vEr@'s superduper adventures!!

The dying flame...

2011-10-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

I find writing or blogging very therapeutic but i'll only do it when ever I feel like it. So much has been going on recently! I've finally graduated and when I thought that my life will be moving on to the next level, think again coz another part of my life is crashing like the 9/11 World Trade Centre in NY!

6 years of relationship with a person whom you've shared your life with is a long long time and not an easy one to give up on too. Perhaps the distance, perhaps the miscommunications, perhaps anything! I wonder what went wrong?? Right now we are just having some time out and not sure of what the status of the relationship is I decided to call the shots. I'm going to NZ! Yes...I mean it! I don't know when but I'll be going! Ha! What a decision to make. I've been contemplating to go or not for a long long time and recently a church member of mine saw me and something that she said left a very big impact on me. This is what she said :"Vera, you are a very talented young girl, more than you know actually! You will succeed anywhere you are. Just pursue your heart's desire. What is STOPING you from going to NZ?? Wow! This sentence just hit me straight to the head like a slap on the face. What is really stoping me from going over JUST now. I always thought that I'll have to advance in my career first then maybe only go over after 2 years. S0 many thoughts running through my head. How am I going to leave everything here? My parents, my life, my friends, my career?

My heart's desire is to be with you. Yes you! The one and only love of my life.

Dear God, let me find peace in you and when I feel that deep sense of peace, I'll know that is the best decision! :)

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The lord, the lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation." - Isaiah 12:2

Iphones, exams & sheeps....

2011-04-25T02:59:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda stressed up thinking why am I not stress at all for this coming exams? Is it because I've done this crap for the past 4 years and we are just immune to the feeling of anxiety or is it because I have quite many days in between papers to study??

Arggggg.....Stress tak habis-habis!!! Left only 16 days to exams!!!

Watched Red Riding Hood, Source code & World Invasion Battle Los Angeles recently!! All good except red riding hood which was predictable as the director is the same as Twilight. the wolfe in the show is human by day and wolfe by night...this is so Jacob (OMG)!!!

I just turned 25 last week!!! I'm freaking out at the fact I'm a quarter of a century. I feel very much ready to have kids..such weird feeling. Guess it's the hormones playing up! Yes it's true I can't wait to be a mummy. By just looking at Marc's pictures every day makes me smile so I think it's time J makes his move *wink*

Till then...EXAMS!!!!!

Books, eating and hills...

2011-02-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

Started studying at the library today...I guess I had to start some where and once the engine has started it won't stop! The new college library is awesome. However, there are some set backs such as the noise and the distraction from outside. The college should install blinds and also sound proof doors and windows!

I hope tomorrow would be a better and fruitful day! More productive too...

Better stop talking too:)

Must at least finish my notes on Matrimonial Causes Act and Family Law Act in divorces by tomorrow.. MUST!

Friday would be exciting as a group of friends from college including me would be climbing up Broga hill in Semenyih! Gotta wake up at 5am so that we can hike up Broga hill in time for sunrise :)

Sweat

2011-02-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

3 options :

1)Telephone
2)Webcam
3)Email

Can you beat it! James asked me to chose one of these 3 options as to how I would want him to propose to me!!! We were just joking on the phone and I asked him to think of a romantic proposal in which he would propose to me and he cheekily came out with these 3 option =_="...

Guess this guy only speaks IT language...sigh!!! LOL!

Time for mugging

2011-02-12T01:54:00.000+08:00

Gotta start studying...That is what I tell myself EVERYDAY!!! I have exactly 3 months till exams and I personally think I'm already running out of time. Sigh...Why do I feel so lazy everytime the thought of studying comes to mind? I can't go on like this...It's time!

Yet another Valentine's Day without you :(

Lalalalala...I'm waiting for my iPhone 4 *Grins*

19 weeks and counting!!!!

2011-01-09T23:52:00.001+08:00

We have officially 19 weeks to our LLB final exams! I can't believe I'm actually counting. Reason being so is because I'm counting down to the time I meet James so might as well think of my exams as I have to study and sit for my exams even before I fly to NZ to see him.

2011 is going to be yet another better year than 2010 for in Hebrew 11:40 it is said that God gad planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect! Amen!

I'm so looking forward to the great things planned out for me this year. I'm finally graduating and I'm so looking forward to my NZ trip to visit James and also the Thailand trip with the girls :)

Besides, I've also been givent the task to organise my cell group annual trip in September. I can't wait for all the holidays...gonna really burn a big hole in my pocket for all these trips :( I'm already starting to save!

On a lighter note, I'm kinda addicted to the smurf game on my ipod touch. It all started when Carol said that she was hooked so I was curious and decided to download the game. Nothing special bout the game just that it is something like farmville which requires us to harvest berries in order to gain points..*duh*

2011 will be a great year!!!!

My lucky charm

2010-12-30T19:03:00.000+08:00

If you were a charm,
I'll hang you on my charm bracelet.
I'll wear you on my wrist daily,
I'll carry you every where I go,
This will remind me of you all day,
I'll be able to see you all the time!

If only you were a charm,
I'll carry you round and cherish you deeply,
I'll make sure that you are close to my heart,
I'll be able to touch and hold you tightly.

If only you were my lucky charm!!!!!

It's been just over 4 months since you left....
Oh, I can't wait till the day I meet you again ( 6 more months) :(
I just wish you were here!

Ps:// I heart You heaps!!!! XOXOXO

Pandora my love

2010-12-23T00:17:00.001+08:00

I'm touched by the very essence of the content writen in this card

Yay! Finally received my x'mas presents from James. I'm overwhelmed and beyond words! I don't even know how to feel. I'm just too surprised! I thought he send my pressie earlier in the month but he actually only fedex it last Friday and it was a pleasant suprised when I received it Monday morning. First, he said he sent it to my aunt's address then he said it was to my house in Melaka. He actually planned the whole suprise to a whole new level when I got the package while at work. *Screams with exitement*

Pandora Charm Bracelet
1) Evil eye charm - First evil eye bracelet from Turkey that James gave me

I love how James is so thoughtful! He actually gave so much thought when buying this gift. Accroding to him, every charm represents significant events for all the time we've been together. *Cries*.


Mini 14crt gold with 0.05 carat diamond cross charm 2) Cross pendant - First cross swarovski from James

3)Book & 4) mortar hat charm - pre graduation pressie :)


Sorry peeps...Not very clear 5) Chimpanze charm - Our first outing to the zoo & James was born in the year of the Moneky 6) Aeroplane charm - James travels alot so it reminds me of him

The whole set :)

14crt gold with 0.5 carat diamond studded cross pendant


Wow.."Love" his wrapping.LOL! I'm loving the charm bracelet =)

Darling, I'm blessed to have you.

My best friend,
My partner,
My hope,
My joy!

Wishing everyone a very blessed Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The only exception

2010-12-12T20:47:00.000+08:00

The Only exception!
(Glee version)

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
Paramore The Only Exception lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/paramore-the-only-exception-lyrics.html

I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Recently I've become a GLEEK and I find some of their version of songs are so much better than the original ones. I love this version of The Only Execption sang by Racheal in Glee.

Everytime I hear this song it reminds me of YOU. By this Christmas, it will be 4 months since you left for NZ. I can't wait for JUNE! I really can't. Can I just fast forward time? Please God! Plwease...........

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp!!!!

2010-12-06T21:48:00.001+08:00

*Yeh*....It's done! My ticket to NZ is finalised thanks to James. I'm glad that now Air Asia flies to Christchurch, NZ. The only set back is I will have to get a connecting flight to Auckland. Not a biggie but I would have preferred to fly directly into Auckland. The only reason I chose to fly Air Asia was because It was amazingly cheap and also wanted to save some money for James. All in ticket inclusive of meals, 25kg luggage, pre-booked sit with extra leg space and the comfort kit cost only RM968! Ain't that ridiculously cheap?

I really can't wait to see James! I'm so excited *grinning*. This coming trip will be my 3rd trip to NZ. The first was summer 2008, second was winter 2009 and my coming trip will be winter 2011. I've decided to stay for almost 5 weeks this round. My reasons are that I just want to spend real quality time with James and also to visit Lissa and baby. =)

I can't believe we are already in December! This would be my last month at work and I will definitely miss my colleagues. However, comes January I would be back studying as a full-time student. Exams will be start on 11th May and my last will be on the 31st then off I go to Sheep land.

Ps:// I'm all set baby!

Mortar boards flew into the air

2010-11-29T21:26:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to all Brickfields LLB graduates! I'm extremely happy for you guys :) I can't wait to graduate next year with Mun. I REALLY can't wait :) Mun, time will fly and by then it will be our turn to throw our mortar boards to the air.

Our turn shall come..............

Personally, graduation is a time for me to have a sense of achievement. To feel that all the hard work we put in all these years are well paid off. It will be the best part of my life for my parents to witness this proud moment of my life. To see me walk down the aisle and go up stage to receive my scroll*empty at time of receiving*. It will also mean alot to me if James could make it back for my graduation. I always teased him that besides my wedding and proposal, probably my graduation will be the ONLY few occassions that I would receive flowers from him. It's not only for the flowers, I just want my love ones to witness my proudest moment of my life and what more to ask then for my boyfriend to be present. *Fingers cross*

Now, I'm super excited about my Christmas present from James. :) It is meant to be a BIG suprise according to him but he has been enticing me and keeps hinting to me what is it. Ie: Can open and close, has nine parts, like this like that...For sure he is not that good at keeping secrets and surpises. Hehe! Anyway, I can't wait but for now I don't know what to buy for a guy who has basically everything and also that has REALLY expensive taste :(...

Any ideas?

Better than any other Christmas!!

2010-11-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

I'm very blessed to have you in my life & I can't ask for anyone better than you. You're the very special someone that no one could replace because you make my world a very happy place. A BIG hug and kiss for being the most wonderful bf ever! XOXO

Ps:// I love you and miss you very much!

Under my Umbrella..ella...ella

2010-11-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

Singing in the rain

This is like the best song and episode ever of Glee Season2. Blame it on my cousin...I'm officially a GLEEK!!! This song really brings the original Singing in the rain by Gene Kelly from the musical Singing in the Rain to a whole new level. Simply jaw dropping!!! Love the fact they brought in Gwyneth Paltrow into Glee to co-sing with Mr. Shoe. They shoud like totally hook up but unfortunately neh....no sparks flying in the air! The choreography for the whole dance was just awesome not to mention though the whole theme was in black and white and yet they even incorporated the yellow umbrella which makes both Mr. Shoe and Gwyneth look so sexy under it. Hmmmm...I'm loving it!!!

Miss Dior Cherie!!!!

2010-11-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

Dad just told me that he bougt me a Miss Dior Green Cherie perfume from Langkawi Duty free aiport as my Christmas pressie :) Yeah!! Another one to add to my collection of my Dior Jadore Perfume, CK summer and DKNY apple (Broken) :( .

I heart Dior & Dad

I'm sure you guys know that Miss Dior Cherie Eau De Toilette 2010 (PINK) is a new fragrance from Christine Dior. The fresh and elegant floral-chypre pink cherie aims at younger women who enjoy freedom and independence. Transparent notes of freesia and lily of the valley start this spring, feminine composition which lines up accords of jasmine, orange blossom and tuberose.

However, dad bought me last year's Spring Miss Dior Cherie L'Eau Eau De Toilette Spray 50ml/1.7oz

Embraces you with floral, fruity & gourmand notes
Joyful, delicious, refreshing & comfortable to wear
Starts with Bigarade orange, fruity notes
Continues with gardenia, floral notes
Dry down to notes of white musk, patchouli, caramel, dry woods

FYI:
Miss Dior Cherie editions:
Miss Dior Cherie EDP 2005,
Miss Dior Cherie EDT 2007,
Miss Dior Cherie Eau de Printemps 2008,
Miss Dior Cherie Blooming Bouquet 2008,
Miss Dior Cherie L'Eau 2009.
Miss Dior Cherie Eau De Toilette 2010

Reasoning from Dad fro buying MDC L'Eau was because it smells fresh and it is more "ME" rather than this year's MDC which leans towards the floral and fruity side. Haha..

Thanks DAD!!!

*Thanks darling for the Kathmandu bag too*

Big hugs and kisses to dad and darling.

Have you ever really loved a "Man"

2010-11-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

My all time favourite love song is Have you ever really loved a woman by Bryan Adams!! I practically love all his song i.e: Summer of 69, please forgive me, straight from the heart and etc. Really good old songs from the 90's :)

Anyway, had a really good half an hour conversation with darling on the phone. Felt so good just chatting with him :) It feels like just yesterday when he left for NZ but to think about it how time flies as it is almost 3 months already. I'm surpised that I've lasted that long. :( I've got another 7 months plus before we meet but somehow I feel the days to meeting him is getting so close. I can just feel it :)

He promised that this year will be the last time we will ever be apart. He is tyring to make me happy coz I know for a fact it will not happen. I still gotta do my CLP and chamber once I finish my basic law degree. I probably will need another 2 years or more before I am considered a full fledge lawyer. It is unlikely that he will be base in Malaysia anymore except for short holidays so looks like we will need to stick it out for another 2 years being apart :(

How do you know if he/she is the one? Somehow I just know! Love was just made for you and me. Darling, the days are long and I can't stop thinking bout you every second. I know you feel the same way too. We just have to stick it through and have faith that everything will work out just fine.

****Family law is killing me softly ****

Thailand "Backpacking" Trip

2010-11-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

Oh I can't wait for next year!!! I will be finally graduating and will be taking the opportunity to go on my well deserved holiday :)

July - August (1 month) - Will be flying to NZ to meet my darling and then traveling down to the South Island visiting Lisa and baby! *Hope Carol will be able to join me then we shall have a road trip all over NZ :)

September 6 - 13 - Me and my bunch of girlfriends from school days would be going on a backpacking trip to Thailand. Not literally backpacking but will be traveling to a few places in Thailand. Our plan for now is to take a train all the way to Hat Yai and stay for a few days then head on to Bangkok via train or bus. From there we would be using Bangkok as a hub and take day tours to Ayutthaya (Ancient City), Kanchanaburi (Border to Myanmar) and etc. I would love to go to the beaches as well :) The real reason why we wanted to take the train to Thailand is because it's an experience we would never do once we start working and why not? I think it would be so much fun. I seriously can't wait :) We knew we would be shopping loads so we decided to fly back via Air Asia. It was really timely for Air Asia to have their annual RM0 fare tickets...We managed to get Bangkok-KL (One way ticket) for only RM156. Oh happiness :) Thanks to Carol and Ita!

Next year seems like a long time more but before I can go on any holiday, will need to start mugging on my books and pass the exams first :(

I miss you so much that I can literally cry *sobz sobz*

Emotional Coma

2010-10-29T00:25:00.001+08:00

I'm missing you badly :(

I'm incapable of structuring my thoughts as how to describe the feeling of missing you. I'm only capable of only using word but sometimes words just don't do justice to how a person is feeling!

Another 8 months to go....That seems pretty long at this moment. I guess that will just do for now...Counting down the day till we meet again :)

Por que? Tenho muito saudades de voce. Grande Beijos e abracos. XOxoxxoXO

5 years & 1 month

2010-10-22T16:26:00.000+08:00

Well....I'm not kiasu in counting the days, months and years I've been with him. I know my previous post I said that what's the point in counting when you know that we will be together forever. Yeah , I know I said that but I can't help but to feel that Wow...we've been together for so long already.. 5 years!!! Looking back , time really flies! :)

So now it's the 5th year...8th year then 20th year and so on......

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'”
-Robert Browning-

The little black dress

2010-10-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

I bought a dress!!!! A black one to say. I'm never a black person...I've always bought clothes in other colours and not black! I was at little black book, Hartamas and came across a black dress and the design was superb. It is seldom that you come across an empire line little black dress nowadays. I loved it so much but I didn't have black in mind. I immediately asked the salesgirl if she had some other colour other than black..sadly I was so disappointed when she said NO! Nevertheless, I tried on the dress. Syazmeen was quite insistent that I buy the dress as it really fitted me nicely. Wow!!! I can't believe I could fit into an M size....*grinning*. Thanks to the diet :) However, I'm still not too happy bout my ~~*Butt*~~. More exercise needed but I think it will be quite hard to have a smaller butt as I come from a family of big butt and big thighs genes. The price wasn't that bad. It was reasonable..only RM39.90.

The rest is history. I finally bought the dress. You know the saying that every girls closet has to have a black dress? I actually do own a black dress but it's a long one so I decided why not just get a knee lenght black dress this time...Yeah!!! I got a dress to wear for the PRCAM dinner at MO :)

Hollywood diet

2010-10-09T22:52:00.000+08:00

I've been just sipping juice and drinking cabbage soup through out the whole week and I've lost 2kg so far :)

This is happiness yet crazy!!! I need to go back to an average of 55kg. 2 kg more then toning up!

Yes..I need to be able to fit into my dresses again ^_^

It's a torture to go on a diet but for the sake of beauty, we girls would do anything..

Baby can I hold you

2010-10-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

Baby can I hold you
"i'm sorry,"
It's all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "sorry" (like "sorry"..like "sorry"..)
"forgive me,"
Is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like "forgive me" ("forgive me"..."forgive me"..)
Forgive me..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

I love you
Is all that you can say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily (words don't come easily..)
Like "i love you", I love you..

But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(baby can I hold you...)
But you can say, baby
Baby can I hold you tonight?
Baby, if I told you the right words
Oooh, at the right time
You'll be mine

(baby, if I hold you..)
(baby, can I hold you..) you'll be mine..
(baby if I told you..)
(baby, can I hold you..)
You'll be mine..
(baby if I told you..)
Baby, can I hold you.

Ps:// Baby you can't just choose one, if you want both, then you have to learn how to balance out your time coz I miss you too much! I will not make you choose...Ultimately it's your choice but just so you know, I'm here!

Awessssooooomenessssss!

2010-10-04T20:49:00.002+08:00

I think this guy really has alot of talent! I admire people like this. At first, I thought this will be the typical ABC who doesn't know Chinese but I was so impressed by his cover of Lee Hom's song. Can't have enough of his songs now...I'm so addicted to Jason Chen :). He is such a heart breaker!

Now...I too have to find what is my hidden talent!

Cheat my feelings

2010-10-03T20:42:00.000+08:00

I've recently come to realize that you can never put your hopes and expectation on someone so much becasue there will come a time that you will feel disappointed if that expectation is not met. We can only trust in God because our heavenly father will never ever fail us..Just believe and pray!

It's been a week that I'm feeling down. I know I should never let my emotions be affected by others and yet this is happening to me becasue it really matters to me esp when it has got to do with someone you love and care very much for. You asked me to understand and think about your feelings. I'm proud to say that I've changed alot and been more understanding and considerate. Since you wished for me to see things from your point of view, have you ever thought about my feelings? I'm all alone here without you. I only asked for you to call me or the very least text me once in a day. I think it is only fair we make compromises. Don't you think it's fair? I've gone through alot lately and been thinking hard about our relationship. If you can't even give me 5 minutes of your time in a day, then do you even have the time to spend the rest of your life with me?

I'm a girl, I'm a beautiful one, I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm loving and most of all I'm your gf. I'm nothing close to being irritating, disturbing or a bugging gf . If you see or feel this as who I am then you don't know how to appreciate me for who I am. No one loves you more than I do..*exclusion clause..your MUM, DAD & GOD*. All I'm asking is to treat me better, with respect and love. I just need reassurances from you. It makes a different because you are so far away. I only want you to have some form of communication with me. Don't forget, my only way of communication with you is by phone. I can't swim or fly to NZ anytime to see you. My way of "lepas rindu" is to only talk to YOU and when I say YOU means a proper reciprocal conversation. Not just you listening to me talk. At times, It's nice to have someone be concern and ask how was my day and just to see how I am...It would be nice:)

Men are from Mars.....

2010-09-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

I hate it why men are so diffferent from women in the emotional and communication aspect. Honesty, men do not know how we, women think! They know nothing! They do not know how we feel, even if we are disappointed or sad. They just don't catch these emotions.

Guys as they are...Top 10 list
1) Guys don't realize a simple text message makes a different.
2) Guys think that by not telling us something to not make us worry but in fact it actually worry us more.
3) Guys can compartmentalise their feelings and not think of us.
4) Guys think by giving lip service on how much they love us will do, we need to see it too.
5) Guys are egoistic beings. Naturally are.
6) Guys think that buying flowers is a waste of money.
7) Guys always think that we are complaining but in fact we are just telling them how we feel.
8) Guys always use the lame excuse of being busy and can't or won't call us.
9) Guys always thinks we are DISTURBING them.
10) Guys will never appreciate a girl not until they loose her.

I seriously cannot understand when you say you are busy. In terms of work, I do but busy the whole day? Don't you have lunch breaks? Toilet breaks? Dinner breaks? Ciggies breaks? You can't even give me 5min out of 24 hours? Is 5 minutes even too much to ask? Do you think I am unreasonable? I've waited 4 days for you to call me. I dare not call you in fear that I will disturb you. Every night I wait in excitement for your call because you always call me before you sleep. I texted you but to no avail...I will never get a reply. The most astounding text I ever got is "I'm very tired, going to sleep now. Will call you tomorrow!". You mean you have no more energy for your voice to come out to talk to me or is it that you are lazy to talk to me since you are very tired. You promise me every day that you will call me at night before you sleep and when I remind you, you answer me in a very irritated tone. Promises are just promises and it will always be broken. I don't know if I can trust you anymore when you say you will call me later. If tomorrow you don't call me, then I fear that you would have created a wall in our relationship. I know long distance relationships are never easy and alot of compromises have to be made to please both parties but it takes 2 to tango and I can't be the only one here holding on to the fort. You need to play your part too. I've never been so disappointed and upset before. I've never shed as many bucket of tears before and cry myself to sleep. I'm just speechless at your attitude towards our relationship.

God I need your strenght to pull me through. Amen!

Saudades

2010-09-29T01:22:00.000+08:00

Saudades in portuguese means Miss but its not an accurate translation because there isn't a correct word to really explain the meaning of the word saudade. It is something more than just missing someone. It's a passionate word with deep meaning.

Today's post is about great people that came into my life, be it friends since school days, or some that I've know along the way in college or even friends that i've only known for not too long. You all have touched me in various ways...be it by your act of kindness, your generosity, kindness and self-less ways....I love you guys very much. I'm touched and grateful that I have such wonderful friends in my life...few that will go all out to genuinely help you and just be there as a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. Thank you :)


M & M

Mellissa, though I've only known you for 2 years, I'm so grateful and touched for all that you've done for me and James. Be it your generosity in hosting us and buying clothes for me all the times :) or your kind and caring ways towards us. Though we chat almost every day...I miss you so much. Can't wait to see you next year in NZ. I've known you like forever. Always listening to stories from Caroline about her cousin, Mellissa since secondary school days. Never did I imagine that I would treat you like my sister and someone that I look up to. As a person, you showed me all the good attributes that a person should be and I wanna be like you. Mellissa and Melvyn, thank you for just being there.


Carol & Ita with a breathtaking view of Bali

Carol oh Carol...I've known you like since when? Hmmm....since Form 1. Can't believe it has been that long. Time does fly huh! Thanks for sticking by me through everything and being such an understanding person. I would have had such a terrible experience in school had it not been you being there for me. From helping me see the board when I couldn't see and also always putting up with my self-made lyrics that I used to sing in class. Haha...
Though I've hurt you before because of my blunt ways, you always forgave me. I'm sorry for being too straight forward at times...I guess you know me and accept me for who I am..I'm trying to better myself too. Thanks for all the lovely meal that you belanja-ed me. I promised that when I'm a successful lawyer, Abalone and sharksfin --- I belanja you! No problem ok.. :) Don't forget, the Maid of Honour's place will always be kept for you unless you reject it la..

Ita, our friendship wasn't a smooth path per say. I remembered when we first knew each other, we were always at each others head. I guess friendship is not something that you cultivate over night. It's a process of getting to sync and adapt to each person's idiosyncrasies and ways. I'm glad we became close around 3 years ago.

Thank you Carol and Ita for being such great friends! There are much more things I would love to say but at times words can never give justice to the things you both have done for me. What would I do without you guys?


We girls at 21 tables + terrace

Jo, you are one of a kind. You are considerate, you are patient, you are kind, you are hardworking, you are warm...you are everything I want to be. Thanks for lending your ears all the time. You speak words of wisdom all the time and you never fail to show me a different perspective of life. You never impose your ways on others and you always make a point to remind us that everyone are just different. Jo, by God's grace, you will go far! This is my prayer for you:)

Mun, my other half! Why my other half? It's because we are quite alike. We speak too loud, we speak too much, we speak too fast! We look young and never look our age. People always think we are still 18. Haha. We gossip like nobody's business and laught too much in class till we kena la scolding from the TAXI UNCLE ..Hehehehe

Amy, the sweet one. You are the organiser of the group. You are the leader. You know when I'm feeling down, you are the one that can always sense something is not right..I can't believe I'm having a writer's block just thinking of what to write about you. I can tell you though I'm stuck here with words, my heart about you feels right. I know you are a great friend. I can sense it too :)

Girls, a BIG thanks to 3 of you. With all the different attributes and characters, you girls make very good bridesmaids and organisers for my wedding...:)

During my visit to NZ in 2008 Summer

Lastly, to the one I love. Thanks for sticking by me through thick and thin. I need not elaborate further ya. You know what I mean la..:) I love you!

ps:// written in no particular order ya :)

We'll be a dream......

2010-09-27T15:05:00.000+08:00

I particularly love this part

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

Basically I love the whole song!

I wanna dream....have BIG DREAMS...without dreams there would not be goals and achievement...so why not?

Overindulging in Mooncakes

2010-09-23T12:31:00.000+08:00

Time to hit the gym this week...been having all sorts of flavoured mooncakes within the span of 2 weeks and not to mention great food since was squatting at aunts place for a couple of days. Last week, uncle bought some mooncakes from Resort World Genting Singapore. Tried some with Lotus and salted egg yolk. I'm not a big fan of mooncakes with egg yolk so it didn't really leave an impression. This week, boss brought some pure lotus mooncake from Mandarin Oriental Hotel..I must say it is so far the best I've ever tried.The paste was smooth and the pastry was very light. Not to mention that is was not very sweet. Yesterday, went to aunt's house for Mid Autumn Festival dinner and ate more mooncakes from Concorde Hotel. Let see she bought 1 big box that came with 6 small mooncakes with different flavours. There were mix nuts, lotus paste with egg yolk, charcoal yam, pandan, lemon and hmmm...gosh I forgot what's the other flovour. Anyway, we only opened the lotus paste with egg yolk, Pandan and Lemon ones. Personally I thought it was not that fantastic but since aunt bought it at 30% I guess it's worthwhile. I thought the mooncake craze and nightmare was over not until when I came in to the office this morning that Boss offered more mooncake. This time she brought Tiramisu and blackberry flavoured mooncakes...It's so tempting since it is just left outside. Guess just have to wait for someone to "officiated" the opening of the mooncakes then I'll just take a tini-wini bit..

Let see, for the pass week since I was staying at aunts place as Dad came down for a course. My other aunt from Melaka came along and *yum yum* had delicious & glorious home cook food. In a span of 3 days, I had sambal udang, fried gragau, ginseng soup, beggars chicken, sweet & sour fish, chicken chop, pumpkin soup, mash potato, salad and pasta.

Yes, it's time to go back to gym screaming *aarggggg*. Need to watch the expansion of my waist line, hips & ~~buttocks~~ :(.Guess I have to go back to my diet and no carbo at nights.

I guess I have to tell you this, I'm really sorry If I will hurt you but I've decided to break our perfect relationship.

I don't wanna ever see you again!

Bye-bye FOOD!

The journey of faith

2010-09-22T13:40:00.004+08:00

This is an ancient pic during the early days of our relationship

It has been exactly 5 years since we first met. The memories are crystal clear as to what you were wearing during our first date and also what our conversation were. I remembered you wearing the Seed shirt with jeans, Rolex watch and also your police boots. My heart was racing while waiting for you to pick me up. Well after all it was my first date, I'm entitled to feel nervous and yet excited at the same time.

Fast forward 5 years, here we are still together and I know I love you more and more as each day passes. I admit our journey is no fun fair. It's not smooth, it's not happy all the time, there are ups and downs occasionally but yet we managed to concur all of our differences, understanding each other better. Love is self-less! Sacrificing is part of the game..We don't complaint but go all out to pleased our partners.

Though we are apart all the time, I guess this is how our relationship gets better. As a saying goes.."If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart." It's true! Every time I hear your voice, I feel you close and near to me. I look forward to that very call everyday. Anyway, I can't deny the fact I miss you every day but I'm strong and I know I can survive through this ordeal. Just looking forward to get my LLB Degree and doing my CLP. :)

Celebrating his 30th birthday this year :)

Darling, I just want to say I will hold your hand till the ends of our life. I will love, cherish and appreciate you in every possible way. I'm sorry If I previously hurt you so deeply. Every day is a learning process for us to strive to be a better person and I want to do it with you. You once said that we have a long road to go and that you would want to walk it with me.. Fate brought us together and I have faith that the Big Man above knows what is best and has great plans for us in the future. Right now, right here...I just want to wish you a very Happy 5th Anniversary. I don't know why am I even counting the years as if it really matters. What matters most is I know we have along way and more years to go so why count in the first place. I know we will always be together despite what may come our way.

Ps:// You said you loved me for these 5 years...I will say I've loved you for 5 years and will love you forever!

What if......

2010-09-17T17:58:00.000+08:00

What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will.".

Love the letter that Sophie wrote to Claire in the movie " Letters to Juliet". Personally, It was really touching and emotional for me not to mention romantic.

It really reminds me of you.

Bad days, I feel you slipping through my fingers..
I feel I'm so far away from you that I don't matter anymore.
I feel lonely
I'm afraid I won't recognise you and your touch.
Your smile, touch and your face is constantly running in my brain.

Good days, I know you're there.
You are the reason I look forward to my final year.
Everyday I can't wait for your call
The excitement of hearing your voice makes me wanna....
Though it really hurts to be far away from you,

I know it's the best for our future so be Happy :)

It's another 5 days to our 5th Anniversary of which we only celebrated 2 years as you were away for the rest and this year is no different. Well, it's just a number and since we will be together for many more years to come so why count in the first place. :)

Oh, will be starting class tomorrow *excites*. Can't believe I will be a final year student. All my hard work for the pass few years will be paid off real soon...

DIGI Malaysia day advert

2010-09-14T23:03:00.001+08:00

Absolutely loved this advert. It's genuine, cool, awesome and brilliant! Who doesn't like sambal? If you don't then you're not Malaysian. :)

Well done DIGI!!!

The untitled emotion......

2010-09-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Why do people procrastinate?

Everyone procrastinates to some degree so it's normal but when you've asked someone for something for like 3 -4 times and yet it's not done, it gets kinda irritating to have to keep asking for it. No one likes being nagged and vice versa.

Definition frm Wikipedia

Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.^[1] Schraw, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.^[2]
Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.

I really don't mind if a person procrastinates because I do it too. We are humans and we are definitely not perfect. Yes, it can be annoying, irritating and frustrating but definitely not anger. However, if the task is really time sensitive and of great importance, it really gets on my nerves but what can I say especially if that person is your love ones. Day by day I just have to remind him and of course he will say yes...yes...yes but the task is never done. Actually it's not even difficult to do it. I used to get really angry but it has now turned into disappointment because I feel what I'm asking can be done within 5 minutes and telling me you are busy is just an excuse. Moreover, what I'm asking will eventually be part of something for you. I wanted to keep it as a surprise but I had to tell you it's for you and I thought by doing so it will speed up the process...I was wrong. How difficult can it be?

I just have to be patient and wait....just wait and wait!

Damn it.......

All I need is just an address to send a card to you. *sobz*

Brasil, minha segunda casa!!!!

2010-09-08T01:14:00.000+08:00

The title translated simply means Brazil, my second home in portuguese.


Amirul and I at the All American Reject's concert

Amirul and I, we've planned to go back to Brazil in 2014 for the football worldcup which would be held in Brazil. For obvious reasons, he loves football and would die to go back to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the worldcup live. As for me, football isn't my cup of tea but since he has plans to return to Brazil during that time, so why not just tag along as a companion and also to visit all my beloved friends and host families. Oh....for those who doesn't know, Amirul and I were previously exchange students to Brazil in 2004 - 2005 under the Rotary Youth Exchange Programme.


Belle and me in front of the then Eye of Malaysia

Memories of Brazil still lingers in my mind all the time. The memories are still fresh and I deeply miss my host families. Fortunately, I've met my host sister, Marina twice in Malaysia as she is a air stewardess with Emirates Airlines and will catch every opportunity for a flight to Malaysia to visit me. I've also met with Cibelle, my first English speaking friend in Brazil which became 1 of my closest friend ever. She was doing a backpacking trip in Asia few years back and managed to stop by Malaysia and as usual I played host to her.

Gemma brought me to One Tree Hill in Auckland

I hope to see my other youth exchange friend in Brazil in 2014. Perhaps I shall start contacting them to make sure everyone return to Brazil then and we shall have a mini gathering. The first exchange student that I got to know and eventually became 1 of my closest friend like forever...GEMMA! She was different from others. I immediatelly clicked with her and we did everything on our Northeast Trip for 1 month. I was so happy I managed to visit her in New Zealand last year and we managed to catch up and she brought me round Auckland. We were just so glad we actually got to meet up after 4 years since leaving Brazil.

Kofi, Kate and me posing in front of the famous Christ the Redeemer in Riode Janeiro

Hmmmm....Ok that was about Gemma. Next on the list should be about Kofi, from South Africa and Kate from Australia. I missed them alot. Both of them were my besties after the Northeast Trip. We sang in the bus, sat together, hung out together...did everything possible together. Both of them were great friends but sadly after returning to our home country, we hardly keep in contact though both are listed in Fb as my friends. Looks like it's about time to reunite the gang...2014-Brazil seems to be the perfect year, perfect time and perfect place to meet up.

Esti from Indonesia

Esti was my best friend in Brazil as she lived in Sao Paulo with me. Kofi and Kate were staying in different states really far away from me so it was quite hard for me to visit them constantly. Both of us did quite alot of activity together, from shopping to sleeping over and etc. Que Saudade (Missing her). Though Indonesia is so near to Malaysia, sadly we never met up too.

Exchange students from various contries

Finally, a group of exchange students from various countries during some event we took part. I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone in Brazil in 2014. I guess then will be a good time to meet up as everyone would have graduated and working. I remembered Kofi, Kate and me, the 3 of us had come out with some adventurous plan that we would visit each other in our respective countries and would take turns every year. Hmm....well it's always easy to talk and plan but execution is always the hardest part...

2014...I'm counting down :)

Coffee, tea or me?

2010-09-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

Poems written by Mr. J

Friends and lover...

Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.

1.Love On The Internet

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.

When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.

2.Emotions...

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

Those were the days when J was going after me. Guess he didn't know how to express himself but to blog bout it and to let me stumble accross his blog. I would say this again and again that I'm so blessed to have him in my life as my pillar of strengh, my listening ear where I seek solace and also a place where I can find comfort. Thank you for just being there.

Espana....my dream honeymoon destination!!!

2010-09-06T02:41:00.000+08:00

Funny how I thought of you as I was watching some travelling and cooking show on Spain! I can't help to think about you every single time I see something that is associated with ESPANA! Barcelona, Madrid.....

Every since you worked in Spain for 4 months, I've begun to fantasized of going to Spain to see the wonderful Sagrada da Familia and all the other breathe taking architecture that is of Antonio Gaudi's work. After listening to all the interesting stories of your adventures in Barcelona, Spain, I've begun to completely fall in love with that city, country. Every since going to Brazil and being able to converse in Portuguese, I've always wanted to learn Spanish as it is more widely spoken compared to Portuguese. Perhaps, ESPANA will be the best place... :)

I will never forget Spain as it was the first country you went for work and the longest away from me before New Zealand. You went for 4 months and I thought it was HELL but you never know what surprises may come next. Before I knew it you were going to NZ for 6 months. It was painful..haha..You know there is a saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", I don't know...I feel its more like 'Absence makes the heart more painful". Haha...Now, you have yet gone to another country far far away from me for God knows how long...Yeah yeah think long term as I said in my previous blog post!

Back to Espana, gosh I think I could live there forever...All the wonderful and glorious food! Hmmmmm....Paelas, Tortillas, Hamons and etc...Yum Yum!!

Before I've always wanted Maldives to be my Honeymoon destination but in recent years...Huh I've got myself a new place..~~*a hint to Mr. Tan*~~ ..Ooops...

Ps:// I love you more and more as the days go by

Everyday I love you

2010-09-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

I've been sick for almost 2 weeks...I don't know why the cough and sore throat just hasn't gone way! I think my life has gone from boring to dull...far beyond dull i think. My daily routine is just work, home, watching movies and sleep. Not much of a life huh...I guess not much for my final year.

I can't stop thinking bout you everyday. I know we've always been apart such as Mlk and KL but this year we've always seen each other every fort night and so I feel kinda off the track knowing that you are so far away. I can't seem to put my emotions right. It's only almost 2 weeks but I feel like it has been 2 years what more another 10 months...gosh I can't wait.

Baby, the only thing I look forward to everyday is the time when we speak on the phone or chat on the MSN. *emo* sial.

I'm just glad that you are back to work and you said that you are doing this for our future...so yeah I got to sacrifice all this shitty emotions of mine and think long term.

Ps:// I love you!!!!!

Nevereverland

2010-08-31T12:12:00.000+08:00

Don't really have the mood to blog about anything. Being sick is no joke! Having a really bad throat and cough as well. I didn't have much sleep yesterday. Sigh! I miss you dear! Yes, even though it is just a phone call away but it's not the same not having you around so easily ie: to fix my comp, to sycn my ipod, to check my phone and just messing round with all the electronic gadgets. I'm not saying I don't know how to do it myself. It's just that you've always enjoyed doing it and I rely so much on you that now you are not here, things just seems different.

I hope that you settle down soon and your work will go smoothly. Don't stress too much k. I will here anytime you need someone to talk to. I can't wait for next year when I get to meet you. Though it's almost a week since you left and I'm already thinking about next year. Haha..Can't wait to graduate then we can do so many things together such as my long awaited road trip :)

I Love you!

IT IS YOU!!!

2010-08-30T09:46:00.000+08:00

IT IS YOU!!!

YES.....IT IS YOU~~~~~

IT IS YOU!!!!

ps:// Stop speculating and being in denial of the truth.

The betrayer of my feelings

2010-08-29T17:01:00.000+08:00

I've been too nice! Yes, I have. I defended you when everyone shunned and spoke ill of you. I told them that perhaps if they got to know you better, they would have had a different perspective of you. I was there for you when you had relationship problems, when you just needed a listening ear and just someone to talk to. I was there when you were at your worst, when you were stressed and when you just needed to come over to see me. I supported you all the way by encouraging you even though I disagreed with certain things you were doing.

I treated you as a friend! I genuinely thought that I could equally share my darkest and deepest secrets with you and not be judged by you behind my back. You think you could hold me in your fist and control me by confirming gossips about me and perhaps even spreading them? To Ms. X, if you wanted to be two-faced, at least make one pretty but unfortunately with that bubbly nose of yours, stop thinking you are that hot and way smarter than others. You even despise others who do better than you in exams. We are all friends! You should be happy for them. Common...wake up la!!! I wonder if your bf even knows of your behaviour and character. It's a disgusting habit of yours to gossip.

During my birthday party some years back, you made my organiser think that everyone won't be attending as you couldn't attend. What were you thinking? Am I really a threat that you had to make sure everyone wouldn't be able to attend? Subsequently, you had the nerves to go round gossiping about me. Do you think I would care how people would think about me? I've come to accept myself for who I am. So tell me, im so curious, what do you gain from spreading gossips about me? Self satisfaction or just to boost your self-esteem? I find that only people with low self-esteem will go to that extend to speak ill about a person just to make themself feel better. To gain power over a person...

I felt betrayed!!! I thought you were my friend. A sincere friend per say. It hurts that you were capable of doing such a thing to me just because you could. I made a wrong decision by trusting you when everyone warned me. I disregarded others for you. You know what? I'm numb now as I don't feel anything for you. Loosing you as a friend donesn't mean anything to me as I can assume that you never sincerely cared and treated me as a friend. You were always there so you could digged more of my secrets and use them against me. From now on, you have no power over me..I feel liberated! Yes..pls don't even dare to come into my life and try to be nice and all as now I know your true colours.

I'm not going to harp and dwell about you in my blog as you don't worth that much glory to be even in my blog post. What I can say for now is that you seriously lack self-esteem. Please do something about it if not you shall be loosing people close to you. Take time to realise all your wrong doings before it is too late!!

Cherries....cherries & cherries

2010-08-26T22:30:00.001+08:00

I will try to blog every single day so you won't miss out on my everyday life back here in Malaysia. Though you might be far far away but when we both look up into the sky, out hearts are actually beating as one. *aiyo so cheesy*.

The distance and the fact I won't be seeing you for 10 months hasn't kicked in yet. I still feel fine. Haha. To be honest, I was more esthetic bout my results which I knew on Tuesday morning the day u left. I guess I got caught up with the results rather than feeling sad that you were leaving.

The very day you left, I fell sick. I was coughing non stop and found it very difficult to breathe. Today, I'm having a very bad throat and feeling feverish. My whole body is aching. I guess I'm coming down with a fever. Friends say this is call love sick...Haha.

I was worried sick bout you today! I prayed so hard whilst driving to work with shaky hands. I'm just relieved that you are fine and that everything will be ok.
I can't wait to visit you. Hence the title of this post...Cherries came to mind!

Love you and I can't wait for classes to start and join the rest of my fellow warriors to battle. This year we will strive in our studies and get even better results :)

Cupcakes.bananas.chocolates & you

2010-05-22T23:56:00.007+08:00

I realized I've not blogged for almost 1 and a half years and didn't even give much thought to the existence of my blog. Somehow instead of studying today, I spend the whole day reading minishorts . I find much joy in just reading each of her post. I prefer her blog to other blogs such as Ringo (Cheesy) and smashpop. I do not seem to understand the need of cam whoring with all those lala outfit and make up and also the use of broken English. I agree that my English is not 100% perfect either but at least I don't brag and boast about myself. I like minishorts as her entries are original, meaningful, intellectual and partly because I feel I can really connect to what she writes.

This year we will make the big 5 years together. Of course, ours is actually a very normal relationship. Slowly the ferocious flames of 'just-in-love' slows down, and the huge bonfire is now a calm flame giving just enough light to warm up our lives. Corny I know, but I'll also say this. It's not easy to keep the flame going. In recent months, it's getting harder to tolerate his idiosyncrasies, and I quite believe he feels the same way too. However, I know the fact is that we still love each other to bits.

Some people wonder why I put up with James, and likewise I wonder why he puts up with me. I know in our heads, we are Mr. right and Ms. right. I know, he wants an independent and confident girl who does not cry all the time or calls every few hours in a day and one who will often agree with every thing he says with no questions ask. Unfortunately, I'm strong-headed, very self opinionated, inquisitive, egoistic on the outside( which Chinese doesn't want face) but on the inside very emotional and crumbles easily. Apparently, I'm argumentative as well...

Truth to be told, relationships are just like roads. The new roads are smooth, squeaky clean and definitely an easy way to drive on but once it comes 5 years like ours, it will have potholes, gravels & sand and it will be such a bitch to just drive on it. The only way is to repave the road and go from there. The analogy of the road gives me great meaning. Our repaving of the road took place this year with deeper meaning and more promises and commitment to make it work.

I know this man, right now, he's just right for me. I'm not sure if he's going to be just right for me forever, but I do hope so. I have bigger plans for the future with him and through God we shall be there to the end of this road.

Darling, as our relationship matures, it is just like wine as it gets better and better through time. I pray that we will always remember our "2005 vintage" as it will be better and stronger as time passes.

Driveless

2009-02-05T23:50:00.002+08:00

-5th February 2009
-Thursday
-11.53pm

Another day has come to an end. Back in KL currently but I'm still having the new year mood. This year or rather for the past 6 months, I just attended class like a robot, went for tutorials as usual but how much I actually absorbed into my brain is a different issue. I didn't do any assignments and sometimes skipped a few classes. I am lazy this whole term and driveless as well. I have no push and drive to do anything.

Exams are in May and honestly I don't really have much time left but still I feel darn lazy to open the books to study. Sometimes thinking bout the exam fees does scare me...paid RM 4 K plus for it and tuition fees for 1 year is RM 5.5 K. With that in mind, I guess I should really study and not waste that money.
I was happy and contented beginning of last year till my exams as J was always or most of the time by my side. His trips to China and HK usually were 2 to 3 weeks max and he will be with me another 2 to 3 weeks or more before he flies to his next destination. I was happy with that arrangement. My mind was free from missing him and I was happily doing my revision while waiting for his return.

I know I sound pathetic because everything about me revolves around only J...J...and J. It's not really true but I would say my life would just crumble without J. Ever since J started working in NZ, I knew my life and our relationship was going to take a terrible turn. J has never ever stayed in any country for such a long period of time and being girls..like they say girls intuition, I knew that somehow J was going to be there for a very long time and no doubt J mentioned the other day he might need to be in NZ for at least 1 to 2 years. My whole life crashed as soon I heard that. I kept quiet but I was crying. I was in grieve. I am too now as I blog. I don't know how I am going to pull through my exams but I just got to.

Depression

2009-02-02T17:02:00.002+08:00

-2nd February 2009
-Monday
-5.03pm

I'm so bored back home in Melaka but hey, I get to save lots by eating at home and not paying for anything when we go out to eat. It just dawned on me today why lately I've been putting on back my weight again is perhaps I'm just sad. For the last six month after J left for NZ, I put on the kilos slowly by slowly.First it was 1 kg then 2 kilos fluctuating between there and now after the NZ trip I lost 2 kilos then now New Year and I weigh myself today and got a shock. I'm 58 kilos. OMG! I used to weigh 51 kilos during my secondary school days and after graduation, I started to put on weight till around 57 kilos. Later, I went on a Youth Exchange Programme to Brazil for 1 year and before I knew it, I came home weighing around 63 kilos. I thought I could loose weight again but somehow the good food in Malaysia made me even fatter till 65 kilos. Occasionally, my weight would fluctuate all the way till 67 kilos. Then, I decided I am not going to live like this forever. I wanted to look good, I wanted to be able to get clothes easier, I wanted to make my bf proud to have a beautiful gf so I got myself into a slimming programme as soon as I got to KL to study.
It was then I slowly shed the kilos and after around 8 months I was weighing 52 kilos and I thought I was the happiest person on earth. I gained self confidence and I could just walk into a shop and getting clothes was much easier. My weight fluctuated to around 54 to 55 kilos and I was still quite happy with it. Then it all started when I had exam stress and J left for NZ my weight would fluctuate up and down. I went for treatment regularly but I know I did not have any more discipline. I was depressed, stressed, sad and just down all the time. Food was my only way of comfort and happiness. After my NZ trip I was like 58.7. I was shocked to the maximum. I went for treatment and came out at the weight of 57.6 kilos. I finally dropped to 57 kilos but who can imagine Chinese New Year was just round the corner. Aiyo, now I dare not even try to weigh myself. I drank the slimming coffee everyday without fail till I got my nose bleed as it is quite heaty. I didn't eat carbo at night and I ate so much fruits and vegetables but still I have no idea how I was able to put on weight. Pathetic !!!!
As soon as I go back to KL , I need to be really on crash diet. I don't want to go back being the old me though J likes me that way better (he said better to hug) but I don't care. I'm doing it for myself.

Hot & Cold

2009-01-30T03:09:00.003+08:00

-30th January 2008
-Friday
-3.12 am

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

by James Tan

J doesn't do this kinda lovey dovey romantic stuff for me anymore :( No more loving smses or messages. After 6 months of the relationship guys usually change. Time flies, it's been 3 years and 4 months and we are still standing strong in this relationship. As J said, all we need is faith..yes faith! However, sometimes the distance is really killing me inside. So, whatever...one thing I would dearly wish for is for time to go back to 3 years and 4 months ago :)

Thanks baby for getting the DKNY perfume and the Ipod touch as my Christmas Pressie. Not forgetting the NZD 500 gift voucher from Max to spend. Love you lots.

You & I both

2009-01-28T14:49:00.011+08:00

-28th January 2009
-Wednesday
-2.51pm

I'm bored...seriously bored. 3rd day of new year and I'm bored! Imagine! Fortunately I predicted I would be bored back in Melaka and hence I brought my Lappie home with my maxis 3G broadband. New Year was slightly more excited than usual.

Denise Keller was here with us. Haha. Yes, DENISE KELLER! Please don't be envious. She is my cousin....Her Granny and my granny are sisters. She was filming a documentary on Melaka and also CNY and finding her roots back in Mlk. Her programme will be aired on Discovery Travel roughly end of March on channel 707 on Astro. Pls do watch it. As usual, filming is not easy. Whole family had to pretend sitting around talking, laughing and do the usual tea ceremony. I pity the most is the lion dance troop. The had to literally perform the dance for 3 times. The main guy that was leading the dance and holding the head was sweating profusely. Hey but to compensate we did give them a VERY BIG ANG PAU - RM 280.00. So now I'm a star..glamour konon. Haha.

As usual did the normal family visitation in the afternoon on the first day and night I went out with friends. Did some catching up and stuff & second time konon glamour was I got to shake Melaka Chief Minister's hand - Dato Ali Rustam ( The most corrupted minister in Malaysia)....pls don't sue me for defamation. lol. It's a fact!!!!!

Second day, visited my future MIL. Haha. She cooked lunch for me. 4 dishes somore for just the 2 of us. According to her, James called her and told her when I visit please cook more in order for me to be FATTER. ( Hate that concept). Guys are weird..rather my bf is weird. He seems to like my older self when i was so much fatter. Anyway, back to MIL story. It was so much fun to be there. MIL told me James was such a rascal and mischievous boy while growing up. He used to be so hard headed and naughty. One very interesting conversation between mother and son during James last trip back which MIL told me.

J: Mummy, you don't know my gf very cheong hei ( Long winded) oh..
M: Very good oh! You don't want to listen to mummy so God gave you a cheong hei gf.
J: Oh mummy, so like that la...not siding me also..lol.

When I heard that I burst into laughter. Well, seems MIL likes me very much. Me happy :)Another crucial information found out...James can COOK!! What? He always asked me to cook this cook that for him when he is back and now...haha. I am going to make sure he COOKS for me. *Evil laughter*

Chinese New Year this year just seems different without J around. J is in NZ and V is in Malaysia. To me there are 3 occasions that are not to be missed. 1) Birthday, 2) Christmas & 3) Chinese New Year. Every single occasion represents a different meaning in my heart. Firstly, birthdays are important because is the day you grow 1 year older and I love celebrating it with my close ones. Yes, some ppl do say that it's just another day in a year and age is only a number. Another reason is coz my birthday and J's birthday is only 3 days apart and we have been celebrating every year together for the past 3 years and this year will be our 4th together but I know J won't be able to celebrate with me this year coz he needs to work in NZ. Secondly, Christmas is also the time to celebrate it with close and love ones. We go to church, sing christmas carols and pray together. Thirdly, Chinese New Year is a time where you get to have a gathering with our family and have a wonderful meal together. We talk, laugh, joke and just crap anything. We not only eat , eat and eat, we also show our respect towards elders by going on visitations and of course collecting ANG PAU. *smiles*. I love all these 3 occasions coz it's all surrounded by love and care for one another with love ones. J is not here and it makes a big difference to me. It's a quiet new year without J with me.

Anyway, I've not even blog bout my NZ trip last month. Guess I won't but I will upload a couple of pics here...

This is a very random pic but I simply loved it. It's just like a poster pic or introduction scene from series like The Practice..."Previously on The BAC Entourage".
Our very own version of The Practice...lol

Lousy moments......

2008-11-19T00:37:00.002+08:00

-19 November 2008
-Wednesday
-12.40 am

I'm still feeling lousy but of course much better compared to few days back.
Arggggg....how does one get rid of those kinda feelings inside? For sure I know I will never be able to get rid of it 100%. I just feel like chilling at home not doing anything. Lie in the whole day and laze at home. Unfortunately, I can't. Morning need to work then head off for dinner with Virata and gang at Cheras. It's gonna be another long and tiring day....:)
December isn't far off...finally my flight tickets are settled. The thing is I'm flying with Qantas and need to board the plane from Singapore and transit at Melbourne for freaking 10 hours then head off to Auckland. I'm still contemplating if I should actually get out of Melbourne Airport for some sight-seeing...hmmmmm? James-Auckland-Christchurch dieing to see you...Xoxox...
My name...Vera Tay if you say it fast it does sound like Virata actually.
Went clubbing last Sat at this superb club call twenty.one and Virata's friends were like ohh so finally we get to meet the girl who shares the same name as Virata.. *watever*

Shit happenssss....

2008-11-18T01:16:00.002+08:00

-17 November 2008
-Monday
- 11.58 pm

When shit happens, no matter how and what we try to untangle the mess, it can never work so easily. As for me, I will take days, weeks, months before I eventually figure what I should do to clear this off my mind. I feel lousy, I feel happy, I feel excited, I feel down, I feel confused......
When I think about it, I feel happy, there is this glow in my face but deep down I doubt myself now. I'm unsure about everything I've plan. I never thought such a thing could happen to me. However, part me of never regretted it.
I can't stop thinking bout it till today. I wake up I ponder about it. I start to think maybe I shouldn't had done it or maybe I should have....I can only say that since stuff happened, we can only make the best out of it now. :)
Conclusion, at least for a moment, I felt different and had that tinge of happiness.
A burden is off my shoulder now....sigh of relieve!!!
LIFE still has to go on. It's difficult but I will pass it with flying colours

Ps: For those who loves watching Gossip Girl, FYI I love Dan Humphrey and Serena...
Certainly can't stand Chuck Bass..:)

Crappy bus service

2008-10-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

-16th October 2008
-Thursday
-11.22pm

Exhausted from such a tiring day. Today got really cheated by this stupid bus company named METRO bus. It all started when I decided to take the metro bus to college instead of my usual Rapid KL bus as I was catching the bus from Curve instead of 1U.
First event that shocked me was when I told the bus conductor my destination was KL central , immediately he said RM2.50. I was really shocked. The usual Rapid KL bus only charges RM2.00 for a whole day pass where else Metro's ticket is only Valid for a single trip. Nonetheless, I paid for the ticket without even trying to argue with him. No wonder Metro does not have as many passengers as compared to Rapid KL. Secondly,
on the way towards KL central, I over heard the bus conductor telling another passenger something like that they would bypass KL central's stop all together as it is very jammed during that hour. Next I knew, they took a short cut and stopped at Pasar Seni. I was so mad. Now, they charged me RM2.50 for going to Kl central and instead I had to go down at Pasar Seni and take a LRT to Kl central that cost me RM 1.00. All the hassle and instead of spending the usual RM 2.00 for transportation a day, I ended up spending RM 3.50 to go to college and another RM 2.10 to go home to Kelana Jaya as I was meeting my dad there.
Regarding Metro bus, I was furious. The promised destination was KL central and they dropped me off at Pasar Seni and I paid RM 2.50. That is really a breached of contract. How can they just tell the passengers that just because its jam so they would bypass that stop. They can't just act according to their wimps and fancy. I almost told the conductor off but because I was already running late I gave that a miss. So unreliable. Actually, before I even boarded the bus, I gave a thought whether I wanted to that the risk of taking Metro since they are so not reliable but like I because I was running late and afraid that the Rapid Bus would take some time thats why I took the risk...Never again....
For those who always takes METRO, I suggest you take Rapid KL in future as Metro is not only unreliable but they CHEATED me!!!! I feel so cheated!! Cheh.....

Sluggish & Lazy days

2008-10-14T11:55:00.003+08:00

-14th October 2008
-Tuesday
-11.56 am

It's Tuesday & I feel so Saturdayish. Perhaps after taken a rest on Sunday and Monday, this is what happens. Feeling all lazy and dread the thought of going to college for Land and Trust tutorial and then Trust lectures. I have totally full schedule on Tuesdays which starts from 2.15pm to 3.45pm for Land tutorial, 4.00pm to 5.30pm for Trust tutorial, break 1 hour and finally 6.30pm to 9.30pm Trust lectures. What a tiring day ahead! Sigh.....
Just something happy to share. Just confirmed that instead of only going to Auckland,NZ to visit James, we've also planned to celebrate new years at Christchurch.
Well, since my best friends cousin lives over there, they actually invited us to visit the newly wed couple. I just can't wait. At first, I thought I would only be stuck in Auckland, North Island but now my dreams have come true and we will be able to fly in to the South Island as well. Eager for shopping, sigh-seeing, touring and of course spending Christmas and new years with my dear.
Of course before all this, lots of lectures and tutorials to overcome. I'm sure I can do it. Sometimes, just wish I had Hiro Nakamura's powers then I can bring myself to the future, make time go faster and even fly myself to NZ for free...haha.
I wouldn't need an air ticket of course...perhaps I need Mana too!!

Meanigless, lifeless, clueless

2008-10-12T12:35:00.002+08:00

-12th October 2008
-Sunday
-12.36pm

It's been 2 months and 10 days since James left for New Zealand. It has not been easy for me either. Times are bad I would say it. I would be emo, I cry, I think, I miss him so much. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Why did I get a bf whose work forces him to travel around the world? Why can't he find a job here? We have gotten into many many arguments regarding this sensitive issue. Well, we all know that its for the better of our future but there will always be a "BUT"...
Let me see, since we dated in 2005 till today, he has traveled to Hong Kong, China & Macau various times for 3 to 4 weeks each trip; Spend 2 months in Germany, France, Turkey, Kuwait, Iran & Togo(not sure if was same trip); 3 months in Spain & now finally in New Zealand for 6 months. He will only be back in End of January 2009 for Chinese New Year. Looks like he has traveled all the continents except for North & South America. Just so you know, he graduated from University of Queesland, Australia so count that continent in too.
Every single time he is away, everyday is like a thousand years. He has only been in NZ for over 2 months but it already felt like half a year. One very thing I have not been asking him everyday when we speak on the phone is "Dear, when will you be coming back?" or "faster come back can or not?" is because I will be flying over to NZ in December with compliments from my baby:). I just can't wait!!!
One thing I would like to highlight is he never seemed to fail me in coming back for special occasions. Last year, he managed to come back in time from HK for CNY 2007 in February and this year CNY 2008 from Spain. What's more romantic is he gave me a surprise by coming back exactly on my birthday this April from China though he was very busy with a project there. There were many times I fell for the surprise when he said he was coming back in a week when actual truth he was at the airport flying back home. In many ways, he has flaws as we are just human beings but most of all since I chose to be with him, I will love him for who he is and not what he is. I was watching A walk to Remember ( I know its super old movie but I only got to watch it now as I managed to download it) just the other day and I came across a line in the movie which caught my attention..." Love is like the wind, we can't see it but we can very well feel it"---something to that effect lah. Awwwww....so romantic. Just love it!!!
Well, as a friend just commented...long distance relationships keeps the heart stronger..just like absence makes the heart grow fonder. Haha...I hope its true.

I need a holie....

2008-08-30T00:11:00.003+08:00

-30th August 2008-
-Saturday
12.12 am

So...finally after making all those frantic calls to the college, I eventually got my results via online. 28th August---After watching The Happening on my lappie, I decided that i should sleep early since I have to wake up at 7am for work at 8am. By then, it was around 12.30am almost 1 am. Suddenly...
*Maria...oh beng Maria....*
Me: looks at phone, unfamiliar number, however picks up call.
EM: Vera..our results are out. Can check online ad.
Me: Stunned and shocked...*Speechless*..Where? Where?
EM: Go to email and from there click on the london external link and key in registration number, examination number and birth date. Besides, A & J also passed.
ME: Frantically switching on lappie, connectin to internet is another issue *Curi line neighbour*..Lord Forgive me!!
ME: Ok...will check and let you know later. Bye and thanks
Me: Calls A and congratulated her.
A: "Faster check your results....I wanna know.
Me: Yeah, wait awhile..internet connecting sux..besides, I donno where is my examination docket..
After searching high and low *5 minutes later*..
A: okok....quickly check and key in.
A & ME : *Impatiently waiting for details to upload* swt
As the page loaded, I only managed to see the word PASSED before I even saw the individual results for all 4 subjects.
ME:*Screaming & shouting*....1.15am *sorry Esther(House mate)
A: Congratulations ya..*Both excited*
Talked for awhile then said our good nights.

Overall results I was shocked. I didn't expect to pass my public law paper. Nevertheless, my unexpected results really kicked in after I called my dad. I thought could have done better in CLR instead I only got 43 for it and also my Public. I was disappointed with my CLR results as I really studied what Mr. Rajasingham predicted and as true as it was..the questions really came out and I felt I did well for that paper..Sigh..As for public, I already predicted I would fail but praise the Lord I managed to scrapped through.
Contract has always been my strongest subject yet during the exam I felt otherwise. I wasn't sure and did not have confidence in how I answered the paper. Even so I got 50 marks...ok la. Lastly, Super shocker was criminal. I did answer all 4 questions but it was simply vague. Well, second highest of all papers..I got 48 for it. Crap lah...I know I can never be a Karpal Singh!!
Well, at least be thankful I passed and now looking forward to 1st year. I know its not gonna be easy so I have to really work my ass off as 1st and 2nd year results will be taken into account for my whole degree.
Having a great weekend ahead in peace and relieved...Might be getting my NZ trip end of the year as promise by my baby if I passed my exams as currently he is there on work. Can't simply wait till then...

Turn the left cheek.......

2008-05-10T18:27:00.002+08:00

-10th May 2008
-Saturday
-6.28pm

Exams exams exams....Argg just round the corner! Its actually in another 11 days! Been studying a lot but lately I've gone into a "Slumber" mood! I feel exhausted all the time and my migraine keeps coming back. I guess its just pre - examinations syndrome(PES). Haha. I just pray and hope that exams will turn out ok and that I do not have to repeat my papers next year. Gosh, I'm 22 already and if I have to repeat my papers again all the years, I think by the time I'm 26 I won't even be done with my law degree.
Lately, for no particular reason I've this dream of becoming a MP. I guess RPK ( Raja Petra Kamaruddin) has made me realised that one can make a difference in our country.
I really admire and look highly upon him coz this guy doesn't even have a University degree. Nevertheless, his writing skills and sarcastic remarks on his blog are just beyond words to describe. Oh yeah, lately, James has been visiting me quite often as he flies a lots lately to China. He is always on the go. As per James" I live on a suitcase". As for me, I feel like a widow..haha. A lonely Gf as my bf is always not around. Well, I guess if I want to be his gf then I have to accept the fact that this is the nature of his job.
Criminal law keeps ringing in my head...all the cases, Cox V Riley, DPP V Kay, DPP V Newbury & Jones....arggggg! Gosh, I'm going mad! Even in my sleep I can recite them
God, give me strength! Amen

Valentine's Day...D-Day

2008-02-18T00:09:00.002+08:00

-18th February 2008
-Monday
-12.11 am

Sorry again to my friends who actually takes interest in my blog for taking so long to come out with another post. I've been struggling to get a stabble internet connection to the extend of actually trying to curi internet connection from my neighbours(shhhhhh). So that's why I'm always slow in posting a new post. Do forgive me ya peeps.

Last week was first week of classes after the CNY holidays. I was really looking forward to it as I thought my Panda will be coming up to celebrate Valentine's Day with me.(BTW, my panda is back from Spain and is now back in our hometown, Melaka) Well, before I came up to KL last Monday, he promised me that he will be up sometime that week. I was so full of excitement as I really relied on his promise. To cut a long story short, he never turned up. I was sad indeed but actually I was disappointed more than anything else. I wouldn't be so disappointed if he just told me straight to the face that he couldn't make it due to reasons blah blah blah but in fact, I had to ask and feel more disappointed myself.

1) I'm a girl who loves to receive flowers on any type of occassion be it Valentine's Day itself:). Unfortunately, I have a bf who thinks that flowers are a waste of money and doesn't see a point in getting them (Minimize cost) for me unless like he says.."if we have extra money" . Well, a stalk of rose on normal days whould just cost around RM3.00 and for that price you get to make your gf happy. Isn't that well worth your money? I didn't ask for like 999 stalks of roses. A stalk will totally make my day.

2)Come to think about it, I've never celebrated Valentine's day with my Panda before. Not even once. For the 3 years we've been together, I can't quite recall what reasons we had but we've always failed to celebrate it. This year of course you can clearly see why he couldn't make it to celebrate with me(work). Last year, was of course work again(Hong Kong)but fortunately what saved his ass was the swaroszki crystal cross pendant he bought for me which cost HKD 600 which means RM 300. The year before last, I seriously can't quite remember.

3)I've tried to convince myself that Valentine's Day is just a date and that we can celebrate it any day as to us couples who are competely in love, Valentine's Day is everyday .."Love is in the air"! But, I just can't come to terms that it is still a a special day where couples go out to celebrate where they have a nice meal, receive flowers and nice presents. Maybe I'm being very idealistic. Perhaps, I've been brainwashed by all those Valentine's Day adverts and propagandas where people think of Valentine's Day as a day to earn money. As a girl, I think any girl would agree with me that it is still a nice feeling to receive something from the one you love. Unfortunately again, I have a very pragmatic bf who says that presents are only given when we have extra money to buy it and if we buy a present when we don't have the extra money, what are we gonna live on for the rest of the month. I see his point but STILL.....can save what right?

So, that was my perfect V-Day. Fortunately, my best friend being single of course made up to my super sad day by treating me to Chilis at 1 Utama. We had a great time. We had a fajita combo and a caesar salad. To end the "Perfect" day, our dessert was strawberry and mash mallows dipped in a chocolate fountain. We were walking around the concourse area and the chocolate exhabition just caught our eye. We just couldn't resist not having them in our mouth. Hehe.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to this week again as my Panda PROMISED to make it up to me by coming up. Coincidently, I have no Criminal class this Wed and Thursday so just as well, I can spend more time with him. I'm just so excited. I just hope he doesn't fail me again.

Insecurities of a girl full of idiosyncrasies

2007-11-26T13:06:00.000+08:00

-25th January 2008-
-Saturday
-6.10 pm

Yeah....baby, it's been ages since I last updated. It's been depressing lately without you around. I could be envious of you just because you are in Spain having a good time( Working). The truth is I just miss you alot. Your smile, your laughter, your stupid yet entertaining jokes*Sowie*, your stories about your IT gadgets, your smell, your hugs, your kisses, your touch...everything about you I just miss! Enough said! My rambling, my ranting about you coming back quickly sometimes just gets the better of me. I'm sorry if I kept complaining about you being far away from me and I know without fail you will just calmly tell me that You still love me and try all ways to comfort me during my emo times. Thanks baby!
As I read EJ's blog post, I was terribly reminded of my own funny characteristics and idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, when we gossip about others, there is always this chilling thought that perhaps one day somebody might be doing the same thing to me. Eg: "Oh, I just can't stand the way she speaks with that funny accent"..thank god I have no accent when I speak, or " My God, she looks so fat wearing that lil dress of hers plus I think she just doesn't have any sense of dressing" or worst case scenario, " I can't believe she is so bitchy and ignorant in class". I always believe the saying," Where they is human, there ought to be gossip".
I'm not sure how my friends think about me. I've heard enough of what SOMEBODY in my college tried to do by gossiping and back stabbing me to her bunch of friends who eventually became my good friends. She can say what she wants as they are just a bunch of bull s**t. I don't know what inspired her to do so but who cares as long my friends know that I'm not that sort of person and that I'm sincere in my friendships.
I know I'm not perfect...(seriously, I have so many bad habits and characteristics that you can't even imagine.
My dad's favourite quote goes like this....

" I wonder how James can tolerate you?" or

" If you don't change, James and your friends will eventually leave you"

I've began to change slowly in many ways...thank god for James who patiently thought me and guided me. Baby, I know currently your patient is at low peak but please be patient with me ok. You know I'm not good at controlling and couping with my feelings. I'm like this emotional bug who is so needy all the time. At times, I just question myself how can I be not so clingy and needy. Gosh, I'm a pest in the eyes of my bf!
So, I just can't wait to see my uncle(bf)..sowie nicknamed by my college mates. I've been waiting these four months for your return from Spain and finally my wait has arrived.
Home sweet home baby!!!!*winkz*

A new beginning

2007-08-21T15:15:00.000+08:00

-21-08-2007
-Tuesday
-3.18pm

Life is such an unpredictable event in the chapter of our daily lives. Things come and go and sometimes we don't even know what might happen next. Our ignorance tends to lead us to our fall and unpredictable things naturally turns to become predictable events. 2 weeks back, I suffered a terrible breakup but yet he patched things back and asked me to give him another chance. Actually we both agreed to work and talk things out in future. Deep down during our talk, I was willing to let everything go and let him make the decision. Suddenly I was having all sorts of feelings eg: fear, disappointment, hurt, angry, sad....generally I was having mix feelings. On one hand, I wasn't willing to let him go but on the other hand, I was afraid of getting hurt again. Promises aren't promises that I used to know anymore. Promises can be broken and all we have to say is a SORRY!
Anyway, for us it's a new beginning, a new love life and a new hair cut for me :) When I had long hair, I always wanted to perm and dye my hair but in the end, I got bored waiting and decided to just cut it off. I got a Rihanna look alike bob hairstyle...the most in hairstyle at the moment. Dyed my hair but didn't come out the way I wanted it to be so I guess the coming month I'll dye once again and this time highlight it also.*grinz* Some people say I look like a young school girl:( but some say I look fresh and nice. I just wanted a changed. That's all!

Vera in Latin means "THE TRUTH"

2007-08-02T00:09:00.000+08:00

-02-08-2007-
-Thursday-
-12.09 am

What Vera Tay Jin Mei Means

V is for Virile

E is for Enlightened

R is for Romantic

A is for Articulate

T is for Tender

A is for Active

Y is for Yummy

J is for Joyous

I is for Intelligent

N is for Naive

M is for Musical

E is for Extraordinary

I is for Insane

What Does Your Name Mean?

Found this link while reading a friends blog...Interesting!! If everything stated above were true, I'll be the perfect gf any guy would go after. okok...except the naive and insane part of course. Haha...

From a guys perspective.....

2007-08-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

-01-08-2007
-Wednesday-
-11.42pm

My Own Worst Enemy

I was annoyed when she kept calling me everyday, wanting to chat for hours. Yeah, she was persistent alright, she wanted me to spend some time on the phone with her as frequent as possible. I was irritated when she wanted me to keep on SMSing her every now and then, most of all, before I sleep and when I get up in the morning. Those were the times when I was far away from her. It happens every time I'm away from her.

Geez, it seemed so much like a routine to me already. It felt like I was in an office, with the boss wanting to monitor my every move that I have to report on my daily activities, or perhaps clock in and out. It was okay initially, but then it soon became a burden, a bother to me. I didn't like the idea of how she wants me to make it a point to inform her of my wellbeing everyday.

At one point, my patience ran out, and I snapped at her. I began SMSing her lesser and lesser everyday. I didn't even bother calling her, and when she called me, I turned her down. She would complain on why I wasn't SMSing her anymore, and questioned how important she was to me. And at that time, sadly, all I heard was bla bla bla, the end. I was busy with my friends, I hung out every day and night, with my busy schedule of activities.

Somehow I didn't see the need of contacting her that frequent, and I felt that she should think the same way too. I could go on for 3 to 4 days without any conversation with her at all, as I was too busy to even spare a thought about her. I was having so much fun, that she didn't even came across my mind, not even for a second.

I remember how she'd call me when I'm out with my friends, busy chatting and eating with them. She was trying to have a short but lovely conversation with me. But I felt irritated instead.... I chatted with her for a bit and then insisted that we hung up cos I wanted to get back to my friends. Then she begged me to talk just for a litle bit more, just that little bit more, so she can hear my voice and make herself happy. And you know what? I said no.... I said things to her, sentences, words that at that point, I didn't realize how hurtful they were. Yes, I said those...

"Nah, lets just talk tomorrow okay? U call me everyday anyway. Lets just continue tomorrow"

"I'm with my friends now, and I'm in the middle of a conversation with them, so I'd better get back to them okay."

"We can always talk tomorrow okay? Why are u so irritating? Moreover, this is only temporary, and when I get back there, you'll be so sick of me eventually!"

"Look, u're really getting on my nerves now. Dont you have friends as well? Go hang out with them or something okay? I've got my friends here, and it's rude to leave them for too long."

"Would you just hang up and stop bothering me? I need my space here okay, and u're definitely not giving me that. This is the only time I can really spend time with my friends, and when I get back, it'll be only you for the next 6 months!"

"Hey, why dont you do yourself a favor and go get a life man!"

"You want me to SMS you every damn minute or so, and when I don't reply, you'll call me and ask why. I find you very annoying you know that? Dont you have anything better to do?"

And all she could say was

"Dear.... just a little longer please...? I just wanna hear your voice for a while more. It makes me so happy, cos I miss you so much. Let me talk to you for a little longer okay? So that I can sleep tonight. Please dear? Please......"

She'd say those words again and again, begging me to prolong our conversation, even to the point where she broke down and wept pitifully. She cried begging me just to talk to her for a bit more, and yet I kept saying no to her, kept insisting that we hung up. At some point, I began to cut her off just like that. Then she'd call back, countless times..... just for me to reject her calls over and over again. I didn't realize what I've done, all the way, even after we ended.

Then when I got back, I got to know that she had spent a few hundred dollars on her phone bills itself. She paid it all through her meagrely small salary, which she saved up every month from working so hard on weekends. I could not believe what I saw... I could not believe the fact that she was willing to give so much for me, so much just to hear my voice. And what did I do in return???? I fuckin hurt her with my ignorance, with my mean words that I always seem to cleverly compose just to put her down. And what's worse, was that I didn't even realize what I've done!! Fuck !!!!

Over these past few days, things happened, and I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I finally realized..... what an asshole I was. What a jerk I was to her. I couldn't believe I said those things. I finally put myself in her shoes, and realized how hurtful it was to hear those words from someone you love so much. I realized a lot of things. I felt what she felt, that's all I can say.

I can now say, that it really stabs you when you miss someone so much, but yet that person don't seem to give a toss about you. Then you end up feeling lost and confused, on whether or not that thing called LOVE and SIGNIFICANCE still exists between you both. You start to question where you stand in their life. You feel like a fresh piece of shit. You feel so damn small, waiting by their feet, but yet they avoid you, cos u're a just a piece of shit anyway.

I know for sure now.... that it cuts so deep that it bleeds when you try so hard to call someone, blowing your phone bills just for the satisfaction of hearing their voice, only to find yourself being shoved away, brushed away. And worse.... being put down, by words that you wished you'd never wanted to hear, especially from them whom you loved so much.

I finally know how it feels.... to be treated like a huge fuckin pile of trash....

I was the biggest jerk ever, I admit, and nothing that I do now could change what I've done. That part of my life is called: Being an Asshole. A complete Asshole. Nothing more.

God, today I've realized a very significant mistake of my past. I've realized that what I did has brought so much pain to someone. I've realized that I kept blaming her for being 'inconvenient' to me, where all along, it was me who needed some correction.

I know I can't change the past..... but now that I'm with another person, I want to change. I wanna make sure she wont ever hear me say those words. I wanna make sure she gets all that I've failed to give in the past relationships.

Dear God... starting today, I promise I'll love her so much more that I can ever love someone, and believe me, that I'm constantly striving to treat her right, trying to be the best for her. And if I'm gonna have to end up falling hard over and over again, then so be it. I expect nothing in return from her.

So could You ever forgive me, for all the wrong things I've done before.....?

Could You?

I am my own worst enemy.

Enough said.....

Enough now.

This was written by a guy friend of mine and I can say that I cried after reading it. I can totally connect to it as I am totally the same as the girl in it and the guy is just like my guy. Well, most guys always feel that we girls are very irritating and blah blah blah. This just shows how much we sacrifice out of love. We sacrifice our time, money and it drains us mentally, physically and emotionally. It will be unfair to say the guys are not doing their part but well, to be honest, most of the time we girls put more effort into a relationship. One thing I'm very proud to say that at least my guy friend actually reflected on what he said and did to his girl. I wish my guy actually gave a thought to everything I did for him. I wished he appreciated and loved me as much as how I showed my love to him. I just hope this will give him a nudge!!! LOL! Truthfully, on the other hand I've began to realized that I actually gave him too much pressure and maybe I treated him like as if he was in a army boot camp and that he must report to me his entire schedule for the day. If my guy friend didn't give the illustration of the part where he felt like if he was being monitored by his boss in the office, It wouldn't have hit me so much on the head that I was exactly like that. I'm so sorry that I actually treated you like this. It never really struck me that I was capable of doing things that were just slowly pushing you away from me. Please forgive me!
My sadness, my madness, I'm my own saviour!!!!

200 pounds beauty....a natural beauty

2007-07-31T20:48:00.000+08:00

-31-07-2007-
-Tuesday-
8.45pm

Synopsis

Han-Na is a very big girl with a warm heart. She is also gifted with an unbelievable voice from God. Han-Na has always wanted to be a pop-singer, but due to her appearance, could only work as a faceless singer. She provides the vocals for a popular singer named Ami, a beautiful young lady that can’t carry a note to save her life.

Also, Han-Na is in love with Ami’s music producer, Sang-June, but it is a one-sided love. One day, Han-Na is invited to Sang-June’s birthday party and receives a red dress from him to wear to his party. Han-Na is excited, yet scared. The dress is revealing and quite extravagant. With her very large figure, she is not sure if she could wear such an outfit. She does eventually go to the birthday party in the red dress, but is mortified when petite Ami appears in the same red dress. During the course of the birthday party, Han-Na absorbs more emotional trauma and she simply disappears……..

One year later, after Han-Na’s extreme makeover (major plastic surgery), Han-Na takes on a new identity and becomes Jenny. Jenny has a near perfect body and face. Nobody recognizes her, even her best friend. Meanwhile, the producer Sang-Jung is searching for a replacement singer for Ami, but can’t find anyone close to the talents of Han-na. Han-na as Jenny, now comes back into the picture and auditions for the job. Sang-Jung is immediately floored by her. She has the absolute beauty and that stunning voice. Soon afterwards, her dream that Sung-June will fall in love with her, is about to come true. Unfortunately, Ami is now jealous of her and feels threatened by her sudden success. She researches into Jenny’s background and comes up with the truth about her true identity.

Will this ruin Jenny’s career?

I love the soundtracks from this movie...eg: All songs that I like are sang by Kim Ah Joong eg: Star(Byul), Maria and I'm a beautiful girl. I can really connect with this movie as Han-na is just like me desperately wanting to loose weight who eventually succeeded in doing so. I have managed to loose quite a bit of weight recently and I feel totally happy and delighted by it. I too wish I had the body of Han-na after her surgery...Super Sexy!

I have uploaded the Music Video of the song star(Byul) by Kim Ah Joong here and I hope you guys will enjoy. It's so touching it made me cry. Attached here is also the Lyrics....

Kim Ah Joong-Star(Byul)
param gyeoli changeul heundeulgo
nae gimalhan jakeun nawei pan weouro
areumduphge byulbijdeureul
kadeul chaewojuneyo
malhi aphahajimah
nalkkok aneunchae dadokyojumyeo
jakjara weouro haejuneyo
keodji mothalmankkeum himekyeowon aphawado
nunmuli apeul karyeowado
kajjimothal nae sarang aphedo nan useullaeyo
jamshimado kyeote haengboghattdeon giogdeureul
kashime kanjig halkeyo
du nune suno najin jeobyuldeul
cheoreom yeongwonhi

English Translation

the wind is shaking the windows,and over my small room,
the stars fill up the sky, shining brightly too many to count,
the stars reassure tired me
they wipe away the many tears that are deep inside me

don’t be hurt too much..they hug me tight and pamper me
and comfort me,
telling me to go to sleep

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walk
though my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

My dream is coming. though it is unusual that my one star is bright
it is very bright, even blinding..it comes down to my shoulder
stop being so sad..it holds my hand as it touches me
and gives me a warm hug

though I’m exhausted to the point where I can’t walkthough my tears blur my vision
I’ll still smile in front of my love that I’m not able to get

Even though our happy times were short, I’ll treasure it deep inside my heart
like those countless number of stars, forever

Only for today, I won’t cry though my eyes fill with tears
I want to laugh like those stars
Oh~ I want to cherish all my happy moments deep inside my heart
Like those countless number of stars, forever

My love poem

2007-07-28T03:05:00.000+08:00

-28-07-2007-
-Saturday-
-3.06am

I found this Malay poem that I wrote ages ago when I was in Brazil like 3 years ago. I couldn't believe that my Malay then was so good. Haha...I must have been so bored in school that I wrote something like that. So I'm reposting it here again!

Cinta

Cinta yang aku melalui ni,
bukan mudah tapi amat sukar,
selama ni aku menyimpan dalam hati,
perasaan yang amat menyentuh jiwa ni.
Saya ingin melafazkan cintaku,
tapi sering dihantui perasaan ketakutan.

Apa ketakutannya?
mungkin cintaku tidak dibalas,
perasaan malu bila cinta ditolak.
Oh..............Apakah cinta?
Mengapakah kita harus melalui semua ni?
Kesengsaraan jiwa sering menghantuiku,
Kesakitan di hati bukannya orang tahu.

Tapi di akhir duniaku,
Walaupun apa terjadi padaku,
ia adalah berbaloi,
kerana kamu adalah cahaya hidupku dan,
saya tetap akan mencintai mu untuk selama-lamanya.

Today I went clubbing at some Indian club, Moksha in Bangsar with the Rotaractors from RAC Bangsar and RAC Kuala Lumpur. It was really a cultural shock...For the first time I'm entering an Indian club with just Indian people dancing to Indian techno music. Impressive!!! Had a drink of beer and that was it as I had to drive home...
I'm fine and doing just great...thanks for everyones concern. I'll recover in no time. I promise...Don't worry! Thanks Carol for being there.

When you're gone

2007-07-27T13:10:00.000+08:00

-27-07-1007
-Friday
-1.10pm

I was listening to this song over and over again for the pass few days. I really liked it without even taking notice of the lyrics. Finally, yesterday the lyrics dawned on me that this is what I'm really going through. The lyrics just keeps repeating inside my head that I'm going off my mind soon. Nevertheless, I'm taking time off and thinking through everything that I've been through. I need a break!

When You're Gone
lyrics by Avril Lavigne.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd
need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
out here forever
I know we were
yeah, yeahhh

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

Love confessions

2007-07-26T01:39:00.000+08:00

-26-07-2007
-Thursday-
-1.41am-

Well, James saw the previous blog entry and was so touched that this was our conversation in MSN.
Vera: Do you know how much I love you?
James: Yes, I know my baby sayang lovessss me soooooo much n I love you much much more you lil baby
James: I wish whn the time is there, I would wanna make you happy all the time and laughing away
James: My baby so cute
James: I always think of you when I do. Thinking of you makes me so alive
Vera: :)
He is always known to be that romantic guy that will write poems and blog entries when going after a girl. Well, at least that was how he managed to go after me. Hahaha! I recalled when he was chasing after me, he used to always expressed all his feelings through his blog entries or even writing sweet testimonials in friendster! Therefore, I will put up something like his best poems n testimonials...enjoy, have fun and be filled with emotions ya and lastly be touched by it!

First testi after first meet up
=.=" Lame stuff ? The words are kinda deep tho... It can mean one or another kie... We can yada yada yada from sunrise till sunset but we'll never realise it flies so fast. Meetin u for the first time is like knowing u for years back. Yeah u don't look like i would imagine u to be haha. I'll always have the first step towards bullying u. And yeah i remembered how ur aunt 'perli-ed' u for not introducing me hah... And yeah ur grandma... Told u SO !!! Haha... Well ur personality is so 'click' till i dunno where to begin or end. Words can't describe what we've indulged into and will never. I'm so touched with ur passion into Christ and ur 'International Action' thingy... Bout me and my inner stuff ? That's new :D Without u to spark up something, i won't think i'll even shine kie. It takes two to start up something :D Well space is kinda running out so i'll add up when i see fit it kie... Missing u too... HuGgIeS... =^.^=

Last testimonial so far....
Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.

Well, there are supposed to me more testimonials written to me inside friendster but I can't locate it so never mind about it.

Poems written by my lovely James
Friends and lover...

Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.

1.Love On The Internet

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.

When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.

2.Emotions...

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

I don't know why but from time to time I will always look back at these touching and passionate poems. I just love reading it and indulging myself with these love notes. James, I love you always. Without you coming to my life, I won't be as complete like now. You just feel my days with laughter, joy and happiness. I'm just so thankful to God for sending you to me. I'm just so happy........

Princess and her knight in shinning armour

2007-07-24T11:02:00.001+08:00

-24-07-2007-
-Monday-
-11.21am-

3 years and 3 months ago, girl met boy online while chatting on IRC overseas...boy always made girl laughed. Girl felt that boy was so funny and a very nice and friendly guy.
Girl was lonely so girl always chatted in IRC with all her friends back home. Girl added boy in her MSN contacts and from then they kept in touch off and on. Both of them never met before but only through pictures they knew of each other. Time passed and after 1 year girl came back to her own country and from time to time boy would message her and see how girl was. They still never met up due to boy working in another state while girl was in their hometown. All this while, girl only treated boy as a friend. After 1 and a half years of communicating through MSN or sms, they decided to meet up as boy was back in their hometown.
Boy came to girl's house to pick her up that very night...it was a Saturday night, girl was feeling anxious as well as excited while dressing up but was happy that they finally had a chance to meet up. Boy arrived and girl got on the car, girl was surprisingly chatty and immediately clicked on well with boy. They spend every minute of the night chatting and getting to know each other better. Sparks flew and girl started to have a crush on boy without knowing and realizing it. Boy also had the same feeling but repressed it.
Boy came to girl's school every single day after that Saturday and they would have lunch together and would just sit down and yarn and yarn so much till sun set and still wouldn't want to go home. Girl was afraid to have any commitments with boy even though it seemed that boy made the first move to pursue girl. Occasionally, boy would send some lovey dovey messages but girl hesitated at first but one day when girl woke up from sleep, she realized too how much she was in love with boy. She messaged boy to declare her love for him and boy responded in the same manner too.
So, on the 22nd September, boy asked girl to be his girlfriend. Girl in a shy manner asked boy if he was very sure and if he was willing to wait for her because she was till in school. Guy with a very sure and positive manner gazed into girl's eyes and reassured girl that no matter how long it took he would wait for her and be by her side forever. So, from then on, it was no more boy and girl instead they were a couple and a perfect one too. It was known as [V][J] the perfect match.
Finally, girl became the princess she always wanted to be..the girl that is loved so much, the joy and happiness that someone can give her, mostly, the emotional security that she needs. Ever since then, boy became princesses knight in shinning armour. Even though occasionally they would have arguments and fights..well which relationship doesn't face difficulties, they would patch things up and be that happy and awesome couple that everyone envies *winkz*!
Today, princess and her knight in shinning armour celebrates 1 year, 10 months and 2 days being together with sad and happy moments. Gosh, time really flies and we've been together for nearly 2 years and it just seems like yesterday! I love my darling. There's no one else like him. Never found anyone so compatible, and so adorable and the most caring soul in the world. I know he loves me a lot. I've never "belonged" anywhere else. Here I am, Vera[V](Princess) dedicates my love to my dearest boyfriend, James[J](knight in shinning armour) with this song here. Darling, enjoy with all your love and hope that we may be together till eternity. Till then, I love my James!

Artist: Utada Hikaru
Song: First Love

Saigo no kisu wa ka ba tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love songu
Atarashii uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasuretakunai kotobakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naite iru
Anatawo omotterun darou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love love song
Now and forever

English Translation

In your final kiss
flavor of tabacco i could taste
a bitter and painful smell
about this time tomorrow

i wonder where you'll be at
i wonder who you'll be thinking of

You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one

The frozen time
is about to start
but there are things that i do not want to forget
about this time tomorrow

i know i will be crying
i probably will also be thinking of you

You will always be inside my heart
because it is forever only for you
I hope that i have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Now it is still a sad love song
until i can sing a new one

You are always gonna be my love
even if someday you fall in love with someone else
i'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are alwaya gonna be the one
it is still a sad love song
now and forever

Life has to go on

2007-01-27T00:51:00.000+08:00

-27th January 2007-
-Saturday
-12.52 am

Dear God,
I have been feeling very down recently. Please cheer me up and make me look things on the brighter side. Please make me stronger. I don't seem to get everything I want at times and I feel so disappointed. Thank you always for being there with me through my hardest times of my life. Encourage me daily so I can pull through.
Thank you and I love you!

Amen!

Vera

EVERYDAY I LOVE YOU

I don't know but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you boy
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

ps: Was listening to this sound on windows media player and just thought that it's a
very nice and touching song. Hope you all agree with me also.

KL, here I come!

2007-01-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

-22nd January 2007-
-Monday-
-11.55 pm

20 years of my life have just gone by in a blink of an eye! I cant believe that I will be turning 21 in less than 3 months. At this turning point of my life, lots of decision making will have to be done etc: which college? what degree? where to stay? By doing so, I've decided to enroll myself at Brickfields Asia College for the June intake to pursue a LLB University of London external degree. Law is not an easy subject as it requires lots of reading up and memorizing various court cases. I'm determined to push myself to meet the standards of being a law student and also not to disappoint the hopes my parents have for me! As for now, I got a job at Thank God It's Friday (TGIF) 1 Utama shopping centre in KL and will be starting this Thursday before I start my course in June. The thought of starting my course so early really makes me think twice since I just completed my STPM last December. I guess I deserve a break right?

Last Friday, 9 Rotaractors including me went down to Singapore to attend the Rotaract District Conference from 19-21 January. It was held at a girl guides camp site-Camp Christine at Lim Chu Kang area. The journey down from Melaka would usually take around 3 and a half to 4 hours. Guess it took us how long? I think you would be shock to hear that we got there within 2 and a half hours. 2 cars drove up in which Yik Chuang, our Immediate Past president and Eugene, current Community Service Director so kindly volunteered to drive everyone there. These Formula 1 drivers were going at around 170 km/h but because they had super cars -volvo with turbo engine and Honda Accord, the journey went on so smoothly.

Camp was fun as the team was Rotaract Survivor and we got to know so many other Rotaractors within our district eg: Malaysia,Singapore and Brunei.

Rotaract District Conference opening ceremony ala "Survivor" style

Games, lessons, fellowship, singing was everything about fun. There was some emotional moments while Zack, District Rotaract Representative was giving his speech. Actually there's lots to write so I will just let my pictures do the talking. Memories like these will last a century!

Survivor Cooking-Roasted chicken,lemang aka Bamboo rice and eggs

Our chicken turned out semi cooked only as it was more of a smoked chicken. Our fire wasn't strong enough..how sad!Nevertheless, our bamboo rice and eggs turned out well cooked. The technique for cooking the egg is to wrap the eggs with at least 1 cm of mud or soil then only you will get a hard boil egg. If the mud is not thick enough, the egg will explode anytime.

My team---Orang Laut(Back row L-R):Fay, Wei Yun, Dawn, Winnie and me
(Front row L-R): Sorensen, Benedict, Picasso and Wei Siong

"Eugene in orange as Botak the Batik man"--Go RAC Kota Melaka!

The winner Of the Rotaract Soul survivor goes to the "Batik" Group......

The contingent from RAC Kota Melaka which consist of 7 members and 2 guest

Finale!!!! On that faithful Sunday, we took our photographs, said our goodbyes and left for Melaka. It only took us 2 and a half hours to get back to Melaka...see like I told you!

Yes....no uniforms and no Mr Siew.

2006-12-14T16:31:00.000+08:00

-14th December 2006-
-Thursday-
-4.32pm-

Finally my STPM and my Form 6 life is over...I couldn't be happier than this. No more those horrible looking school uniforms in my entire life. 7th December 2006 was the last day I wore it and yeah I was just glad that my school life is finally over. So to speak, it wasn't just about the uniforms or being look upon as a school girl just because you say you are in Form 6 aka 20 years old...ehem! It wasn't about the school either as I grew to like it...let me say for the Interact Club, friends and of course for certain teachers but NOT ALL.

Let me tell you....there are just certain teachers in school that are just nerve wrecking. Mr Siew being the ever so "KIND" AND "NICE" discipline teacher is always heard shouting on the speaker every single morning as we line up for the morning assembly. His famous lines will be something like :" Boy, why are you shaking and moving? Can't you keep still and quiet? Didn't you take your medicine today?" or :"Girl, shut up or else I will call your family. I know you can't stop talking to your friends as you lack your family's love you so are finding it in school"

He is just totally absurd to the maximum at times. I really admire the courage that my friend had when he told Mr Siew off. After hearing that, my heart was delighted!

For now, I'm so free but I'm planning to work in KL in January. Next week I will be going to Penang on the 20th - 24th December and definitely will be back in time for Christmas eve Service in Church.

My resolution...: Loose as much weight as I can! Yeah! haha

Great memories that will stay on forever!

2006-06-23T18:28:00.000+08:00

-23/06/2006
-Friday
-6.25 pm

I've been so super busy lately running here and there...School, Interact, Rotaract, friends, studies..my goodness the list goes on and on[ "on and on and on" reminds me of Jack Johnson's song].Anyway, not to long ago, Rotary organised an annual Interact World Understanding Day Celebrations that took place at SMK Notre Dame Convent with participation by 5 Interact Clubs from SMK Canossa Convent (Morocco), Gajah Berang (Norway), Katolik (Myanmar), Notre Dame Convent (Spain) and SMKJ Tinggi Cina (Turkey). Due to their concern over the mid-year examinations for their students, the Interact Club of SMK Gaffar Baba was sadly, unable to participate in the project. This project was jointly sponsored by R.C. Kota Melaka and A'Famosa to help Interactors to appreciate international peace and harmony as part of the development of our youths. It was really fun that night but honestly, I was totally down to my feet as the preparation for this Competition almost killed me off. Fortunately, my ever supporting W.U Director, Board of Directors, members and dear ones pulled me through.
We actually had not much time to prepare as we were having our exams and the last minute decition to continue with this competition after we pulled out due to certain reasons months ago. Nevertheless, it was a really worthwhile project as I could see my members having so much fun and the glow in their faces just made me feel satisfied with what we put in towards this competition. I guess it was an eye opener for my members as it was the first time for many of them to participated in these kind of competition. For me, it was exciting but I'm used to it as this year was my 6th year taking part in this W.U competiton.The event was full of drama with an exciting and colourful concert programme put up by the participating Interact Clubs, featuring an item from each of their representative country. We witnessed a tale of love from ancient Morocco to a terror Norwegian Viking raid, a Myanmarese wedding to comic bull-fights in Spain and to a bloody ancient battle at Troy. We had lots of mouth watering food as it was a buffet and around 250 students and guess turned up...not even my teacher advisor gave it a miss. Finally, the crucial time arrived, my heart was uncertain about our victory as the whole stage performance on Norway was such a last minute thing and to think about it, we were rather nervous! For the stage concert event, runner-up was SMK Katolik who won RM150 with their Myanmarese wedding and the winner's prize of RM300 went to..... SMK Gajah Berang for their Viking raid and "snap-shots" of Norway! What? I was so shocked and surprised as to what was announced! My W.U Director was literally pulling me up stage to collect the prize money... I heart was totally filled with joy and all I could see and hear were my members cheering and dancing with joy! I was indeed dumb founded.
It was a most successful project, full of excitement and fun and to boot, a free buffet dinner for over 250 Interactors and their respective Teacher-Advisers, Rotarians and guests to celebrate World Understanding Day!

Songs to fill me in...

2006-03-01T17:41:00.000+08:00

PETERPAN-MUNGKIN NANTI
Sahajaku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Reff:
Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan kau coba
Tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang kutinggal mati
Seperti hari kemarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Bridge:
Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan untukmu sendiri
Semua sesal yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri

Donno why lately this song has been runnin through my head day and night. Maybe it's because this song is currently the number 1 song in town and everyone in school is singing it. You can practicaly hear ppl playing in on their guitar, in the malls and even on the net. Well, I somehow downloaded this song and ever since been stucked with it...It's a very meaningfull song and if I could, I would have put the video clip here but I seriously can't find the video codes for it..sigh!!!

Chinese New Year.....

2006-02-21T16:01:00.000+08:00

-21st February 2006-
-Tuesday
-4.04 pm

New year has been over for a week now but it was really fun (I guess)..haha! The first 3 days of New Year was really tiring as I was Mak Minah( Driver) for my sis to go round visiting as she DOES NOT DRIVE!
(My little cute bro who is only 10 years old)

Yeah...so this is my sis(look left) with me during New Year's Eve dinner. So who looks older? Me or her? hahaha..She is 28 this year but doesn't look it right? Anyway, everytime New Year comes, first thing we look forward to is alwayz the ANG PAO (RED PACKET that contains money). As growing up, children would be children and everytime someone gives me an ANG PAO, I would first thing open it up to see how much I got. This year I collected bout RM 300 and well...it wasn't bad considering the bad economic situation that everyone are facing. I'm happy at least!!! :)
Carol, shea ling and I visited Suet Yin at her home on the 4th day of New Year just to catch up each other and to yadayada as usual. A BBQ party was also held at a friend's house and it was great fun. We were doing all sorts of crazy stuff that night like taking a hair dryer to keep the charcoal burning, barbequeing banana and chocolate( It really tasted awesome) and etc! Yin, Alicia and I were the only girls and it really takes effort to satisfy those guys man..sigh.. Besides
scrumptious chicken wings, different types of sausages, fish balls, taukee, potatoes and fruit cocktail juice specially made by Alicia, the important and mouth watering dish of the day was the YEESANG..It's a dish specially eaten by the Chinese and it will bring good luck and longevity. Well, I enjoyed my New Year as it was my first in two years now... since last year I was in Brazil. I hope you did enjoyed yours?

Happy New Year..2006 here we come!

2005-12-28T18:44:00.000+08:00

-28th December 2005
-Wednesday
-6.49 pm

Wow! That was fast!! Christmas just passed me with a wooshhh and after this, the year is gonna end very fast!! Can't imagine that It's been 9 months since I came back from Brazil...Being back in school(Form 6), joining Rotaract, being Interact President and meeting friends that I've not seen in ages has definitely changed my whole life. Life has been quite good to me but above all is GOD that I should be grateful and thankful to. Well, this Christmas was a blast and it also brought back good Christmas memories I had in Brazil. Really Miss my host family so much.
X'mas eve dinner was at home with our menu : Chicken Chop served with boiled carrots, cucumber and of course my aunts famous potato salad and Dessert was Jelly served with mix fruits from the can. Jelly didn't turn out so well cause the chef was a lousy one( ME)..haha.Dad and granny didn't join in for dinner as they had to attend one of our relatives daughter's wedding dinner. .Picture from (L-R):Lil cuz, Sister,Me;Uncle,aunt and my nanny since I was born.After such a delicious dinner, sis and I rushed to get ready for X'mas eve 10.30 pm church service at Wesley Church. Met JInWang there and I decided to sit with him while sis catch up with some old friends! Felt bad leaving the service half way through since Suet Yin called to go Pure Bar. I had to since she was picking me up if not I won't have any transport there. I really wanted to go to some place like Friends Cafe but because James, Takara, Alicia, Suet Yin were all in Pure so I had to obliged! Sigh..I'm not really a clubber so being upstairs Pure looking at them dancing and drinking made me felt really bored..I'm the type of person that prefers chilling out at some place and have a chat over coffee. But in the end, It's all about the fellowship( Yeah fellowship in a club?)Met JinWang later at Pure and we were supposed to go Yamcha but halfway I was too tired so after sending me home poor guy went to eat alone. Anyway,thanks dude for taking me all the way home!!(Picture below is taken at church with JinWang).
Since sis doesn't come home that often from KL so we yadayadayada till 4 plus in the morning.. Next day, we actually planned to go to church but ended up sleeping in till bout 11 plus..felt so bad coz I promised JinWang I'll be there as it was his brother's baptism! So, lunch was at friend's open house! At Night we had a X'mas Dinner at home too but this time with roast turkey,lamb and pork,homemade seafood soup, buttered potatoes and finally cheese cake for dessert!:)
The whole family including my cousin's gf were present and it was such a memorable X'mas dinner eventhought granny and aunt's family aren't Christians!Gosh..I think after this Christmas season I must seriously think of going on a DIET!! Been eating so much and I don't even know if I still fit into my school uniform lol! The following day went out with Caroline and Shereena to Friends Cafe. As usual, we girls yadayadayada,talked and laugh soooo loud till everyone could here us. It was just so nice to catch up with them.
Exchanged presents, took stupid and funny pictures while waiting for Carol's AMERICAN burger that took like 40 minutes to come! Must complaint to FRIENDS man.. luckily it tasted quite good if not.... I ordered some drink which I can't remember the name..sounded like some Japanese name.Well, it was a mixture of coffee late(I think so), vanilla ice-cream and bananas! It was very creamy..Oopppss fattening but well delicious!!! I think that's about it lah...Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and may 2006 be a wonderful year and may good things be ahead of everyone!!! Take care!

A Walk To Remember

2005-12-01T14:20:00.000+08:00

-1st December 2005
-Thursday
-2.21 pm

(L-R): Lilian, me and Suet Yin

Today is Lilian's 19th Birthday!!!! Just wanted to blog something bout her and how we've come to be good friends since school days. It all started when she joined the Interact Club of MGSS when we were in Form 1. I've always thought of her as non other than my classmate in 1A and also knew she JUST existed in the Interact Club. The years went by and by Form 3, we were separated as I was demoted to 3B and she still remained in 3A. I still can remember clearly that year we took part in our Interact International Understanding Competition (IU Day) which is known now as the World Understanding Day (WU Day). We were representing England and our main stage show was the Ascot(where English women were all dress in their Sunday best to witness the horse racing competition)and the singing of the English national anthem "God Save the Queen". Lilian, played a young gentleman in the stage show and it was a marvelous show eventhough we didn't win that year which to me was just unfair! Form 4 came and she was elected as the Secretary of the Interact Club and I was the Community Service Director. Since then, we've become closer than usual as we always worked closely during club activities,projects and competitions. I will never forget those great memories when we took part in the IU day the following 2 years. I really had great fun during the year when we were representing Tanzania. Lilian was an African warrior and I was a village girl. The whole show was amazing and as expected we won! That was the best year among our 5 years. In 2003, our last year since we were in Form 5, we were representing France and guess what? Lilian was 1 of our greatest Can-can dancer. I wish I had pics to post here as all the pictures are in the normal printed type.
That year was also something to remember and to never forget. It was the year Lilian accepted the Lord and I was really happy for her. Our friendship blossomed and till today I'm forever grateful to this friendship that turned out to be a awesome one. Interact has brought many friendships to higher levels and I always believe that "Fellowship brings friendship"!!!Thank you Lilian for your kindness and care towards me all these years.
Let's take another gorgeous pic of Lilian..I've alwiz knew she was a star from the start esp. when she has the looks..Pretty right? I'm so jealous for her sometimes as I'll never be as thin and petty as her.Hehehe... Anyway, u take care and have a awesome birthday today ok? Huggies and kisses.
Ps:// I took this pic from her friendster..hehehe.

What Kinda Seducer are you???/ What Kinda Kisser are you??

2005-11-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

-26th November 2005
-Monday
-4.31 pm

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Bored to tears!!!

2005-11-12T18:45:00.000+08:00

-12th November 2005-
-Saturday
-6.47 pm

Nothing much to say except that today has a been a terrible and horrible day!! The holidays started today but well it still doesn't seem like any holiday mood to me! It's Saturday and I'm doing nothing except been on9 the whole day doing lame and stupid stuff. I'm just so bored....argggggghhhh! People alwiz say, you don't alwiz get what you want. This is how I'm feeling exactly right now. I'm 19 going on 20 and sometimes ppl especially my dada still treats me as if I'm still some small girl! Parents sometimes should learn how to let go or loosen up abit in their relationship with their children. I just donno...I'm just feelin very moody currently and wish i could just talk and be with someone *winkz*! I need a person to talk to and where are you?????? Is as though my world has just fallen apart. My broad smile on my face doesn't alwiz mean I'm ok you know? So don't judge a book by it's cover. I may be happy but under my skin ......sigh!!! Life can be difficult at times!

That's just the way of life.....

2005-11-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

s-2nd November 2005
-Thursday
-11.32 pm

Day in day out I've been just pottering round the house doing nothing! Sigh...so bored ar! Damn, I'm in Kl now!! Shouldn't it be more fun than to be in Melaka? Wow, those shopping, yummy food, nice places, meeting up with friends...etc. Shouldn't it be fun and entertaining? I used to think so too till I actually found somethin more worthy of my time in Melaka! Somethin that made me realize that ermm...well, Melaka isn't a bad place to live in after all..hahahha! Worst thing of all is I'm so sick now...wish I could hug and cuddle someone to sleep *winkz*. After Raya holidays, I still have to go back to school for 3 days and damn it...ppl are all enjoying their holidays already but ME? I still have to suffer 3 more days.Sigh! Wish life could be just so much easier..No Stress and No worries!! Wish someone could just kidnap me and never return me home..sobz sobz!!! Wanna run away from real life or rather i would say dissapear from this terrible world!! Being sick is no joke esp. when someone else has to share ur pain and fall sick as well too.. Feel so bad bout everything that happened yesterday...I'm so sorry!! Hope you forgive me!
Missing everyone back in Melaka..Take care friends! Cheers

Sonnet 18

2005-11-01T17:57:00.000+08:00

Sonnet 18

Shall I compare you to a summer's day?
You are more lovely and more moderate:
Harsh winds disturb the delicate buds of May,
and summer doesn’t last long enough.
Sometimes the sun is too hot,
and its golden face is often dimmed by clouds.
All beautiful things eventually become less beautiful,
either by the experiences of life or by the passing of time.
But your eternal beauty won’t fade,
nor lose any of its quality.
And you will never die,
as you will live on in my enduring poetry.
As long as there are people still alive to read poems,
this sonnet will live, and you will live in it.

*missing you already*...

Love or InfatuationwinkZ

2005-11-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

-1st November 2005
-Tuesday
-3.39 pm

Love or Infatuation

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity.

You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely, It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him nearer. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says," We must get married right away. I can't risk losing you."

Love says," Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence.

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy. Love is maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels that trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you'll regret later, but love never will.

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

I Love you whoever is reading this.....

Life's so Unpredictable!!!

2005-08-31T18:09:00.000+08:00

-31st August 2005
-Thursday
-6.10 pm

"Just Want You To Know"

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do could protect me from you that night

Wrapped around your finger, always on my mind
The days would blend 'cause we stayed up all night
Yeah, you and I were everything, everything to me

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

All the doors are closing I'm tryin' to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day, the day you slipped away

I just want you to know that I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That since I lost you, I lost myself
No I can't fake it, there's no one else

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through and then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say I would do it all again
Just want you to know

Strangers to Friends!!!

2005-08-28T17:27:00.000+08:00

-28 August 2005
-Sunday
-5.40 pm

Last day of school holidays....darn bored! Fortunately, 2 memorable things happened within the same week to me.Isn't that wicked? Sometimes, we always say that things happens at times we never expect it..Thats exactly what occurred to me! I've known 2 cool dudes(Gerald and James)for quite some time, about 1 and a half years but the funny thing is, would u believe it that I actually never met them before in my life? Yeah, weird isn't it? Anyway, just by coincidence, 1 of them(Gerald) is studying in MMU so out of the blue, Andrew just invites me to their MMU CF last Tuesday! So, there I went! So the scene goes like this, I ask Sandra(another friend) whether she knew who Gerald was? she went to him and says "Hey, Gerald do you know someone call Vera?" and he goes "Yeah, we knew each other through IRC but have never seen each other." All of a sudden, Andrew shouts across the hall " Vera, this is my friend CP". The amazed Gerald turns his head to my direction and starts getting up from his seat and walked towards me. We both just laugh it off by saying " what a place to finally meet"..hahaha. WE and the whole gang went for mamaking later that night and we had fun..especially coining up a nickname for him!Gerald to JiaLat..hahahah
James...James...can also consider as my cool, funny and weirdo kor kor lah! We've been smsing each other quite often but I'll always wonder when will the day come that I'll eventually meet him. Yesterday we finally got together n wow..we really got on like a house on fire.Today also invited him to Gateway Church and man it was wicked..Although it wasnt long before we had to part but it was still nice getting to know that no matter where u are, you'll always have a dear friend like JAMES!Cheers. Willl be missing ya!

Moments like this.......

2005-06-07T13:54:00.000+08:00

-06-06-2005
-Monday
-1.55 pm

I'm in KL now!!!!! What? Again? Yeah, the truth is ever since I came back from Brazil I've been going up to KL quite often since Malacca will forever remain a "DEAD TOWN" and also coz I needed to visit some relatives and friends that I've not seen for AGES..1Year and since I'm in KL, might as well take the opportunity to SHOP la...man...SHOP la!!! This time round it's my 6th time here within 2 months..WOW! I can't believe that.At least, I have a good reason for being here..well quite lame reason lah.Actually, my aunt asked me to come down from Malacca just to Jaga Rumah(Look after her house) since she and her family are going on a cruise holiday from Singapore,Penang,Phuket and back. Looks like I'm the security officer in charge of her house..*YaHOO**I've got the whole entire house to myself and the maid only since my sis is working in the afternoons and will only be at home during the nights! "Let's get the party started in here"!!!hahahahaha. I jolly good make full use of her home*wink*...my aunt will faint when she returns this Wednesday!!!Muahahahaha.
Eh...I'm a good girl k? Do you really believe that I'll turn my aunts house upside down? No of course!!! Was just pulling your leg..........As usual attended church,DUMC(Damansara Utama Methodist Church) with my sis yesterday morning and I'm sure you must be thinking man..a METHODIST CHURCH??? Praise and Worship must be very lame and stuff but I assure you that this church is no ordinary Methodist Church!!! It's worship is just superb and basically just like any other charismatic church where you see ppl dancing and jumping during worship and the singers and dancers are just filled with the holy spirit and have the *Ooom* for GOD! Even the music instruments are so sophisticated!! It's always fun going there for services*grin*!
Came back after lunch and guess what?I dropped of to dreamland at about 3.30 pm and didnt wake up until about 5.30 pm and that's when my sis came back from her church meeting.
Eric, 1 of my sister's church friend and also my so called MSN messenger chat friend picked us up at about 10 pm to go out for an ice-cream. To his *horror*, Amirul,Jaja and Jeremy were coming along so everybody ended up at McD, The Curve . It just felt so good meeting up with Amirul and gang again after soooo long and also finally meeting up with ERIC aka "Sith Lord"..hahaha. This guy here is just way damn hilarious,witty,funny and whatever it is don't ever argue with him coz his vocab is too "Powderful" for even us as normal human beings to keep up with him!!! I seriously enjoyed yesterday's moments with Eric and gf,Amirul and gf;Jaja,Jeremy,Lionel and sis!!! Can't imagine 2 different age groups of friends could just blend in so well...Amirul& gang and I are from the 19,20 age group and Eric& gang and sis from the Young adults;26-29 group. Come to think about it, we were the only group at McD making the most noice and fortunately we were not ask to leave or kick out by the management*sigh*!!
So I guess that's about all for the day...going out with Danial later!!Tchau

Which road will we eventually take?

2005-04-14T02:22:00.000+08:00

-13-04-2005
-Wednesday
-2.27 am

Come to think about it, the effect on this slogan is just remarkable!!! Life is a journey of different,different roads and as some ppl put it.."Life is like a roller coster" n we cannot predict what's gonna happend in the future but only GOD! I still remember one poem I did in Form 5 SPM, The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and it talks about a traveller deciding which road to take at a fork road..the road less travelled or the road more travelled, we soon find that he chooses the road less travelled. Who KNows, I might be like him taking the road less travelled in life and nobody can say I'm wrong just becoz I decided to make that difficult decision!! Where do go from here....? life is all about making decisions and sometimes being human, we tend to make mistakes and yet God being so forgiving still forgives us entirely of all the sin we did...THat's how wonderful our Lord Father is!WEll, I just wanted to show this part of a testi what my friend wrote for me in friendster:--
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>V ~ Vivacious<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>E ~ Elegant<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>R ~ Remarkable<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>A ~ Appealing<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Life isn't all that great after all!!!!

2005-04-13T02:18:00.000+08:00

-12-04-2005
-Wednesday
-2.19 am

After carrying that burden for 3 weeks, I've decided to let it all out!! Sometimes things are just better out than keeping it inside oneself!!! I've always felt better sharing it with my guy friends that trully and really understands me than just telling it to any Tom,Dick and Harry. We are human and we do have weaknesses...so what is so wrong in just liking HIM? I do blame myself sometimes for liking him coz it has cause me hurts and made me suffer, but after all who ever said liking a person was easy! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY GOD? HOnestly, HE has been such a dear to me,treating me like his baby princess, calling me from time to time and also smsing me but why on earth did I REJECT HIM? WHY? WHY? WHY? Eventhough he still calls me from time to time and knowing that the feelings I have for HIM wouldn't fate off just so easily, I still soften my heart and accept his calls!!! After all, I'm still HOT blooded right?*wink*! I just feel like bursting into tears now but too bad Andrew, my crying shoulder isn't with me so I guess I still have to wait till I eventually get back to MLK this Friday to accomplish that..(NOW IN KL)!
PPL just have no idea the pain,hurts,sufferings,frustrations and etc we human go through when we are in LOVE. The thought of the word LOVE will definitely come to many ppl's attention to as why a 19 year old girl like me would use such a strong word to describe her feelings...? I'm still confused as to why I REJECTED HIM coz if this decision was made 1 year ago by the old VERA TAY, it would just seem and look so bizarre but now after coming back from Brazil and being more matuared a girl, I feel that this is just not the time to be serious and to have a relationship eventhough I really like HIM coz now I just have to concentrate on my FORM 6 and nothing else! WE will still be forever best of friends but If HE really does like and love me , I'm sure given a chance, HE will definitely wait for me until the right time comes!

I'm lost in the world of my own!!!

2005-03-31T15:45:00.000+08:00

-31/03/2005
-Thursday
-10.29 pm

Time really does fly huh? In a flash, I've been back here in Malaysia for just over 10 days. Can you just believe this? Personally I just can't. I still can remember very well when I was just about to fly off to Brazil to start my Rotary Exchange Programme and now after 1 year everything has just come back to the original way that it used to be, back in old mouldy Melaka and getting to know that most of my friends are up in KL either studying or working *sigh*! Caroline is up there working in Starbucks, Maju Juntion and I dont know when will be the next time I'll be able to see her since she does not come back often but thank goodness for Jeremy who is currently studying at KDU comes back every weekend so at least I still have 1 more Mamak Partner to go out with.Anyway, so far I've gone out with ppl like Suet yin,Carol,Andrew,Jeremy,Sandra and also not forgetting my precious mei mei, Rebekah,the first person that I saw after arriving back here in Mlk. What a life!!!
Last monday, I gave my presentation about Brazil to the Rotary club here and fortunately everything came out well!!! I guess everyone were most fascinated with those very sexy Samba Pics especially of the moving picture!!!

Here are some good examples for you ppl to see!!!
And as for now......just hanging around, going out with friends and just waiting to go into Form 6 which will only start in mid May!!!!

During my happier days back in Brazil.aka Farewell Party....

Carnaval next week...huhu

2005-02-02T13:04:00.000+08:00

-Day 314 in Brazil-
-02-02-2005
-Tuesday
-3.04 am

So Carnaval is starting this Friday and everyone is still busy preparing for the Grand event through out the whole country.
I'm so excited as I will be celebrating it in the Carnaval stadium together with all the exchange students and also together with some Rotarians. All the Samba schools in Sao Paulo will be taking part and I'm sure this will be the best thing that will happen before I leave Brazil!!!!
AS I am blogging now,it's already 3.40 am and I'm using the comp in Rodolfo's house in which I'm spending a few days here from last Sunday until today so sad to always leave someone that you really like so much and inside,you know that you don't know when we will ever see them again!!!!Anyway, yeah I'm in Rodolfo's city which is in Juquitiba,SP and so far I've been able to get out from the polluted Guarulhos and get some good and fresh air here in this small city down south of Sao Paulo.Eventhough we didn't do much due to the bad weather which rained every single day here,in which we planned to go river rafting, we somehow managed to visit a mushroom farm owed by 1 of the Rotarians and also did some sight-seeing at the waterfalls in the jungle. Last night,I even went for their monthly Rotary meeting and even presented my Host Rotary Club Banner from Malaysia to the President of the club here in Juquitiba.My stay here is just wicked and I really enjoy Rodolfo's accompany not mentioning that his mother is just an angel!!!!She's like the sweetest women I ever met in my life of course not forgetting my own mother back in Malaysia:)
After Rotary, Rodolfo and I were so bored and we just fooled around his camera and managed to take some very nice pics....First, this i have to say, his Rotary Blazer is just sooooooooo damn cool
.I really envy him so much because while on exchange in Malaysia last year,he was lucky enough to go for the Rotary International convention in Japan and therefore he got so many pins from around the world so put on his Blazer. Well, I must say that my Blazer is rather awesome too.Too bad I don't have a pic here to show to you guys. Time flies and without knowing it,it's time for me to say my goodbyes to all my close friends in Brazil and leave for an even better place in this world call MALAYSIA!!!!!! 6 weeks and thats all you guys have to wait for my return back where I truly belong......

Andrew....Andrew...thanks for always beeing there!!!

2005-01-23T05:04:00.000+08:00

-Day 303 in Brazil-
-22-01-2005
-Saturday
-6.12 pm

ERmmm...so I just finished blooging and here I am bloggin again!!!! Why? Because of someone who is bugging me to write more things in my blog........So, since I have nothing to do now, I guess I´ll just write something about a friend of mine call Andrew Liu!WEll, I guess writting down in words about him is rather tough since both of us are actually chatting in MSN now. I´ve known this guy here for like ages,ermm let me see how long?I guess more than 5 years....yeah I guess thats it!!!! We started of as just friends but slowly the friendship blossomed into something so marvellous that everyone thought that we were a couple....*kekekeke* How ridiculous! Anyway, yeah....in February when he had to leave for NS, I was so worried that I´ll never get to see him before I go off to Brazil but guess what? He came out from NS the weekend I was supposed to leave....WEll, I don´t really know if he did come out just to see me off or it was just a coincidence.Andrew, you got to answer this question ok? I don´t know what to say more about him? He has been there for me during hard times and I guess I can´t live without him. He has been my listening ear and my shoulder to cry on and eventhough me being half the globe away from home, that friendship between us is still as strong as before and I guess now it´s even "STRONGER". AS he just told me :You're always "higher class" than the rest of my frends> I guess this has made it clear that we are really close friends and nothing can bring our friendship to an end...right? Andrew? I know I´ve I told you this, but I really like to write it down here. I donno why I got really jealous when I found out that you were together with Sue Ping. I guess sometimes, we are just afraid that we´ll loose a good friend..... But seriously, I´m cool with it now so you don´t have to worry about it anymore ok? I need to go now, but I´ll write more stuff later on....Andrew, I love you and Miss you so much ok.....Big hugs and kisses..

A new year ahead......A new life ahead too!!!!!

2005-01-12T00:10:00.000+08:00

-Day 292 in Brazil-
-11-01-2005
-Tuesday
-2.13 pm

As I look back and think of the year 2004.....many good and I consider bad things has happened to me but by the grace of God, somehow I managed to go through the year to a NEW YEAR ahead of me!!!! Well, last year was absolutely a awesome and wonderful year from me if I must say so. Let me just list out what I did :
1)Worked at GSC Mahkota Parade!( Was the best working experience)
2)Andrew and Nara went to NS.....*sob sob*
3)Went to Brazil for my Rotary Youth Exchange Program.
4)Celebrated my birthday in Brazil...It was ok though
5)Went on a Easter Holiday together with my Brazilian family.
6)Went on my trip to the Northeast of Brazil with 45 others exchange students.
7)Got to Know my 4 best friends, Emmãnuel,Kofi,Kate and Claire during the trip
8)Went out with exchange students for a tour round Sao Paulo city and to a dutch
city called Holambra.
9)Went to OCTOBERFEST in Blumenau and Florianópolis in Santa Catarina, Cascavel
and Toledo in Paraná to visit Kofi,Camila and kate.
10)Went for a Rotary Party with other exchange students too.
11)Went to the Airport to welcome Rodolfo back from Malaysia.
12)Went for my sister ,Marina´s University Prom.
13)Went to Amparo for the Farewell Party for all the exchange students who are going
back this month."It was really sad
14)Went to BELO HORIZONTE to visit Emmãnuel and Raphael(ex exchange student to
Malaysia
15)Spend Christmas with my 2nd Brazilian family here in Brazil and guess what? I
received so many presents.
a)Leather purse from my dad
b)A pair of shoes from my mum
c)A hair Straightener from my older sis
d)A Palmeiras,a football club FLAG from my second sis
e)A Palmeiras official Jersey and tower from my bro
16)Spend New year with my Brazilian family at home and it was really nice.

So...that was like a summary of what I basically did last year!!!I´m sure this year will be a even better year for me!Definitely I´ll face challenges but the good part of it is that I´ll learn something out of it.Yeah!!!!

Belo Horizonte here I come...

2004-12-16T05:18:00.000+08:00

-Day 265 in Brazil-
-14-12-2004
-Wednesday
-6.20 pm

Huhu.........Finally I´m going to Belo Horizonte to visit Emmãnuel and some of the exchange students who went to Malaysia last year!!!!!!Raphael,rafael,Bernado,Fernanda...Can´t wait to see you guys :)Anyway, the biggest reason that I´m actually going to BH is because of my Good friend,Emmãnuel!!! This dude here has brightened my exchange year here in Brazil and thanks to all his cute and sweet SMS..I made it through until now! Well, actually let me give you guys a brief story on how I met him. It was during the Northeast trip that I went on with some other 44 exchange students that we knew each other. He was bringing along some other short term exchange students from India from BH to visit Brasilia and so being me I started the convo with him and without knowing it he was actually Jeremy´s Good friend while he was in Brazil.Jeremy was an ex exchange student to Brazil last year from Malaysia.What a small world!!! From then onwards, we started to communicate with each other through MSN ,ICQ and also though SMSes.So this is the story of our great friendship.....Weird right our amazing story? Anyway,from tomorrow night until next Tuesday, I won´t have the time to on9 because I´ll be away in BH.So you guys will only see me back on Wednesday ok......I love everyone!!!!

Make A Joyful Noise / I Will Not Be Silent
David Crowder, Terry Butler

Key:G
Verse:
Bm D E Bm D E
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
Bm D E Bm D E
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
Bm D E Bm D E
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
Bm D E Bm D E
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth

PreChorus:
C9 G/B C
The flowers of the field are crying to be heard
C9 Dsus G/B D
The trees of the forest are singing
C9 G/B C
And all of the mountains with one voice
C9 G/B D C G/B C Amsus
Are joining the chorus of this world
C9
Oh, yeah
G/B
Oh, yeah

Chorus:
G D/F#
And I will not be silent, no
Em7 C9 G
And I will not be quiet anymore
C9 D/F# Em
Running through the forest Dive into the lake
C9 G
Bare feet on beaches white
C9 D/F#
Standing on the canyon
Em C9
Painted hills around And the wind against my skin
G D/F#
Every ocean, every sea Every river, every stream
Em7 C
Every mountain, every tree Every blade of grass will sing

Chorus 2:
G D Em7 C9
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
G D Em7 C9
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
G D Em7 C9
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
G D Em7 C9
Make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth
(repeat)

I really wanna thank Kofi and Kunyalala for sharing great Christian woshrip songs with me....You guys have changed my life!!!*Blessed be the Lord*....Remember he rulesss and rockssss foreva....
Ps://Andrew, I really want you to teach me how to play this song when I go home..The chords and lyrics are all here...Take care!

I´m ready to go home!!!!!

2004-12-14T01:54:00.000+08:00

-Day 263 in Brazil-
-13-12-2004
-Monday
-3.56 pm

I´ve been going out for the last 4 days in a row and I´m just so drained.......Went out with my host family last Wednesday and Thursday for Christams shopping and last Friday went Christmas shopping with another exchange student from Indonesia, Esti to 25 March. Esti stayed a night in my house on Friday and we were busy wrapping Christams presents from the Secret friend,a game that we were supposed to play on Saturday, A Christams Party and farewell party for exchange Students who came this January that was organized by ROTEX!
Basically, I´m still feeling the jinx from the Farewell Party last Saturday! The whole event was so Emo and everyone was crying during the speech the each of us had to give.*Sigh*! But somehow suddenly at that moment, I felt that I am ready to go home! Anyway, yeah....Finally I´m ready to leave all my good friends and family here and go home to my friends and family back there and to go back to my normal life!!!
Pai,mãe,irmã,irmão...amigos...EU TE AMO!!!!!

Thank you Kofi....................

2004-12-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

-Day 259 in Brazil-
-09-12-2004
-Thursday
-11.32 am

Third Day
Love Song

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain, but I walked the hill of Calvary
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I'd give everything
Oh I'd give my life away
And I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
All of those dream are empty motion
It has never been done
Well I've never swam the deepest ocean, but I've walked upon the raging sea
Just to be with you I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you I would give everything
I would give my life away
And I know that you don't understand the fullness of my love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize how much that I give you
And I promise I would do it all again
Just to be with you I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you I gave everything
Yes I gave my life away
I gave my life away
Just to be with you

ps://Andrew, I´m not sure if you know Third Day but I´m sure you must have...Anyway, their songs rocksssss too..Especially this is here...*hugssss and kisses*

We are totally Words Apart!!!!!!

2004-12-05T01:00:00.000+08:00

-Day 254 in Brazil-
-04-12-2004
-Saturday
-3.05 pm

Jars of Clay
Worlds Apart
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

-Vera Tay-

I´m tired, I´m sick, I´m fedup!!!!!!

2004-12-03T02:41:00.000+08:00

-Day 252 in Brazil-
-2-12-2004
-Thursday
-4.50 pm

I have been so lazy with my blogging these days that someone..ermmm*hinting* who ar? had to put pressure on me just to blog today!!!!Well, I guess they just miss me..Don´t you Andrew?kekekekkek!!!Ok..Basically, from the last update, what did I do? I can´t even remember..that´s bad!!!I guess I just lazed around at home,eat ,do nothing and grow fat...hauhauauihahaia, Doesn´t this sound like Garfield? Oh, have you guys watch the Galfield film? It´s totally hilarious and funny.I guess those that hasn´t watched it, better go now...I bet you guys will laugh till you drop!!!kekekekekke..Oh ya, where was I? So, let me see? I went out with Rodolfo(Brazilian boy who just came back on a 1 year YEP in Malaysia)for the whole day yesterday. We went to Bienal(it´s the biggest Art exebition in Brazil) but after a while Rodolfo was like "Let´s go to some other place to talk, it seems that we are in this place but we are actually not looking at anything"!! He just came back from Malaysia last Thursday and we have lotsssssssss of things to talk about(i.e), his experiences in Malaysia and mine in Brazil,his travels in Malaysia and lots more!!! Actually,when I was still in Malaysia, he came to Melaka for a visit and he stayed at my place,it was really weird at that time because he couldn´t speak English and I couln´t speak Portuguese.Time flies and here I am now, in Brazil speaking Portuguese and him speaking fluent English and BM!!!! So, there we were at this Shopping place call Shopping Ibapuera, thinking of going to BURGER KING(The first in Brazil that just recently opened) to eat but as we arrived at the foodcourt, you would never imagine how many people were there and the line was just so longggggggggggggg..So, idea 1) forget about it, let´s go somewhere to eat. We got ourself a sandwich and sat down on a bench and just started to chat about everything under the sky....It was just so good! It was around, 2.30 pm, let´s go for a movie? Why not? ok....so, we went to watch Captain Sky and the World, which to me was the biggest fiction ever in history!!!It´s actually a movie based on a cartoon book! Later, we went to some place for a drink and Guess what? Both of us found something very interesting...AÇAI!! I guess Malaysian will never know what´s that.It´s a Brazilian fruit made into a dessert. We usually eat it with bananas and Granolas.I guess In Rodolfo´s case he misses it so much after a year and for me basically I have never eaten it so it was a new adventure for me! Not soon later, it was slowly getting dark, I still didn´t have the feeling to go home, so we just walked and talked, and walked to no destination along Paulista Avenue( The Wall Street of Brazil)until can you imagined that we walked as far as 4 metro stops.At 8 pm, it was literally jet black and we decided that it was time to go home...I went my way to catch the metro back and he took a bus to his University!!!The day was great and I guess it was perfect!!!!
My recent ups and downs:::::::::::::::::::::
18/11/2004>>>>>>>> A party to celebrate the Proclamation of the Republic of Brazil
The Rotary Club Of Sumaré
20/11/2004>>>>>>>>>I visited the Malaysian Trade Center at Paulista Avenue
21/11/2004>>>>>>>>>Football game at Morumbi Stadium(São Paulo vs Juventudes)
23/11/2004>>>>>>>>>My first Presentation about Malaysia at The Rotary Club
24/11/2004>>>>>>>>>Went to the Airport to receive Rodolfo back from Malaysia
25/11/2004>>>>>>>>>Went for my host sister,Marina´s prom!!!
01/12/2004>>>>>>>>>Went out with Rodolfo going round town, basically to everywhere

Today, I received an email from AirFrance about my flight scedules Back to Malaysia*sigh*!!!!! I´ll be leaving Brazil on the 9th March 2005 and from today onwards it´s only about another 3 months....I don´t wanna go back but what can I do? Anyway, Christmas is coming and the Christmas mood is everywhere around Brazil....Including my house>>>>>>Note: The Chritsmas Tree was put up even before November!!!!!!
Anyway, to end this blog, I´ll like to wish all the following people here a very very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and may all your dreams come true:
1)My family=Dad,mum,bro and sis
2)Andrew and AAron Liu
3)Sandra Sim
4)Rebekah Tan
4)Joanne Ang
5)Justin Tan
6)Mr and Mrs. Jason Teh
7)Caroline Chan
8)Cherzzz
9)Emmãnuel Campos
10)Camila Gnoato
11)Gabriella
12)Rodolfo Ismael
13)Kofi Zwana
14)Kate my mate
15)Claire
& All my good friends in Malaysia,in Brazil and all the Gatewayans back in Melaka,Malaysia and last but not least,to all the Rotary Exchange Students in Brazil.

Cascavel.....Kofi and Gang

2004-11-10T03:09:00.000+08:00

-Day 229 in Brazil-
-9-11-2004
-Tuesday
-5.10 pm

So...where was I...oh ya, just after Florianópolis!!!! Jana had to go back to São Paulo as she was supposed to go for the Pantanal trip so I went to Cascavel alone!!!While on the bus trip, guess who I was sitting beside? It was an English Boy!!!I couldn´t believed it but it was true...He was traveling around Brazil alone for 6 weeks and he was heading for the Falls!!!What a coincidence!!!Anyway, I stayed in Cascavel for a week and the first day when I arrived, I decided to give Kofi and Kate a surprise!! I called Kofi and he just couldn´t believed that I was in town!!! All I could here in the background...shouts of Excitement I guess...Kofi and kate were shouting like the world could fall down anytime!!!I guess I´m special somewhere inside them *cheeky smile*...I went for Kofi´s band practices, his school,getting to know all his goody friends and even went round town sight seeing with him and Gang!!!!I was staying at Camila´s place(she went to Malaysia last year) and we had so much fun.I went to Uni with her and even hung out together with her friends!!!I just couldn´t believe that finally I was meeting the famous Camila from Cascavel! She was so famous back than In Malaysia as she was a very nice,sweet,wonderful,respecful,kind exchange student from Brazil to Malaysia!!Even my dad and the YEP coordinator have said that she is a very polite student*wink*! I also had a great opportunity meeting the other Malaysian girl,Paramesvari who is from another city,Fransisco Beltrão near Cascavel!!!I was just so contented with life at that moment but wait a minute...No one in this world is ever contented with life? "Weird hei?".....She came down from her city just to meet up with me after hearing so much about the other famous Malaysian girl living in São Paulo *wink*..lol!We decided it was time to show our culture to Camila´s parents by cooking our famous "Curry Chicken"!! "Yum Yum....it was just delicious!!!Just miss Malaysian food so much!!!Fortunately,Camila brought home some Baba´s curry powder so this really made our cooking so much easier *wink*! So, Sunday came and I had to leave Cascavel....*sob sob*!!!But anyway, I was going to Toledo, the city where Rafael comes from..He is currently in Malaysia under a 1 year exchange too!!His family was just awesome especially Moiz(exchange student from India)who is staying at their house...I stayed at their place for 2 days and during those time...Moiz brought Paramesvari and I out to town for sigh-seeing and shopping of course!!!Prices down south are just so CHEAP...this word is very important to gurls you know? Besides, I went for a Rotary meeting there and met 4 other exchange students!!!I guess it was time to leave for São Paulo...I was reluctant and tried to extend my stay but...you know? I had to leave no matter what *sob sob*
So, this is the end of my South trip and I really had a wonderful time.....
Love you guys so much......

OCTOBERFEST...."PERFECT"!!!!!

2004-11-02T05:59:00.000+08:00

-Day 221 in Brazil-
-1-11-2004
-Monday
-6.01 pm

So, I´m finally back in freaking São Paulo after coming back from Blumenau-OCTOBERFEST and from the south of Brazil...What should I say about the trip? It was wonderful,awesome,great,marvelous,excellent and etc.....To be honest, in non other words, the trip was just "PERFECT"! The first city that Jana from Botswana and I headed was of course non other than the famous OCTOBERFEST in Blumenau...Actually, do you ppl out there know exactly was it OCTOBERFEST? Answer me ppl....do you guys really know? Seems like no one is answering me so I guess I better explain it! It is actually a German drinking festival originated from Germany and I bet you ppl are wondering what´s a German festival doing in the middle of no where in freaking Brazil? Many years ago(donno how many), but anyway, the south of Brazil was formally a German, Italian and Dutch colony and Blumenau happened to be a German colony...So, "ahhhhhh" you ppl understand now? OCTOBERFEST in Brazil is the second biggest festival in the world after OCTOBERFEST in Germany and so being there was some sort of a achievement huh!So, where was I? Oh ya....back to Blumenau, Jana and I stayed at the Youth exchange Vice Chairman´s house for 3 days and it was just pure fun and enjoyment!!! German music was just being played everywhere around the city and ppl dressed in traditional German costumes were just happily dancing and singing!
Jana and I did quite a bit of shopping too that we actually found ourselves spending too much money but as you ppl know, OCTOBERFEST is only once a year so I guess it´s quite worth it after all!!! Guess what? We just couldn´t believe this part...We came across a group of British and American students studying at Belo Horizonte who came from São Paulo to Blumenau with us on the same bus and we met up at OCTOBERFEST too!!! All of us hung out together and had lots of fun together...isn´t the world so small?
Without realizing it, we were leaving Blumenau and was heading for Florianópolis to visit the Magic Island(named by the Brazilians) and to meet up with Gabi also.OK! This is really scary!!!We were again on the same bus with those freaking British and American students..isn´t this really scary! Gabi was an ex exchange student who went to India last year on a short term exchange program and there she met up with our short team program team from Malaysia too!This world is just too small!!! Well, during our 5 day stay with her, we just went to the beaches to relax, got oursleves all burned and also went for the most crazy band concert of Gabi´s bf!!It was just FUN FUN and nothing but FUN! I also had the opportunity to go to Gabi´s University were she is studying Languages(German and English) and I even bumped into some exchange students from Florianópolis and I was really delighted!
This is just part of my CRAZY AND SCARY trip..I´m really tired of typing now after rewritting for 3 times because my stupid computer keeps on shutting down*argggg* Well, I´ll continue tomorrow ok? Lots of love to everyone and ANDREW.....Thanks alot for always being there for me and also I´ll always cherish those *hugzzz* you promise me ok?
Love.........................VERA

OCTOBER FEST FINALLY!!!!!

2004-10-09T04:32:00.000+08:00

-Day 198 in Brazil-
-08-10-2004
-Friday
-4.32 pm

My God....Finally everything is finalized!!!! Now at least I can go to Blumenau and my south tour peacefully!!!! I seriously just dislike(was almost near to saying Hate but...) my counselor(which exchange student doesn´t?)kekekke.Sorry dad, no offence ok?Here the story goes, My friend and I,Jana from Botswana,Afica were planning to travel down south next week but as usual....Under the YEP rules, all exchange students must get authorisation letters from their natural parents, host parents and last but not least the Youth Exchange chairman!!!!! At first, I was seriously thinking of not letting my Chairman know of my travelling plans because I knew complications would occur but as a good exchange student I decided to do it the proper way by getting all the authorisation letters ready!!!! My counsellor was such a job to handle..."You will miss school for at least 2 week", "Where will you be staying?"," I need all the information of all the place you are staying " and etc.....I could have just killed him but I just stayed( pretented) calm infront of him and let out all my anger at home!!!! My Rotary Club President was such a sweetie....he didn´t even object to my travelling plans..instead he was giving me support by telling me to have fun and to enjoy my stay there!!!
People out there always thinks that Youth exchange students lifes are great and wonderful...(of course they are) but not mentioning all the rules and regulations set by Rotary..*sigh* No comments!!! So, What do you all think? Just to go for 14 days to the south ,I needed to go through such a job just to let my counsellor approve of it!!! ------------------

LIFE´S A ROLLER COASTER!!!!!

2004-10-06T04:09:00.000+08:00

-Day 195 in Brazil-
-05-10-2004
-Tuesday
-5.11 pm

TAKE ME AWAY --AVRIL LAVIGNE
I cannot find find a way to describe it
It´s there inside
All I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do
You do if you knew
What would you do

*Chorus
All the pain I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what
Was never said
Back and forth
Inside my head
I can´t handle this confusion
I´m unable come and take me away

I feel like I´m all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold
I don´t want them to hurt you
If I show you
I don´t think you´d understand
´Cause no one understands

*Chorus
I´m going nowhere on and on and
I´m getting nowhere on and on and on
I´m going nowhere on and on and off
and on and off and on

Take me away
Break me away
Take me away

Life sometimes can be sickening!!!!!............*No comments*

Avril Lavinge Rawksssssss!!!!!

2004-10-04T05:33:00.000+08:00

-Day 193 in Brazil-
-03-10-2004
-Sunday
-6.34 pm

FINALLY!!!!! Today, I got my hands on my favourite artist´s CD..AVRIL LAVIGNE!*Wink*
I´m so happy coz I found it in Extra supermaket for such a cheap price..Only R$27.90
Besides, I also bought another Cd...The sound track for a Brazilian soap-opera on the Tv every night from 9 pm to 10 pm....It is really good..
GTG now.....host sister got to use the comp now!!!Byebye

***Sorry for those anti Avril lavigne fanss!!! No offence ok?

NORDESTE 2004!!!!!!!!!!!!!sigh

2004-10-02T22:53:00.000+08:00

-Day 192 in Brazil
-02-10-2004
-Saturday
-11.53 am

Time really flies hei!!! NORDESTE 2004 just ended like 2 months ago but to me it still seems like yesterday!!!I can still vividly remember those freaking moments we had on the trip and I´ll probably keep it at heart till as long I can remember! NORDESTE 2004 was my first Rotary organized trip and will my last too...The rest are too expensive so I decided to go down to the south of Brazil together with a few exchange students and we´ll be making our way to the famous Iguaçu falls...It seems that it is one of the 10 wonders in the world..*TRUE OR FALSE*??? Let me see? I know who to ask!! The MR Know all..Mr.Jimmy Tay!!!! Who´s that? Well...that´s of course my dearest father!!!!!!! Ok guys...I´ll find out from him and let you guys know ASAP ok? set? Saturday!!!!* evil smile* let´s get the Party started.......hahahahaha!Actually,it´s just a very normal saturday,I´ll be going out with my host mother later on and we´ll probably catch a show or as usual...her style!!*SHOPPING*
Ok...fellers! I got to run now....Hope to Blog later

2004-10-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

Together with those freaking Aussies...We all had a blasting time on the trip....I really do miss my trip* sad*!
Vera Tay

2004-10-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

ERmmm....Trip pictures together with my good friends..Kofi from Zimbabwe,Kate from Australia and who do you think that cute gurl is?
Vera Tay

Love you,Love you and love you!

2004-10-01T04:32:00.000+08:00

Love you.....Love you....Love you!!!!
Vera Tay

My sadness,My madness,I´m my own savior!

2004-10-01T04:08:00.000+08:00

-Day 190 in Brazil-
-30-09-2004
-Thursday
-4.09 pm

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Thunder storm and lighting strucks,
The clouds suddenly changes from
baby blue to jet black,
Rain starts falling from heaven above
and it gets heavier and heavier....
I´m all alone in the middle of no where,
Trying to find a place to excape,
But all I see is darkness covering me.
I´m stuck, I´m stuck....
This goes on and on in my head
Fear begins to overtake me
Sweat just keeps running down my head
I start to turn round and round
Seeking for help....
I´m lost, I´m lost.....
I donno what to do!!!!
I´m lost in this world of confusion
HELP....HELP....HELP....
*Screamimg*...........arrrrrggggggggggg!!
Written by:
Vera Tay

This is exactly how I felt as I was blogging........Sometimes I just wonder what is it like to live in a world full of pain and suffering???

2004-09-29T08:14:00.000+08:00

-Day 188 in Brazil-
-28-09-2004
-Tuesday
-10.27 pm

The city at night.................Just so pretty...especially this dutch looking house turned bar!!!
Vera Tay

2004-09-29T08:12:00.000+08:00

My host sister and I took the Teleferico up to the mountain..It was just so fun and scary too...
Vera Tay