Thursday, September 30, 2010

Men are from Mars.....

I hate it why men are so diffferent from women in the emotional and communication aspect. Honesty, men do not know how we, women think! They know nothing! They do not know how we feel, even if we are disappointed or sad. They just don't catch these emotions.


Guys as they are...Top 10 list
1) Guys don't realize a simple text message makes a different.
2) Guys think that by not telling us something to not make us worry but in fact it actually worry us more.
3) Guys can compartmentalise their feelings and not think of us.
4) Guys think by giving lip service on how much they love us will do, we need to see it too.
5) Guys are egoistic beings. Naturally are.
6) Guys think that buying flowers is a waste of money.
7) Guys always think that we are complaining but in fact we are just telling them how we feel.
8) Guys always use the lame excuse of being busy and can't or won't call us.
9) Guys always thinks we are DISTURBING them.
10) Guys will never appreciate a girl not until they loose her. 

I seriously cannot understand when you say you are busy. In terms of work, I do but busy the whole day? Don't you have lunch breaks? Toilet breaks? Dinner breaks? Ciggies breaks? You can't even give me 5min out of 24 hours? Is 5 minutes even too much to ask? Do you think I am unreasonable? I've waited 4 days for you to call me. I dare not call you in fear that I will disturb you. Every night I wait in excitement for your call because you always call me before you sleep. I texted you but to no avail...I will never get a reply. The most astounding text I ever got is "I'm very tired, going to sleep now. Will call you tomorrow!". You mean you have no more energy for your voice to come out to talk to me or is it that you are lazy to talk to me since you are very tired. You promise me every day that you will call me at night before you sleep and when I remind you, you answer me in a very irritated tone. Promises are just promises and it will always be broken. I don't know if I can trust you anymore when you say you will call me later. If tomorrow you don't call me, then I fear that you would have created a wall in our relationship. I know long distance relationships are never easy and alot of compromises have to be made to please both parties but it takes 2 to tango and I can't be the only one here holding on to the fort. You need to play your part too. I've never been so disappointed and upset before. I've never shed as many bucket of tears before and cry myself to sleep. I'm just speechless at your attitude towards our relationship. 


God I need your strenght to pull me through. Amen!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Saudades

Saudades in portuguese means Miss but its not an accurate translation because there isn't a correct word to really explain the meaning of the word saudade. It is something more than just missing someone. It's a passionate word with deep meaning.

Today's post is about great people that came into my life, be it friends since school days, or some that I've know along the way in college or even friends that i've only known for not too long. You all have touched me in various ways...be it by your act of kindness, your generosity, kindness and self-less ways....I love you guys very much. I'm touched and grateful that I have such wonderful friends in my life...few that will go all out to genuinely help you and just be there as a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. Thank you :)

M & M

Mellissa, though I've only known you for 2 years, I'm so grateful and touched for all that you've done for me and James. Be it your generosity in hosting us and buying clothes for me all the times :) or your kind and caring ways towards us. Though we chat almost every day...I miss you so much. Can't wait to see you next year in NZ. I've known you like forever. Always listening to stories from Caroline about her cousin, Mellissa since secondary school days. Never did I imagine that I would treat you like my sister and someone that I look up to. As a person, you showed me all the good attributes that a person should be and I wanna be like you. Mellissa and Melvyn, thank you for just being there.

Carol & Ita with a breathtaking view of Bali


Carol oh Carol...I've known you like since when? Hmmm....since Form 1. Can't believe it has been that long. Time does fly huh! Thanks for sticking by me through everything and being such an understanding person. I would have had such a terrible experience in school had it not been you being there for me. From helping me see the board when I couldn't see and also always putting up with my self-made lyrics that I used to sing in class. Haha...
Though I've hurt you before because of my blunt ways, you always forgave me. I'm sorry for being too straight forward at times...I guess you know me and accept me for who I am..I'm trying to better myself too. Thanks for all the lovely meal that you belanja-ed me. I promised that when I'm a successful lawyer, Abalone and sharksfin --- I belanja you! No problem ok.. :) Don't forget, the Maid of Honour's place will always be kept for you unless you reject it la..

Ita, our friendship wasn't a smooth path per say. I remembered when we first knew each other, we were always at each others head. I guess friendship is not something that you cultivate over night. It's a process of getting to sync and adapt to each person's idiosyncrasies and ways. I'm glad we became close around 3 years ago.

Thank you Carol and Ita for being such great friends! There are much more things I would love to say but at times words can never give justice to the things you both have done for me. What would I do without you guys?

We girls at 21 tables + terrace
Jo, you are one of a kind. You are considerate, you are patient, you are kind, you are hardworking, you are warm...you are everything I want to be. Thanks for lending your ears all the time. You speak words of wisdom all the time and you never fail to show me a different perspective of life. You never impose your ways on others and you always make a point to remind us that everyone are just different. Jo, by God's grace, you will go far! This is my prayer for you:)

Mun, my other half! Why my other half? It's because we are quite alike. We speak too loud, we speak too much, we speak too fast! We look young and never look our age. People always think we are still 18. Haha. We gossip like nobody's business and laught too much in class till we kena la scolding from the TAXI UNCLE ..Hehehehe

Amy, the sweet one. You are the organiser of the group. You are the leader. You know when I'm feeling down, you are the one that can always sense something is not right..I can't believe I'm having a writer's block just thinking of what to write about you. I can tell you though I'm stuck here with words, my heart about you feels right. I know you are a great friend. I can sense it too :)

Girls, a BIG thanks to 3 of you. With all the different attributes and characters, you girls make very good bridesmaids and organisers for my wedding...:)

During my visit to NZ in 2008 Summer
Lastly, to the one I love. Thanks for sticking by me through thick and thin. I need not elaborate further ya. You know what I mean la..:) I love you!

ps:// written in no particular order ya :)

Monday, September 27, 2010

We'll be a dream......



I particularly love this part

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

Basically I love the whole song!

I wanna dream....have BIG DREAMS...without dreams there would not be goals and achievement...so why not?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Overindulging in Mooncakes

Time to hit the gym this week...been having all sorts of flavoured mooncakes within the span of 2 weeks and not to mention great food since was squatting at aunts place for a couple of days. Last week, uncle bought some mooncakes from Resort World Genting Singapore. Tried some with Lotus and salted egg yolk. I'm not a big fan of mooncakes with egg yolk so it didn't really leave an impression. This week, boss brought some pure lotus mooncake from Mandarin Oriental Hotel..I must say it is so far the best I've ever tried.The paste was smooth and the pastry was very light. Not to mention that is was not very sweet. Yesterday, went to aunt's house for Mid Autumn Festival dinner and ate more mooncakes from Concorde Hotel. Let see she bought 1 big box that came with 6 small mooncakes with different flavours. There were mix nuts, lotus paste with egg yolk, charcoal yam, pandan, lemon and hmmm...gosh I forgot what's the other flovour. Anyway, we only opened the lotus paste with egg yolk, Pandan and Lemon ones. Personally I thought it was not that fantastic but since aunt bought it at 30% I guess it's worthwhile. I thought the mooncake craze and nightmare was over not until when I came in to the office this morning that Boss offered more mooncake. This time she brought Tiramisu and blackberry flavoured mooncakes...It's so tempting since it is just left outside. Guess just have to wait for someone to "officiated" the opening of the mooncakes then I'll just take a tini-wini bit..

Let see, for the pass week since I was staying at aunts place as Dad came down for a course. My other aunt from Melaka came along and *yum yum* had delicious & glorious home cook food. In a span of 3 days, I had sambal udang, fried gragau, ginseng soup, beggars chicken, sweet & sour fish, chicken chop, pumpkin soup, mash potato, salad and pasta.

Yes, it's time to go back to gym screaming *aarggggg*. Need to watch the expansion of my waist line, hips & buttocks  :(.Guess I have to go back to my diet and no carbo at nights.

I guess I have to tell you this, I'm really sorry If I will hurt you but I've decided to break our perfect relationship.








I don't wanna ever see you again!









Bye-bye FOOD!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The journey of faith

This is an ancient pic during the early days of our relationship
It has been exactly 5 years since we first met. The memories are crystal clear as to what you were wearing during our first date and also what our conversation were. I remembered you wearing the Seed shirt with jeans, Rolex watch and also your police boots. My heart was racing while waiting for you to pick me up. Well after all it was my first date, I'm entitled to feel nervous and yet excited at the same time.

Fast forward 5 years, here we are still together and I know I love you more and more as each day passes. I admit our journey is no fun fair. It's not smooth, it's not happy all the time, there are ups and downs occasionally but yet we managed to concur all of our differences, understanding each other better. Love is self-less! Sacrificing is part of the game..We don't complaint but go all out to pleased our partners.

Though we are apart all the time, I guess this is how our relationship gets better. As a saying goes.."If you love someone more than anything, then distance only matters to the mind, not to the heart." It's true! Every time I hear your voice, I feel you close and near to me. I look forward to that very call everyday. Anyway, I can't deny the fact I miss you every day but I'm strong and I know I can survive through this ordeal. Just looking forward to get my LLB Degree and doing my CLP. :) 
Celebrating his 30th birthday this year :)

Darling, I just want to say I will hold your hand till the ends of our life. I will love, cherish and appreciate you in every possible way. I'm sorry If I previously hurt you so deeply. Every day is a learning process for us to strive to be a better person and I want to do it with you. You once said that we have a long road to go and that you would want to walk it with me.. Fate brought us together and I have faith that the Big Man above knows what is best and has great plans for us in the future. Right now, right here...I just want to wish you a very Happy 5th Anniversary. I don't know why am I even counting the years as if it really matters. What matters most is I know we have along way and more years to go so why count in the first place. I know we will always be together despite what may come our way.

Ps:// You said you loved me for these 5 years...I will say I've loved you for 5 years and will love you forever!

Friday, September 17, 2010

What if......

What' and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening
as words come. But put
them together side-by-side and they
have the power to haunt you for the
rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

"I don't know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt
then was love - true love - then
it's never too late. If it was true
then it why wouldn't it be true
now? You need only the courage to
follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that
feels like... a love to leave loved
ones for, a love to cross oceans
for... but I'd like to believe if I
ever felt it. I'd have the courage
to seize it. I hope you had the
courage to seize it, Claire. And if
you didn't, I hope one day that you
will.".

Love the letter that Sophie wrote to Claire in the movie " Letters to Juliet". Personally, It was really touching and emotional for me not to mention romantic.

It really reminds me of you.

Bad days, I feel you slipping through my fingers..
I feel I'm so far away from you that I don't matter anymore.
I feel lonely
I'm afraid I won't recognise you and your touch.
Your smile, touch and your face is constantly running in my brain.


Good days, I know you're there.
You are the reason I look forward to my final year.
Everyday I can't wait for your call
The excitement of hearing your voice makes me wanna....
Though it really hurts to be far away from you,

I know it's the best for our future so be Happy :)


It's another 5 days to our 5th Anniversary of which we only celebrated 2 years as you were away for the rest and this year is no different. Well, it's just a number and since we will be together for many more years to come so why count in the first place. :)

Oh, will be starting class tomorrow *excites*. Can't believe I will be a final year student. All my hard work for the pass few years will be paid off real soon...

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

DIGI Malaysia day advert



Absolutely loved this advert. It's genuine, cool, awesome and brilliant! Who doesn't like sambal? If you don't then you're not Malaysian. :)

Well done DIGI!!!

The untitled emotion......

Why do people procrastinate?

Everyone procrastinates to some degree so it's normal but when you've asked someone for something for like 3 -4 times and yet it's not done, it gets kinda irritating to have to keep asking for it. No one likes being nagged and vice versa.

Definition frm Wikipedia

Procrastination refers to the counterproductive deferment of actions or tasks to a later time. Psychologists often cite such behavior as a mechanism for coping with the anxiety associated with starting or completing any task or decision.[1] Schraw, Wadkins, and Olafson have proposed three criteria for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.[2]
Procrastination may result in stress, a sense of guilt and crisis, severe loss of personal productivity, as well as social disapproval for not meeting responsibilities or commitments. These feelings combined may promote further procrastination. While it is regarded as normal for people to procrastinate to some degree, it becomes a problem when it impedes normal functioning. Chronic procrastination may be a sign of an underlying psychological disorder.


I really don't mind if a person procrastinates because I do it too. We are humans and we are definitely not perfect. Yes, it can be annoying, irritating and frustrating but definitely not anger. However, if the task is really time sensitive and of great importance, it really gets on my nerves but what can I say especially if that person is your love ones. Day by day I just have to remind him and of course he will say yes...yes...yes but the task is never done. Actually it's not even difficult to do it. I used to get really angry but it has now turned into disappointment because I feel what I'm asking can be done within 5 minutes and telling me you are busy is just an excuse. Moreover, what I'm asking will eventually be part of something for you. I wanted to keep it as a surprise but I had to tell you it's for you and I thought by doing so it will speed up the process...I was wrong. How difficult can it be?

I just have to be patient and wait....just wait and wait!


Damn it.......


All I need is just an address to send a card to you. *sobz*

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

Brasil, minha segunda casa!!!!

The title translated simply means Brazil, my second home in portuguese.

Amirul and I at the All American Reject's concert
Amirul and I, we've planned to go back to Brazil in 2014 for the football worldcup which would be held in Brazil. For obvious reasons, he loves football and would die to go back to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the worldcup live. As for me, football isn't my cup of tea but since he has plans to return to Brazil during that time, so why not just tag along as a companion and also to visit all my beloved friends and host families. Oh....for those who doesn't know, Amirul and I were previously exchange students to Brazil in 2004 - 2005 under the Rotary Youth Exchange Programme.

Belle and me in front of the then Eye of Malaysia


Memories of Brazil still lingers in my mind all the time. The memories are still fresh and I deeply miss my host families. Fortunately, I've met my host sister, Marina twice in Malaysia as she is a air stewardess with Emirates Airlines and will catch every opportunity for a flight to Malaysia to visit me. I've also met with Cibelle, my first English speaking friend in Brazil which became 1 of my closest friend ever. She was doing a backpacking trip in Asia few years back and managed to stop by Malaysia and as usual I played host to her.

Gemma brought me to One Tree Hill in Auckland
I hope to see my other youth exchange friend in Brazil in 2014. Perhaps I shall start contacting them to make sure everyone return to Brazil then and we shall have a mini gathering. The first exchange student that I got to know and eventually became 1 of my closest friend like forever...GEMMA! She was different from others. I immediatelly clicked with her and we did everything on our Northeast Trip for 1 month. I was so happy I managed to visit her in New Zealand last year and we managed to catch up and she brought me round Auckland. We were just so glad we actually got to meet up after 4 years since leaving Brazil.

Kofi, Kate and me posing in front of the famous Christ the Redeemer in Riode Janeiro
Hmmmm....Ok that was about Gemma. Next on the list should be about Kofi, from South Africa and Kate from Australia. I missed them alot. Both of them were my besties after the Northeast Trip. We sang in the bus, sat together, hung out together...did everything possible together. Both of them were great friends but sadly after returning to our home country, we hardly keep in contact though both are listed in Fb as my friends. Looks like it's about time to reunite the gang...2014-Brazil seems to be the perfect year, perfect time and perfect place to meet up.

Esti from Indonesia

Esti was my best friend in Brazil as she lived in Sao Paulo with me. Kofi and Kate were staying in different states really far away from me so it was quite hard for me to visit them constantly. Both of us did quite alot of activity together, from shopping to sleeping over and etc. Que Saudade (Missing her). Though Indonesia is so near to Malaysia, sadly we never met up too.

Exchange students from various contries

Finally, a group of exchange students from various countries during some event we took part. I'm looking forward to meeting up with everyone in Brazil in 2014. I guess then will be a good time to meet up as everyone would have graduated and working. I remembered Kofi, Kate and me, the 3 of us had come out with some adventurous plan that we would visit each other in our respective countries and would take turns every year. Hmm....well it's always easy to talk and plan but execution is always the hardest part...

2014...I'm counting down :)

Monday, September 06, 2010

Coffee, tea or me?

Poems written by Mr. J


Friends and lover...

Platonic love is very much a part of any close friendship. But such a love doesn't always stay platonic. Sometimes it turns into passionate love. Crossing that line, between friendship and love, can be both beautiful and extremely difficult.

1.Love On The Internet

Though I wasn't looking for anyone new,
One day I got e- mail and in it was you.
Charming, sensitive and so debonair,
I strongly resisted it go anywhere.

But letters and stories captured my heart,
Filled me with passion almost from the start.
Love on the Internet, how could it be?
These things just don't happen to people like me.

But doves and butterflies flew into our lives,
Carrying messages we could not deny.
Each person has meaning and love to express,
And we could deny our hearts nothing less.

It's a beautiful love that has grown between us,
Something beyond any words we discuss.
Much deeper than LOL, cyber kisses and such,
Far down to our souls, beyond human touch.

My love's not confined by what it can see,
I feel you, I taste you, I experience your dream.
Close my eyes, and I envision what in my heart I can hear,
"Love knows no boundaries, no distance, no fear."

It's the soul that captures God's love in a way
That eternally melts hearts together to stay.
Fused and sealed forever as one,
Love has its way and new life is begun.

When two people communicate, love can happen anywhere, anytime, and often unexpectedly. The Internet only opens a new setting for an old drama. However, whenever, or wherever people get together, love will find a way. It found me and could not be denied.


2.Emotions...

I was inspired to write this poem when i sms-ed to a friend that really means a lot to me although we knew each other recently. She gives me the feelings inside that just spark my desire to write. I can't describe the feelings that came over me. So, i released them and express myself in this poem...

Blush...
You always make me blush
The tingling sensation that flows throughout my cheeks
As you flatter me with the sweet words you speak

Gasp...
Your touch; your embrace
They send goose bumps down my spine
So chilling it makes it hard to breathe

Love...
The love you express to me
And all the love that you give to me
I know now what I live for

To feel you
To hold you
To kiss your lips and
To try my best to reach your soul

Never wanting to be away from you
To let go of your body
To let your hand separate from my grasp
How I long to have you by my side

These are the moments
When time should have no existence
Where it should never end and
Bring to reality you have to leave

Please don't leave...

A warm kiss goodbye
A cool spring breeze
A tear from my eye
The time has come that I must leave

So alone now
I know I'm still in your heart
"Only a phone call away" I say to myself
To ease the loneliness I feel

You complete me
You make me whole
You're my other half
You're the happiness I've waited for

You chase away my cloudy days
You put a twinkle in my darkest nights
All these days I've spent with you
I still don't know how to express the
emotions I feel

The only words that come to mind
Are words so commonly used
I want them to be unique
To release everything I feel

To me, they aren't enough
But yet, they'll have to do...

Those were the days when J was going after me. Guess he didn't know how to express himself but to blog bout it and to let me stumble accross his blog. I would say this again and again that I'm so blessed to have him in my life as my pillar of strengh, my listening ear where I seek solace and also a place where I can find comfort. Thank you for just being there.

Espana....my dream honeymoon destination!!!

Funny how I thought of you as I was watching some travelling and cooking show on Spain! I can't help to think about you every single time I see something that is associated with ESPANA! Barcelona, Madrid.....

Every since you worked in Spain for 4 months, I've begun to fantasized of going to Spain to see the wonderful Sagrada da Familia and all the other breathe taking architecture that is of Antonio Gaudi's work. After listening to all the interesting stories of your adventures in Barcelona, Spain, I've begun to completely fall in love with that city, country. Every since going to Brazil and being able to converse in Portuguese, I've always wanted to learn Spanish as it is more widely spoken compared to Portuguese. Perhaps, ESPANA will be the best place... :)

I will never forget Spain as it was the first country you went for work and the longest away from me before New Zealand. You went for 4 months and I thought it was HELL but you never know what surprises may come next. Before I knew it you were going to NZ for 6 months. It was painful..haha..You know there is a saying that "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", I don't know...I feel its more like 'Absence makes the heart more painful". Haha...Now, you have yet gone to another country far far away from me for God knows how long...Yeah yeah think long term as I said in my previous blog post!

Back to Espana, gosh I think I could live there forever...All the wonderful and glorious food! Hmmmmm....Paelas, Tortillas, Hamons and etc...Yum Yum!!

Before I've always wanted Maldives to be my Honeymoon destination but in recent years...Huh I've got myself a new place..*a hint to Mr. Tan* ..Ooops...

Ps:// I love you more and more as the days go by

Saturday, September 04, 2010

Everyday I love you

I've been sick for almost 2 weeks...I don't know why the cough and sore throat just hasn't gone way! I think my life has gone from boring to dull...far beyond dull i think. My daily routine is just work, home, watching movies and sleep. Not much of a life huh...I guess not much for my final year.

I can't stop thinking bout you everyday. I know we've always been apart  such as Mlk and KL but this year we've always seen each other every fort night and so I feel kinda off the track knowing that you are so far away. I can't seem to put my emotions right. It's only almost 2 weeks but I feel like it has been 2 years what more another 10 months...gosh I can't wait.

Baby, the only thing I look forward to everyday is the time when we speak on the phone or chat on the MSN. *emo* sial.

I'm just glad that you are back to work and you said that you are doing this for our future...so yeah I got to sacrifice all this shitty emotions of mine and think long term.

Ps:// I love you!!!!!