes and reassured girl that no matter how long it took he would wait for her and be by her side forever. So, from then on, it was no more boy and girl instead they were a couple and a perfect one too. It was known as [V][J] the perfect match.
Finally, girl became the princess she always wanted to be..the girl that is loved so much, the joy and happiness that someone can give her, mostly, the emotional security that she needs. Ever since then, boy became princesses knight in shinning armour. Even though occasionally they would have arguments and fights..well which relationship doesn't face difficulties, they would patch things up and be that happy and awesome couple that everyone envies *winkz*!
Today, princess and her knight in shinning armour celebrates 1 year, 10 months and 2 days being together with sad and happy moments. Gosh, time really flies and we've been together for nearly 2 years and it just seems like yesterday! I love my darling. There's no one else like him. Never found anyone so compatible, and so adorable and the most caring soul in the world. I know he loves me a lot. I've never "belonged" anywhere else. Here I am, Vera[V](Princess) dedicates my love to my dearest boyfriend, James[J](knight in shinning armour) with this song here. Darling, enjoy with all your love and hope that we may be together till eternity. Till then, I love my James!
Artist: Utada Hikaru
Song: First Love
Saigo no kisu wa ka ba tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love songu
Atarashii uta utaeru made
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasuretakunai kotobakari
Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naite iru
Anatawo omotterun darou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love love song
Now and forever
English Translation
In your final kiss
flavor of tabacco i could taste
a bitter and painful smell
about this time tomorrow
i wonder where you'll be at
i wonder who you'll be thinking of
You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one
The frozen time
is about to start
but there are things that i do not want to forget
about this time tomorrow
i know i will be crying
i probably will also be thinking of you
You will always be inside my heart
because it is forever only for you
I hope that i have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one
You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
i'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are alwaya gonna be the one
it is still a sad love song
now and forever
-Monday-
-11.21am-
3 years and 3 months ago, girl met boy online while chatting on IRC overseas...boy always made girl laughed. Girl felt that boy was so funny and a very nice and friendly guy.
Girl was lonely so girl always chatted in IRC with all her friends back home. Girl added boy in her MSN contacts and from then they kept in touch off and on. Both of them never met before but only through pictures they knew of each other. Time passed and after 1 year girl came back to her own country and from time to time boy would message her and see how girl was. They still never met up due to boy working in another state while girl was in their hometown. All this while, girl only treated boy as a friend. After 1 and a half years of communicating through MSN or sms, they decided to meet up as boy was back in their hometown.
Boy came to girl's house to pick her up that very night...it was a Saturday night, girl was feeling anxious as well as excited while dressing up but was happy that they finally had a chance to meet up. Boy arrived and girl got on the car, girl was surprisingly chatty and immediately clicked on well with boy. They spend every minute of the night chatting and getting to know each other better. Sparks flew and girl started to have a crush on boy without knowing and realizing it. Boy also had the same feeling but repressed it.Boy came to girl's school every single day after that Saturday and they would have lunch together and would just sit down and yarn and yarn so much till sun set and still wouldn't want to go home. Girl was afraid to have any commitments with boy even though it seemed that boy made the first move to pursue girl. Occasionally, boy would send some lovey dovey messages but girl hesitated at first but one day when girl woke up from sleep, she realized too how much she was in love with boy. She messaged boy to declare her love for him and boy responded in the same manner too.
So, on the 22nd September, boy asked girl to be his girlfriend. Girl in a shy manner asked boy if he was very sure and if he was willing to wait for her because she was till in school. Guy with a very sure and positive manner gazed into girl's eyes and reassured girl that no matter how long it took he would wait for her and be by her side forever. So, from then on, it was no more boy and girl instead they were a couple and a perfect one too. It was known as [V][J] the perfect match.
Finally, girl became the princess she always wanted to be..the girl that is loved so much, the joy and happiness that someone can give her, mostly, the emotional security that she needs. Ever since then, boy became princesses knight in shinning armour. Even though occasionally they would have arguments and fights..well which relationship doesn't face difficulties, they would patch things up and be that happy and awesome couple that everyone envies *winkz*!
Today, princess and her knight in shinning armour celebrates 1 year, 10 months and 2 days being together with sad and happy moments. Gosh, time really flies and we've been together for nearly 2 years and it just seems like yesterday! I love my darling. There's no one else like him. Never found anyone so compatible, and so adorable and the most caring soul in the world. I know he loves me a lot. I've never "belonged" anywhere else. Here I am, Vera[V](Princess) dedicates my love to my dearest boyfriend, James[J](knight in shinning armour) with this song here. Darling, enjoy with all your love and hope that we may be together till eternity. Till then, I love my James!
Artist: Utada Hikaru
Song: First Love
Saigo no kisu wa ka ba tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love songu
Atarashii uta utaeru made
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasuretakunai kotobakari
Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naite iru
Anatawo omotterun darou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love love song
Now and forever
English Translation
In your final kiss
flavor of tabacco i could taste
a bitter and painful smell
about this time tomorrow
i wonder where you'll be at
i wonder who you'll be thinking of
You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one
The frozen time
is about to start
but there are things that i do not want to forget
about this time tomorrow
i know i will be crying
i probably will also be thinking of you
You will always be inside my heart
because it is forever only for you
I hope that i have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one
You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
i'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are alwaya gonna be the one
it is still a sad love song
now and forever
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